Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Mad Wilt Against Green Invasion”

 

 

Sunday 22nd June 2003

Result:  Lost by 9 Wkts

Venue:  Pembroke College Sports Ground

35 overs

FFTMCCC

137 ao

A. Mann  3 - 23,  D. Jones  2 - 23

Lemmings

138 - 1

N. Hebbes  24

 

 

 

The weather was gorgeous. Absolutely lovely. England had become truly Mediterranean - and everyone loved it. As one looked out across the Pembroke College Sports Ground you could see the stumps shimmer as a sea of clover’s popped on the baking hot ground. 2003 would go down as a real hottie, and this day was surely one of the hottest – all that was really missing was a bevy of scantily clad women pitch-side drooling over the cricketers. Indeed, if it wasn't for the small matter of a game of cricket that heady day in June, one would have imagined the boys from the Mad enjoying so many alternative attractions that Oxford might have offered. No matter, they clambered into their whites, were dumbstruck when their captain lost the toss, and were further bowled over when their opposition for the day, the ubiquitous Lemmings, opted to field. "Field?" they queried, "Field? In this heat? Are they mad? Maybe these Lemmings are mad after all? They just seem to just follow each other around like a flock of sheep….”

 

 

The Lemmings arrive for the game.

 

Not withstanding the idea currently circulating the cricketing world that a decent total is based on solid foundations, opener N. Hebbes heard the rattle of his stumps on only the 4th delivery of the match as he left the crease for a duck. M. Westmoreland (8) and T. Mander (2) provided I. Howarth with some moderate support as the Mad recovered to 37-3, but it was the entrance of a bristling T. Smith which finally got the scoreboard moving. Boundaries became an increasing concern for the Lemmings, especially as they all moved and fielded in the same direction, but their plight was helped somewhat when Howarth (42) got carried away with proceedings and was bowled raking across the line.

 

T. Smith (18), perplexed at his partners rush of blood to the head, decided the best counter attack was to follow suit. He put down his willow, did a handstand, strained as the blood ebbed down to his skull, righted himself, grabbed his bat, and slapped the ball as hard and high as he could…. and was duly caught by an expectant group of giggling green Lemmings in the outfield. A. Mann (12) and M. Bullock (18) offered some doughty resistance in the stifling heat, but the inability of the Mad lower order to protect their stumps was their ultimate undoing. S. Hebbes (7*) watched in despair as the tail folded for a less than sparkling 137 all out.

 

                       

 

Tea.

 

The Madding Crowd total was never enough. Never in a million years, and especially not at this level, and not on a rock-solid batting track with a lightning quick outfield against a team stuffed full of quality university players who eat village teams for breakfast. Anyway, the Mad did take to the field, and S. Dobner (1-26) did take a wicket. However he was the only Mad player to do so as the Lemmings thrashed the shiny red cherry to all parts of the ground to shoot down their target.

 

 

Heat stroke ain’t great you know!

 

Due to the excessive heat and humidity of the day, and the fact that the Mad players left the field drained of all remaining body fluids, the scorebook became a peripheral item of interest. Subsequently very few details were copied from our green friends’ scorebook concerning the Lemmings innings – but what else d’you wanna to know?

 

We got a right good tonking, okay? Oh, and some ginger-haired Lemming slapped a quick fifty.

 

 

‘Spam’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

(...back )