Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Landmark Madding Crowd Victory

Mars Potential Stoush-Up”

 

 

Sunday 10th August 2003

Result:  Won by 45 Runs

Venue:  Wootton & Bladon

40 overs (reduced to 35)

FFTMCCC

202 - 4

I. Howarth  89*,  T. Smith  58*

Wootton & Bladon

157 ao

M. Westmoreland  2 - 17,  S. Hebbes  2 - 24

 

 

 

In a controversial incident in the sleepy village of Wootton today that disappointed fight fans everywhere, a potentially engrossing mid-pitch punch-up was interrupted by the on-going progress of a game of cricket towards a remarkable victory for the visiting team. With The Madding Crowd four wickets down but I. Howarth (89 n.o.) still at the crease, one of the Wootton bowlers sent down a half volley which the opening batsman dispatched without fuss to the boundary on the bounce. Turning to Howarth, the bowler was heard to say, "That was a fine shot, bastman. You’re in good nick today, I'd bet you'd hit me for six next time." "Not at all," replied Howarth at once, "it was a lucky blow, and no doubt you’ll clean bowl me soon, you have a clever slower delivery, I expect I won’t pick it. And there’s no way you’re a wanker no matter what anyone says." At the end of the over, an angry T. Mander (umpiring) was seen to approach the Wootton captain, demanding that his bowler be more intimidating and unpleasant, otherwise he would dock Wootton, his own team The Mad, and every other team in the country plus all football and rugby teams five runs each for failing to precipitate a nasty incident with the potential to sour the feeling between the two sides. And yet, no incident subsequently developed, and later, as another blow from Howarth sailed over that very bowler’s head at mid-wicket for the promised six, S. Dobner from the scorer’s hutch was heard to call out, "Bad luck fielder, good effort! I expect your weight problem is a glandular one!"

Wootton & Bladon were a strong team with depth in bowling, athletic in the field, who batted down to their diminutive number eleven. Some of their number actually looked like cricketers, and of these, one or two had an authentic swaggering gait. In the only previous meeting between the two sides, in June earlier this year at Horspath, Wootton had defended 211 with ease to win by 120 runs. It was the expectation, therefore, of perhaps both teams, that today would see a repetition of that result. Over the summer, Wootton had rarely lost, whereas the Mad, despite putting themselves into winning positions, had too often failed to convert their chances.

 

 

The Wootton roller ran on man-power!

 

Winning the toss, J. Hoskins captaining inserted Wootton into the field in the afternoon’s early heat, and S. Dobner (18) again proved his worth as an all-rounder on the hillock-ridden wicket, making the early strokeplay in the opening stand of 52, equal second-highest of the season. T. Mander (0) and M. Westmoreland (0) soon joined Howarth at the crease, then soon departed, falling prey to imps and ne'erdowells in the pitch, demons being too strong a term, and when E. Lester (8) played over the top of a straight one, a familiar collapse seemed to be in full swing.

 

 

Martin (duck) checks the scorer hasn’t missed all his runs.

 

T. Smith (58 n.o.) had other ideas. Not five minutes earlier he had been warming up beyond the boundary rope, hammering a bag of balls at the squirrels in the branches of the overhanging oaks, using his revolutionary flat-bat technique to teach the tree-rats a lesson in survival. Coming to the crease with the score on 69-4, Smith soon demonstrated that he had little respect for any bowling that was either short or full of a length, of a good length or straight, or wide of the off or leg stumps. With Howarth playing a more conventional role, scoring almost at will against an impotent Wootton attack, the total had raced to 160 before the heavens opened and, as lightning played round the hedgerows and thunder crashed overhead, an early tea break intervened.

 

The resumption saw the game reduced to 35 from 40 overs, but Wootton still had no answer to the Mad’s fifth-wicket pair, which by the close of innings had taken the score to 202, their partnership of 133* breaking all Jude and Mad records, with the 89 n.o. scored by the insouciant Howarth being the second-highest ever individual total behind L. Davie’s 97 against South Oxford in season 2001.

 

 

Ian (dot on the horizon) had a real good knock, but not a hundred.

 

Requiring 203 for the victory, there is little doubt that Wootton possessed the team to achieve the total, but the crucial first ten overs saw the home side stuck in the mire, as S. Dobner (2-37) and J. Hoskins (1-27) held to the line and length necessary to frustrate the antsy batsmen. S. Hebbes (2-24) and M. Westmoreland (2-17) both bowled crucial tight spells under pressure and, laying claim to catch of the season, T. Smith used his hand to stop a rocket from the key Wootton batsman hitting the turf, with A. Mann (2-41) drawing a false shot from the second dangerman though later to be fair he was tonked for a six into the potting shed which gave everyone a good laugh. B*stards. Several other catches went undropped, almost included a fine diving effort from the deceptively nimble M. Westmoreland and almost a couple of sitters, and with wickets falling at regular intervals on the uneven rabbit-infested pitch, Wootton were always behind the run rate. Yet the home team showed their resilience, and even with three overs to go, there were nerves ajangle among the Mad, who knew that a loss from this position would psychologically destroy even the strong-minded among them, if such there were. But the last pair fell in a run out with the score at only 157, and the Mad, in recording what many said was the team’s best ever win, had saved themselves from complete psychic obliteration.

 

* * *

 

 

1  x  S. Dobner  +  multiple Stella  =  a nice quiet day out.

 

Later, after shaking hands and calling each other a bunch of pussies, both teams adjourned to the nearby pub, where they shook hands and called each other a bunch of pussies a few more times before calling it a day.

 

Who says that the drugs don't work?

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

Statto's Scorecard

 

 

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