Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Big Shock As Electricians Sparkle”

 

 

Sunday 14th August 2005

Result:  Lost by 27 Runs

Venue:  Pembroke College Sports Ground

40 overs

R. T. Harris

204 - 5

A. Mann  1 - 36

FFTMCC

177 - 6

D. Edwards  69,  M. Westmoreland  30

 

 

 

There was dancing in the streets of R. T. Harris last week when the cricket minnows pulled off one of the biggest shocks in recent sporting history. Only those who backed Greece to win Euro 2004 and West Brom to avoid the drop would have predicted such an outcome, and I imagine there were few such folk queuing at Ladbrokes on Monday morning to collect their winnings.

 

Such “David-over-Goliath” victories are often engineered by the underdogs by means of upsetting the routine of the favourites, and the R. T. Harrisiens set about upsetting the No-Mad’s tried and tested ways right from the off.  For a start, R. Allsworth, the RT Harris captain, appeared to be the only genuine electrician amongst the opposition, confirmed by his smart blue van in the car park, and yet the No-Mad were expecting, and had prepared for, a full eleven. The rest of his team included another possible sparky by the name of Bradley, somebody listed in the scorebook as “Mechanic” and eight others, many of whom were members of the Rana family, and a few were cricketing mercenaries who have played for countless other teams to have faced the No-Mad this season.

 

 

“What you fucking looking at?”

 

Nevertheless, the atmosphere was electric at Pembroke College Sports Ground when R. T. Harris rolled into town. The No-Mad had a strong team, and credit should be given to them for fielding at least one genuine Harris in their team, something the opposition could not do, though he too is no electrician.

 

The No-Mad did, however, pick a team with electrical experience to assist in the bid to overcome the sparkies: these included J. Hotson (advocate of cordless appliances), D. Edwards (professional strimmer), and M. Bullock (consumer of ignition coils) were all present, and, for balance, they also included a token plumber, I. Howarth (well acquainted with the water closet).

 

Genuine sparky Allsworth applied some mysterious electromagnetic force to the coin, forcing it to fall on tails, and having succeeded in defeating the previously undefeated Hoskins at the toss, chose to bat in dappled sunshine on a crazy-paving Pembroke pitch.

 

 

The No-Mad had much to ponder after R. T. posted their total.

 

The day began well for the No-Mad: the first of the Rana clan went cheaply to the experienced J. Hoskins (can change a plug, unaided), who unusually took the new ball, and his opening bowler partner M. Westmoreland (can change a light bulb, with help) who took the wicket of Nadeem - our own genuine Harris taking the catch.

 

J. Harris (8-1-38-1) dismissed another Rana, our resident strimmer (8-1-37-1) trapped Hamid leg before, and Ant “Rolf” Mann (8-2-36-1) took the wicket of the suspected electrician, before “Mechanic” (dropped) and D. Yousaf (dropped, twice) came to the crease, and between them added over a hundred runs undefeated to extend the RT Harris score to a more than respectable 204-5 from their allocated 40 overs.

 

It was during the interval that the electricians made their boldest attempt to upset Mad routine and custom. The accepted normality at tea has always been thus: the No-Mad occupy the window table, with the views and the sunshine and the triangular sandwiches, and the opposition sit on the other table, in a dingy and dark corner with square cut ham salads and just a few ancient sports team photographs for company. But on this day, our bold opponents stormed the pavilion whilst the Mad were crowding round the scorebook to see who had won the buffet award, and they were in total occupation of the sacred top table by the time any of their hosts were aware of the invasion. Despite an amicable swap of sandwiches to provide for the vegetarians and for those who have a preference for triangular over square, the home side were noticeably rattled, and it showed when they went out to bat.

 

 

“Check these birds out!”

 

Overlooked keeper G. Carter set about the bowling from the start, and made a quick eight, and his opening partner, kettle-expert J. Hotson made a slower but equally-valuable seven. The fall of Hotson brought D. Edwards to the crease, and he applied full concentration on making his self-appointed target of 75, eventually falling 6 runs short, and as a result, one run short of a mention in the role of honour on this excellent website. The plumber also made 7, but M. Westmoreland kept Edwards company for a while with a neat 30. There were contributions from M. Bullock (16), “Rolf” (21 not out) and “Live Wire” Morley (who remarkably manages to live without electricity in a garage, 4 not out), but the No-Mad fell a few good runs short of their target as Hoskins and our very own genuine Harris watched helplessly from the side lines. The electricians, such as they were, shared the wickets between them, Ahmed being the pick with 2-13.

 

And thus the cricketing upset was complete, and the history books will continue to record that R. T. Harris remain one of the few teams never to have been beaten by the No-Mad and their predecessors.

 

 

‘Beer Matt’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

MOTM:  D. Edwards for his solid knock of 69.

Champagne Moment:  M. Westmoreland’s one-handed catch

10 yards behind the boundary! (it went for 6)

Buffet Award:  M. “Bomber” Westmoreland’s vol-au-volts

 

 

 

(...back )