Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Citywide Celebrations in Doubt

As Jude Notch up First Win”

 

 

Sunday 23rd May 1999

Result:  Won by 4 Wkts

Venue:  Cutteslowe Park

35 overs

Marlborough House

166 - 8

H. Jones  2 - 21,  C. Legg  2 - 29,  J. Blann  2 - 33

Jude The Obscure

170 - 6

L. Davie  68

 

 

 

The Mayor of Oxford made no announcement today about a citywide carnival to celebrate the season’s first victory for the redoubtable Jude The Obscure XI. Likewise, no Jude players have been subjected recently to tabloid sting operations designed to uncover their less savoury habits and practices. An unnamed spokesperson from the Jude camp said, ‘We’re frankly disappointed that none of us have been singled out for career-destroying attention from the Yellow Press. What does a person have to do these days to wake up one morning and find their life in ruins? As for the lack of a ticker-tape parade with pom-pom girls and brass band, it can surely only be an oversight we hope to see rectified soon. Want to buy some drugs?’

 

Dogs were heard to miaow, sick people rose from their beds, and young women swooned as the news of the Jude’s victory spread through the city. Church bells rang out, and children joined hands and danced in circles, singing ‘Ding dong the witch is dead, the witch is dead.’ And then, as thousands watched in awe, the spectre of The Jude’s recent failures rose up dark and impenetrable, and a great betaloned hand seemed to reach down towards the pub on Walton Street, threatening to enclose it and blot out the sun, before there arose a wind to blow the black, stenchful cloud away.

 

 

Looking into the future – M. Reeves would gravitate to the FFTMCC….

 

To be fair, this was a comfortable win for the newly resurgent pub eleven. Once again bowling first, this time out the Jude bowlers broke through early to take the game by the scruff of the neck. J. Blann (2-33), C. Legg (2-29) and H. Jones (2-21) all chipped in to leave Marlborough House reeling at 45-4. Indeed, if not for a well constructed century by Marlborough’s M. Reeves (102) the Jude’s target would have been nothing less than derisory. John Moore (1-16) was so confident of the result that he spent much of the time in the field on the phone to friends and relatives, spreading the good news about the imminent victory.

 

But the batsmen had to do the job as well. The Jude’s innings was built around L. Davey (68), who had not the Marlborough captain taken a freakish catch at short cover might still be batting now. Additional and useful contributions came from J. Blann (18), Captain E. Lester (16 n.o.), C. Legg (13) and H. Jones (11). James Moore (17 n.o.) slapped the red leather, and in the process slapped the Jude to victory in a display of vicious smearing and hoiking that will long be remembered by the two old people and lost dog who actually watched any part of the game.

 

 

When asked how he felt about the win, Captain E. Lester said, ‘Fantastico. James Moore’s batting was a revelation, but the crucial innings came from Lee Davey, who set us up for the victory. It was significant that Howard Jones dismissed their top-scorer near the end, too. With new batsmen in, they only scored one run in the final over, which is unheard of.’

 

All in all, then, a satisfying day for The Jude, who seem to have regained the form that had mysteriously deserted them in the first three fixtures. And as for those ignorant few who persist in their claims that cricket is no more than the pointless pursuit of a red leather ball across an unmown outfield, let them be reminded once again of the looks of delight on the faces of the small children as the news of the win came through.

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

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