Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

Fines summary for 2004

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Top Fines

Pos	Type of Fine	Total
1	Dropped Catch	34
2=	Duck	18
2=	Willing a Team Mate to Get Out	18
4	Smoking on the Pitch	17
5	Self Importance	12

Most Fined Players

Pos	Player	Total	Cost
1	I. Howarth	45	£22.50
2	J. Hoskins	31	£16.00
3=	A. Fisher	28	£14.50
3=	S. Dobner	28	£14.50
5	T. Smith	27	£14.50

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Diary

16^th May

Ian is fined for selling a dummy to Steve whilst fielding, as well as for complaining about not getting enough runs (probably because this was in spite of being dropped three times). James is fined for sportswear avoidance on account of not wearing sunglasses.

Poor quality library footage of JMO not wearing sunglasses.

23^rd May

Ian is fined for falling asleep during the game. Matt begins a series of fines relating to a hand injury.

30^th May

Ant is fined after he admits he was trying to get out. Jake is fined for a vertical throw.

13^th June

Stevie D walks on an LBW appeal. Jake is fined for impersonating a 1970s footballer (due to his hairstyle). Ian blasphemes gratuitously to avoid the need to split a fiver.

20^th June

Ant Mann walks out to bat without pads without realizing and is subsequently fined for each pad.

Ant – a forgetful S.O.B

4^th July

Ant arrives at the pub before the match with sunscreen already applied, and John tries to steal the match ball, both to their cost.

11^th July

When asked if he was captain, Thornton’s response, “No, but I should be,” earns him a fine, posthumously ascribed as self-importance.

25^th July

Half a dozen thirsty players are fined for willing each of James and Jake to get out. Treasurer-to-be Martin fails to collect the money from the opposition and is fined. Ade and Nick are fined for showering together.

31^st July

Nick impersonates a clown, from whom John and Stevie D are fined for taking advice.

Tour clown (left).

Ian drinks from a glass cock, forcing Mike (who seems to believe his home town Carlisle is in Scotland) to joy-ride a Skoda. Martin is fined for not ordering the Moussaka. Self Importance is introduced as a fine and immediately applied liberally. Some are feeling that fines are getting out of hand and are summarily fined.

August +

Ade introduces a ‘one minute per player’ limit for Fines Committee action, bringing things more under control.

Ade (left) and Ant (right) – advocates of harsh, but sensible fines.

It wouldn’t take the progress of time long to forget about the ‘one minute per player’ limit on fines. In fact, in subsequent years – less than a minute of taxes applied to an individual would be considered wholly unimaginative and lazy on behalf of the Committee.

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Special Rates

Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50

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