Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
Backs Fighting Spirit Of Mad Skipper”
|
Sunday 4th July
2004 |
|
|
Result: Won by 1 Wkt |
|
|
Venue: Cowley Marshes |
|
|
35 overs |
|
|
|
135 ao |
|
J. Harris 3 - 27,
N. Hebbes 3 - 43 |
|
|
FFTMCCC |
136 - 9 |
|
M. Westmoreland 31*,
|
|
|
Prior to the commencement of the day’s cricketing
fare, a large crowd of varying populace had gathered at the Cowley Marshes
for the inaugural opening of the new Marshes Mural. This wonderful piece of
commissioned multi-coloured iconic graffiti, some 20 or 30 metres in length,
now adorned a brick wall flanking one side of the ground and served as a fine
and poignant reminder to the children of today, that “War Is”, quite
literally, “Terror.ism”. Guest speaker for the day was the FBI’s 2nd
most wanted fugitive, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who had been flown over for this
momentous East Oxford occasion from his hiding place somewhere in
The Cowley Marshes
represents one of the more picturesque grounds in * * * On this particular day the Mad would be skippered by M. Westmoreland,
who was filling the breach after regular team-cox J. Hoskins was rendered
incapacitated due to sinking a boat-load of alcoholic beverages the previous
day. If reports are to be believed, his piss-up of Herculean proportions was
instigated after a certain (blonde) Russian woman* lifted the With the skies greying and the depressing surrounds not exactly
stimulating the soul, the Mad opted to field first after surveying what
appeared to be some dirt-track masquerading as a cricket pitch. Daisy the
local Friesian cow had spent much of the week trying to iron out the
irregular divots using her hooves, but clumps of gauze and wild fern had
presented more of an obstacle, so these remained mostly untouched and at
least provided some gentle colour to the scheme of things. Opening the bowling both A. Mann and N. Hebbes kept things tidy, in
particular the languid Australian import A. Mann (1-17) who’s subtle use of
in-swing did for the OU opener Rundle who departed for a duck. Runs continued
apace, but the fall of wickets continued apace too and the opposition soon
found themselves slumping to 84 for 8 after medium pacer N. Hebbes (3-43),
off-twirler J. Harris (3-27), and the skipper himself (1-36) all got amongst
the wickets. From here it should have been a simple case of wrapping
proceedings up, retreating pitch-side, and enjoying sandwiches and a
half-time can of Stella whilst savouring a job well done. Unfortunately, as
soon as the ball was tossed to The one bonus of staging a game of cricket at the
Marshes is that it is located not more than a 100 yards from the local pub.
So if anyone needed an excuse to investigate the new décor of the Marsh
Harrier, a torrential downpour was certainly it. Lager, cider and beer soon
flowed, and if it wasn’t for the fact that the ruddy sun came back out the
players from the respective teams would no doubt have enjoyed their day - although
things were slightly marred by a suicide bomber blowing himself up in the
pool room in protest at the £3.10 surcharge on a pint of Nelson Mandella**.
If you want a
cheap pint of lager – forget the Marsh Harrier. On resumption of the game, it was noted with some
befuddlement that the Office #10 bat was in fact the same player who opened
the batting for their cricketing counterparts, the OUP. Or as T Smith was
heard to quip “that gentleman, over there – he’s a rucking finger.” Indeed he
was, and together with another lower order ringer, Latif, they started
slapping the ball about with alarming regularity. And just to compound
matters as the score sailed past the 100 mark, a drunken So, the Offices had somehow totalled 135 after their perilous start,
and now it was the Mad’s turn to wield the *illow on the Albanian
horse-track. I. Howarth, clearly unnerved by the surrounds, swished his bat
for an all too brief and distinctly unsatisfactory boundary, before he pulled
a short one straight to a waiting square leg. Not a dream start by any shakes
of the imagination, but
Nice. Alas, concentration drifted, and after being bowled by a no-ball,
Dobner (20) was then bowled again – this time by a non-no-ball. So he was
out. Rather than being not out. 51 for 2 then quickly became 62 for 6 as first
Flash came and went in a… flash (bowled first ball), A. Morley went for a
masterful zero, and a disappointed J. Harris (17) saw his timber rattled. The
terminal decline of the innings now threatened to become a wholesale collapse
when a jittery J. Hotson was also out, becoming the third duck of the
innings. N. Hebbes now joined M. Westmoreland at the
wicket in an attempt to stabilise things. And this they did, mixing solid
defence with the odd moo to leg. However, with the Mad score on 88, Martin
fell over his partner’s anchor attempting a quick single and was forced off
the field retired hurt (as if to justify his hypochondriac tag). Still,
whilst Hebbes remained at the crease, the Mad could still smell victory. T.
Mander (0) kept him company, A. Fisher (14) was great company, whilst A. Mann
(7) could have been better company. Unfortunately this all left the Mad on
127 for 9, 9 short of victory, and no one left to bat. Darn it. But before the OU Offices could begin their celebrations, a roar went
up from the Mad faithful as miraculously (ahem), M. Westmoreland was now
ready to rejoin the action (a slight scratch to his left index finger now not
so sore). And as the crowd and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi held their breath, the
Titanick (21*) and his skipper (31*) saw the FFTMCCC home with just one
wicket to spare. An excellent win. An excellent effort. Just a shame about that fucking
mural. * * * * - Maria Sharapova: sexy, glamorous and good
at tennis ** - Stella ‘Spam’ |
*
MOTM: Calypso’s
5-star all-round game
Champagne Moment: Calypso’s
amazing one-handed catch on the boundary
Buffet Award: Titanick
(despite taking 3 wickets)