Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Bullish Bullock Defiant

After Bullying The Marlborough”

 

 

Sunday 21st August 2005

Result:  Won by 110 Runs

Venue:  Pembroke College Sports Ground

35 overs

FFTMCC

173 - 8

M. Bullock  35,  D. Edwards  29,  I. Howarth  24*

Marlborough House

63 ao

D. Edwards  2 - 0,  J. Harris  2 - 25

 

 

 

Asked after the match to explain his bullying tactics on the day, No-Mad stalwart M. Bullock, stated categorically “no opponent deserves an easy ride. The fact that our archenemies are but a pale shadow of their former selves is no excuse to lower your guard. Also, getting the game over in quick time allows us to nick off to the bar early. Sod ‘em.” With those words still reverberating around his team mates heads, Mr. Bullock screeched away from the Pembroke car park in his gleaming TVR - his passenger, one D. Jardine, delighted with his charges attitude to the game.

 

 

Another sun baked game to watch at Pembroke.

 

Sunday, August the 21st, was a gloriously hot and sunny day, so much so that regular No-Mad skipper, J. Hoskins, had opted instead to cox some ladies rowing teams by the Head of the River – and later to mix it up with the University luvvies over bubbly and volevants. He did, however, attempt to communicate with his team later in the evening via text messaging to enquire as to the result from the game (when guilt kicked in), but nobody was able to translate “hg it@s jAmer. Hmw did wee gdt om 2dax? Am pjs*&d racht up!” Another notable absentee for the day was the antipodean novelist, A. Mann, although he did at least provide some pitch side booing and sledging later in the day. His frustrations at missing a slice of cricketing action were noted when he was seen bowling a series of hostile bouncers from round the wicket at his 6 year old son, Zac, in the nets. Nice guys these Aussies.

 

 

Zac takes cover from his dad’s bouncers.

 

In the absence of Mr. Hoskins, the poisoned chalice of captaincy was passed on to I. Howarth, and after cleverly convincing his opposite number that in the best interests of cricket the No-Mad should bat first, he duly lost the toss and got his wishes. Marlborough skipper, M. Reeves, concurred with the notion that their batting line-up could be likened to a herd of rabbits, so opted to bowl first with the shiny red cherry on offer, and hoped the game may last beyond the realms of 4pm.

 

The No-Mad began their innings cautiously against the young Marlborough attack, and the innings was not more than 4 overs old when J. Hotson (3) edged a nice off-cutter to slip and said goodbye. M. Westmoreland (11) was also done by the opening attack, bowled, and when S. Dobner was caught for 8, and A. Morley bowled for 4 it was left to M. Bullock and new Madster, G. Carter, to usher the score along.

 

 

D. Edwards (centre) realises what a lucky escape he had joining the No-Mad ranks.

 

The score had progressed serenely to 87, when inexplicably G. Carter (7), awarded himself out after apparently gloving the ball down the leg-side. At the nod of the keeper, who had pouched the faintest of brushes, Geoff strode back to the pavilion without a glance to the umpire. This was cricketing chivalry of the highest order – a fine piece of sporting gentlemenness and a lesson to us all (Geoff would be subsequently fined for excessive humility at the fines committee). In fact, if you click on chapter 4, verse 5 relating to the Baldon’s encounter of last year, you will find the other end of the cricketing spectrum where some d*ckhead refused to leave the crease altogether despite clearly being out! Anyway, that episode is now forgotten, so we move on. (The w*nker!)

 

D. Edwards now joined the robust M. Bullock at the crease after firstly embracing every member of his old team in a passionate clinch, and they nudged and nurdled the score along without ever setting the place alight. Bullock (35) would eventually get out playing across the line after the scoring dropped, whilst Edwards (29) smacked a wide one into the gut of Marlborough skipper, M. Reeves. T. Smith came and went, too - this after promising some heavy hitting after demolishing the nets. He then fannied around for 8 balls before leaving for yet another duck. He was even appropriated a slow hand-clap prior to his dismissal - how the times have changed…. That left skipper I. Howarth (24*) and N. Hebbes (15*) to protect their averages and see the No-Mad to a respectful score of 173 for 8 off their allotted 35 overs. Their unbroken partnership of 43 from the last 5 overs of the innings thus secured them the No-Mad record partnership for the 9th wicket.

 

Tea.

 

 

“Gee, Mel – reckon my fella could ever bat?”

 

Not being the most daunting of totals to chase, it was soon proving Mount Everestic in size, as the Marlborough boys lost their openers to an opportunistic piece of fielding from J. Hotson, and a nice timber-rattling piece of bowling from N. Hebbes (4-1-10-1). Their skipper did offer some resistance, including a clubbing pull for six, but he struggled to find an ally in his quest for glory and wickets continued to fall apace. J. Harris enjoyed plenty of bounce and turn in returning figures of 7-1-25-2, whilst T. Smith (7-1-10-1) made up for his abject batting display by surprising all with his controlled off-spin including the prize scalp of M. Reeves (28) – bowled by a beauty.

 

Such was the shambles of the Marlborough batting, M. Bullock was even afforded a bowl – the first time in 7 years. And together with his runs, and a couple of catches, he duly disturbed the wood with his leggies to record figures of 2-0-10-1. It was then left to S. Dobner (3-0-5-1) and D. Edwards (1.1-1-0-2) to finally clean up the mess and leave the opposition all out for a paltry 63.

 

 

The rather pathetic looking total of the Marlborough….

 

Victory was ours. Victory was Bullock’s. But it all felt kinda hollow, as the spirit and ability which the Marlborough once had, was there no more.

 

* * *

 

Post Note:  It is with sadness to report that this was the last match contested between the Marlborough House and the No-Mad. The Marlborough would fold during the winter due to a lack of players and interest. On a positive – we nicked their best two players, and more were to follow….

 

 

‘Spam’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

MOTM:  M. Bullock’s 35, 1-10 and 2 catches!

Champagne Moment:  T. Smith’s ball of the century!

Buffet Award:  M. Bullock’s strawberry mouse

 

 

 

(...back )