Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

"Biffa The Bat Debut’s

In Shambolic Mad Collapse”

 

 

Thursday 27th May 2004

Result:  Lost by 26 Runs

Venue:  Cutteslowe Park

Twenty20 Match

East Oxford C.C

130 - 4

D. Jones  2 - 21,  A. Mann  1 - 16

FFTMCCC

104 ao

I. Howarth  46,  S. Dobner  30

 

 

 

On a sun blessed evening at Cutteslowe Park, East Oxford and the in-form Madsters assembled for some cricketing jousting Twenty20 style. Nature took it's course prior to proceedings, and whilst J. Hoskins continued his remarkable run of winning the toss, his understudies were seen to be making a beeline for the bushes to lower their water levels in preparation for battle.

 

The Mad decided to field first despite a shortage of numbers, and with J. Hotson arriving a very creditable 30 minutes late the game got underway. Or at least it would have if it weren’t for the confusion caused by a lack of stumps. Yep - despite both teams sporting bulging kit bags, they could in fact muster only 3 stumps between them – shambles - so the first few overs of the match were bowled rather comically from the same end. This situation was finally resolved after an SOS was answered by an injured M. Bullock, and a fresh set was delivered with panache and speed in a gleaming TVR.

 

 

Behold – the power of Biffa in the hands of Twinkle.

 

With the East trying to force the pace, it was A. Mann (1-16) who claimed the first breakthrough with a nice caught and bowled. This precipitated a double change in the bowling with both a reinvigorated S. Dobner, and a returning D. Jones being thrust in to the attack. Runs ebbed and flowed, but some smart fielding, including an excellent catch in the deep by the skipper, allowed Dylan to return to the fold with impressive figures of 2-21. Dobner, despite copping some increasing East aggression, finished with 1-26 thanks to Mann's impressive bucket-like paws pouching a spiraller at mid off.

 

The East upped their pace with overs dwindling, and with the captain elect (0-21) protecting his bowling figures, it was left to N. Hebbes (0-27) and I. Howarth (0-14) to bear the brunt of the East's latter over thrashing and watch the score propelled to 130 for 4 off their allotted supply of sausage rolls and egg flan.

 

So, the Mad required 131 for victory, and with a clear evening sky punctuated with little fluffy clouds, T. Mander and S. Dobner strode to the middle. Despite both players being shy of recent batting practice, they coped with the early burst from the Easters reasonably well - rotating the strike, hitting the ball into space, and keeping the fielders under pressure, and it wasn't until the scoreboard read 20 that the Doc (6) perished caught behind.

 

Next up came antipodean novelist A. Mann, his hefty paws sporting a virgin willow that would come be known as Biffa the Bat. This freshly moulded lump of wood was used to punch a backward defensive nurdle, but unfortunately the ball ballooned surreally all the way to a waiting extra cover. Mann and fellow teammates looked on in awe, but he still had to make the long walk back to the assembled kit-bags and empty beer cans pitch-side to reflect on his golden duck.

 

I. Howarth now joined Dobner at the crease, and with the Mad becoming steadily more aggressive in their approach, the score quickly progressed towards the East’s target. However, unknown to his compatriots, Dobner's energy levels were now registering critical on the knackered scale following 18 holes of golf earlier in the day – hardly ideal preparation when combined with a 150 mile round trip for a 20 over slogathon in the evening. So it was no surprise when an exhausted and dying Dobner (30) spooned some syrup to short leg after an increasing number of quick singles. Howarth, free from the constraints of running with a corpse now took up the baton with his Welsh sidekick, D. Jones. And after some impressive hitting, the Mad needed just 34 runs for a sterling victory.

 

Alas, Howarth (46) was to mow around a straight one with a handful of overs remaining instigating an all-too familiar collapse. From 97-3, the Mad slipped to 99-7 as a procession of disgruntled Madsters came and went without troubling the scorers. Things weren’t made any easier with the evening light now slipping behind the trees, but in all honesty, the tail didn’t so much wag as hang limply to be trodded on. Game over as they say, which all left J. Hotson marooned in the middle with his wicket intact on 2 not out.

 

All out for 104. Tut, tut, tut.

 

 

‘Spam’

 

 

 

 

 

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Statto's Scorecard

 

 

 

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