Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Jude The Obscure Embroiled
In Match Fixing
Scandal”
|
Sunday 7th May
2000 |
|
|
Result: Lost by 144 Runs |
|
|
Venue: Marsh Baldon |
|
|
35 overs |
|
|
Baldons |
209 - 9 |
|
G. Le Tocq 4 - 48,
J. Yarwood 2 - 26 |
|
|
Jude The Obscure |
65 ao |
|
C. Legg 11 |
|
|
A field of daises unfolding towards a copse of beech. Thatched roofs
sloping down into wild gardens luxuriant with the hurrying necessities of
spring. The easeful murmurs of country life: muted conversations beneath the
shady limes, the far call of a rook - and the sound of leather on willow.
Here, in a hidden world, all but passed by in the frenzied race into the
future, there is a peace of sorts to be found, for a few hours at least a
respite from the worries and toil of the daily grind. Or at least, there was
until last Sunday, when at The Baldons ground, explosive accusations about
lack of match fixing threatened to besmirch and undermine the good name of
cricket.
The Baldon’s is a real
groovy place to live. Even as the last Jude wicket was falling
with the score at only 65 - 144 runs in arrears of The Baldons total - cries
were going up round the ground from the loyal Jude supporter: ‘Please,
please, somebody tell me this match was rigged!’ But to the surprise of many,
rumours of match fixing did not start, and late last night Jude captain Eddie
‘Hansie’ Lester was still reported to not be in hiding. Indeed, several of
Lester’s team mates, in off-the-record statements, agreed that they had never
had any reason to doubt their captain’s integrity. A spokesperson for The
Jude commented: ‘Of course we’re disappointed. Two of our batsmen run out
needlessly, two more carelessly stumped, and a further series of rash shots
against a frankly pedestrian bowling attack. When you include the horrendous
dropped catches while we were in the field, you’d think that somebody
somewhere would be suspicious that the fix was in, but apparently no doubts
of any kind have been raised. We just don’t understand it. By the way, give
me a call on my mobile if you want to know how many ducks we’ll score next
game.’
If you have a spare million to hand, you can have one of these. The Jude were unlucky to
lose the toss and be forced into the field on one of the hottest days of the
year, but nevertheless an impressive start saw captain E. Lester (2-54) and
Jude debutante G. Le Tocq (4-48) getting the early breakthroughs to have The
Baldons reeling at 23-3. But the home team soon found their range, with P.
Denning (91) savaging anything wide or short, and by the time a second Jude
newcomer J. Yarwood (2-26) took the next scalp with a clever ball that
bounced several times before it reached the stumps, the initiative was well
and truly gone. Nevertheless, such was The Jude’s early season confidence
that fielders on several occasions simply declined to take straightforward
catches, and Jude stalwart C. Legg spent most of the innings either gorging
himself in the pub or standing by the boundary rope smoking and drinking
beer. A late flurry of wickets saw The Baldons restricted to 209-9.
The Baldon’s quaint little pavilion – room enough for a cat. In batting as well, the
Jude XI showed an admirable confidence bordering on bravado. As wicket after
wicket fell cheaply, each batsman seemed through their profligacy to be expressing
remarkable faith in the players that followed, but as the afternoon wore on,
the weakness of this innovative strategy was revealed when the total had
reached a meagre 65 with no-one left to make the century required for what
had been an expected win. First to fall was A. Mann (4) who, after a lengthy
mid-pitch chat on the merits or otherwise of attempting a single, found that
not even his gazelle-like speed was enough to see him safely home. Jude tyro
P. Grant (0) showed momentary resolve, and top-scorer C. Legg (11) handily
demonstrated the benefits of eating and driking copious amounts of all manner
of victuals before batting, but C. Norris (2) was another victim of precise
Baldons throwing. Of the rest, L. Kennan (1) managed to get off the mark, and
J. Yarwood (10) proved his pedigree by being only the second Judester to
reach the much aspired-to double figures. A. Mander (4), labouring under the
debilitating effects of a dodgy shoulder, a gammy leg, and various other
ailments, remained not out. * * * In many ways this
was a discouraging start to a new season for The Jude, and yet, heart can be
taken from the fact that all players wore white, beards were tidy, and nobody
peed on the field. ‘Blocker’ |
*