Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Jude Lead the Way

In Pressing for Radical Changes”

 

 

Sunday 6th June 1999

Result:  Won by 5 Wkts

Venue:  Marcham CC

35 overs

Marcham CC

85 ao

S. Dickens  6 - 23,  S. Redfern  3 - 12

Jude The Obscure

88 - 5

S. Redfern  32

 

 

 

Sometimes the grand ideas appear to come about almost through accident, an apparent confluence of time and tide meeting at the nexus of probability to create a new and astounding reality. But what is the true source of such inspiration? A voice rising up from the mass subconscious? Morphogenetic resonance? A feeling you get when you look to the west and your spirit is longing for leaving?

 

So it came to pass that at Marcham last Sunday great events unfolded on the humble sward, as the nine-man Jude team grasped the chalice of innovation and drank heartily therefrom. Said an unnamed Jude spokesperson after the game, ‘Ask anyone, the sport of cricket is a complete joke, a risible case, pukeworthy and lamentable in character, with no redeeming features whatsoever. We at the Jude saw the chance to rescue cricket from its morass of mediocrity, and that’s exactly what we did. Nine Man Theory will revolutionize the game, only a gibbering fool would say otherwise. We took a gamble, and it paid off. We have shown here today that the Nine Man Team can work. If we want cricket to be as popular with the general public as sports like conkers, underwater hockey and stoolball, this is exactly the sort of challenge we have to meet. Want to buy some drugs?’

 

The success of Nine Man Theory was proven in a devastating display which saw The Jude cruise home with wickets to spare - albeit two less than usual. Winning the toss, stand-in captain A. Mann elected to bowl, a canny ploy perfectly suited to Nine Man Theory, and which had the added effect of forcing the opposition to bat. Jude irregulars S. Dickens (6-23) and S. Redfern (3-12) opened the attack and after a blistering spell soon had Marcham in utter disarray at 2-4. Any thoughts of a middle order rally were snuffed out when M. Thorburn (1-7) caught the villagers’ captain T. Barratt (32) plum in front with a dipping delivery. Dickens and Redfern duly returned to mop up the tail. M. Bullock had a blinder behind the stumps. Interviewed during the game, C. Legg commented, ‘Four wickets for two runs? It doesn’t get any better than this. Let’s go home.’

 

The first stage of Nine Man Theory having been shown to work, it was now up to the cleverly depleted batting line-up to finish the job. S. Redfern (32) and C. Legg (16) opened the innings and made virtually sure of victory with a composed stand of 40. M. Thorburn (13) looked composed until one kept low and scattered the woodwork. A late middle order collapse briefly threatened the result, but S. Dickens (13 n.o.) remained composed, while A. Mann (0 n.o.) batted with composure in the final few overs as unpretty storm clouds gathered overhead.

 

* * *

 

So, another triumphant afternoon for the brave Jude IX. Captain E. Lester, on a scouting mission to Spain, returns to helm the side for the important grudge match showdown face-off square-up with the Beehive next Sunday. Although it is still uncertain precisely where the idea for the Nine Man Team originated, there is certainly no truth in the rumour that it came about only because several Jude regulars were away and some other players simply couldn’t be arsed to show up.

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

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Statto's Scorecard

 

 

 

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