Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Eyewitness Reports

Concerning THAT Incident”

 

 

Sunday 12th September 2004

Result:  Lost by 7 Wkts

Venue:  The Baldons

35 overs

FFTMCCC

168 ao

I. Howarth  40,  A. Mann  34,  N. Hebbes  30

Baldons

172 - 3

I. Howarth  2 - 24

 

 

 

Thornton Smith, covers: “I didn’t see it at all, I was too busy searching the ground for magic mushrooms. My good man, why are you wearing an elephant?”

 

Matt Bullock, keeping: “Were there two sounds? I’m not sure. All I know is, they do a fine pint at the White Hart in Little Froghampton”

 

Steve Dobner, mid-on: “I thought it was Pooley from Wootton, so I just called the guy a fat fucking fuck.”

 

Doc, not there: “I wasn’t playing that day, but if I had been, no doubt I would have seen the whole thing.”

 

 

Isn’t Autumn in the Baldon’s lovely?

 

Ant, short fine leg: “There’s a great movie in this, it’s about a kid called Billy, he sees his Dad dispute an umpiring decision playing cricket, then when he grows up, he takes a shotgun and blows the heads off all the gophers living under the Baldons pitch.”

 

Andrew Morley, long on: “I was blind, so I didn’t see a thing. Can someone lend me a couple of quid for a can of extra-strength, then pour it down my throat for me as I lie semi-conscious in this gutter?”

 

James, rowing: “The guy is a real cox for playing a stroke like that anyway. He could have just paddled it away.”

 

Ian H, square leg boundary: “I’ve had only half an hour’s sleep. Did someone say something about cricket?”

 

Nick Hebbes, mid-off: “I’m pretty sure there were three noises, the ball hitting the pad, the umpire saying ‘Out’, and the batsman squealing like a tiny oinking hog.”

 

Graham Bridges, third man: “Surely, if he had been given out by the umpire, then he would have walked off without complaint! Did anyone see what happened?”

 

Ade, slip: “Look, this is pathetic, how much shite do you people have to write about a piffling little incident from a Sunday cricket match a whole bloody year ago?? Deal with it, okay? Get a fucking life and move on!”

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

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