Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

“Howarth Impersonates Lee Davie

As Mad End Season On A High”

Sunday 31^st August 2003
Result: Won by 46 Runs
Venue: Pembroke College Sports Ground
35 overs
FFTMCCC	200 - 8
I. Howarth 97, T. Smith 25
Marlborough House	154 - 9
S. Dobner 3 - 11, S. Hebbes 2 - 45

As England continued to bask in the glorious Indian summer weather, the players of the FFTMCCC applauded their stand-in captain, S. Dobner, on a fine toss won and an excellent decision to bat first. This was in stark contrast to the Marlborough boys who looked on dismally at their skipper, Shelley, and muttered under breath about him being a useless prick.

Another rock hard Pembroke track for the last game of 2003.

With little fluffy clouds peppering the rich blue skies above, N. Hebbes and I. Howarth strode to the crease hoping to get the Mad off to healthy start. And so it proved to be. But after negotiating a brisk few overs from Marlborough speedsters Sulu and Forbes, Hebbes (12) missed a straight full toss and saw the dreaded umpire’s finger raised in his general direction. With the score on 48, he now raised anchor and set sail for the pavilion.

Sailing past the Titanick came the smaller, less profiled frigate, of S. Hebbes. Steve, the younger of the Hebbes’ was enjoying a rich vein of form with the wood, had been promoted up the order to show us what he could do. Alas he had barely graced the pitch with his presence before an alarming "Ooops!" was heard as an attempted pull shot left him collapsed on the turf. His face etched in agony, Steve (5*) retired from the pitch to take no further part in the game. An Oscar for his performance secured, we now await news of any BAFTA awards that may come his way.

Howarth was now joined at the wicket by fellow northerner, M. Westmoreland, and as they waved their *illows with vigour, they saw the Mad past the 100 mark. Everything was going splendidly, with Howarth celebrating his fifty and boundaries becoming a regular, but unfortunately communication avoidance set in when Martin answered a call for a quick single. The woeful mix-up was choreographed by Cheeky the blind chimp, and it is safe to say a silent M. Westmoreland (23) didn’t so much as glance at his partner as he left the field. 114 - 2.

The feelings of remorse for his partner obviously galvanized I. Howarth, and he went on to enjoy fruitful partnerships with T. Smith (25) and the lower order to near a landmark ton. But as his weary bat prepared for one more strike, he obviously succumbed to nerves and swatted a full toss straight to a waiting mid off to depart for 97. So no century then, just like Lee Davie a few years ago. As a clearly disgusted Spam launched his sweaty kit around the changing rooms, the tail wagged and pushed the Mad total to an imperious and wholly round 200 off the final ball of the innings. Sweet.

E. Lester (0) also missed out on a ton on this day.

After gorging on another feast of Kev's sandwiches, the teams walked back onto the field for the resumption of battle. With S. Dobner delivering a miserly opening few overs, and A. Mann (1-17) flanked by helicopters and WWII aircraft, the opposition found the run rate quickly spiralling out of control despite a dogged innings by D. Edwards (57). As the increasingly desperate Marlborough batsmen tried to up the run rate, N. Hebbes (2-45) cashed in with some excellent control, whilst M. Westmoreland (0-47) offered the batsman some customary chicken wings and hope, but T. Smith (2-30) redressed the balance to leave Marlborough clutching straws on 131-6 and hopelessly short of overs, and the game all but over as a contest.

Pembroke would soon be deserted as autumn set in.

It was simply left for skipper for the day, S. Dobner (3-11), to wrap proceedings up with a flurry of full-length bowling and a clatter of stumps. The Mad had triumphed by 46 runs and all was well in the world.

An excellent way to sign off for the end of the season, despite nobody scoring a ton.

‘Spam’

*

Statto's Scorecard

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