Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“No-Mad Beaten

By The Green People Again”

 

 

Sunday 26th June 2005

Result:  Lost by 7 Wkts

Venue:  Pembroke College Sports Ground

40 overs

FFTMCC

150 - 5

D. Edwards  72*,  T. Smith  19

Lemmings

154 - 3

D. Edwards  1 - 7

 

 

 

There is no place like home – or that is what they say. Lords is the home of cricket, Madison Square Garden the home of boxing, Twickenham the home of rugby, Wembley the home of football when it is finally completed after a 247 year wrangle between incompetent sports ministers, and for the No-Mad, their home is most definitely the Pembroke College Sports Ground off the Abingdon Road. A wonderfully scenic pitch, flanked by towering trees and a nice little pavilion where the groundsman, Kev, readies himself with egg and mayonnaise sandwiches for the tea interval. It’s the kinda ground you miss over the cold, dreary months of winter – especially on miserable days when you gaze through your rain splashed windows lamenting the passing of summer. And I guess it was totally in keeping that the heavens saw fit to bless the place with sunshine and warmth as Pembroke hosted it’s first No-Mad game of the season against the might of the Lemmings. It was picture perfect if you will.

 

 

The No-Mad shelter from the sun by the pavilion.

 

After struggling with numbers in recent encounters, the No-Mad instead boasted a heavy artillery unit on this particular day. Even down to a 12th man scoreboard operator armed with Tennent’s Extra-Strength lager, and a home umpire ferried all the way from western Cornwall. Even wives and girlfriends of, made the effort – maybe something was in the air? Or maybe there was f*ck all else to do on this lazy afternoon?

 

 

Skipper, J. Hoskins, predictably won the toss - thus saving himself a fine, and predictably opted to ask the Lemmings to chase leather, on what appeared to be a pretty good day for batting: fine weather, and a nice hard track slightly browned at the edges after the recent heat wave. So it came as something of a surprise when openers I. Howarth and S. Dobner struggled against the vagaries of a pitch offering plenty of lift and movement for the Lemming’s attack. And after the score had limped to 10 without loss, Howarth (2) decided to use his thumb to hook a ball into the grateful hands of a waiting square leg. Things got worse for the No-Mad when Dobner (5) decided to escort a straight ball onto his timber without offering a shot in anger, and was quoted as he left the crease, adding “why the fuck did I do that?” His team mates remained baffled post-match as to his exact thinking at the time, but reasoned that maybe his wife had borrowed his car for the day?

 

 

The Lemmings celebrate after Westmoreland had his timber rumbled.

 

Ever the man for a crisis, and brandishing a willo* shorn of any action whatsoever this year, M. Westmoreland (4) came to the crease. He saw the total edge towards the lofty heights of 19 before he received possibly the ball of the day* - a ripper from J. Baker (5-0-15-3) which took his off stump. The No-Mad were now deep in the mire with 3 of their premier batsmen back in the hutch quaffing ale. It was at this point that D. Edwards and T. Smith forged a worthy 55 run partnership to restore some parity to the game. Smith (19), mixing some clubbing straight heaves with watchful defence, and Edwards, the most orthodox of our number, looked totally at ease, before Flash departed after edging behind to leave the No-Mad on 74 for 4. This quickly became 75 for 5 after N. Hebbes nicked a single and then toe-ended a catch to slip. Short and sweet as they say, or “a fine strike rate” as he was heard to quip (he would later be fined).

 

 

The No-Mad made a grim start after an early collapse.

 

Despite the wobbles around him, D. Edwards continued on his merry way, never in full flow, but happy to keep the scoreboard ticking over as he sought assistance from the other end. And that help came in the form of one J. Harris, fresh from his wicket-taking exploits the previous week. This time Calypso applied himself with the wood, and with the tempo increasing as the overs dwindled, the duo saw the No-Mad to a commendable 150 for 5 with some excellent running between the wicket – a healthy recovery considering the team’s perilous start to the innings. Edwards, red from his exertions, left the field with 72 not out to his name, and John, 17 not out. Their unbeaten partnership of 75 was just 7 runs shy of the No-Mad 6th wicket record.

 

               

 

Tea.

 

And the team’s did Kev’s buffet full justice by making clearances on both tables. There were a few crumbs, but nothing to write home about.

 

 

The Fines Committee would be having a say on the day’s shambles.

 

Slightly the heavier after their carnivorous exploits, the No-Mad took to the field in the hope of dismissing their green opponents for the first time in years. It didn’t happen. A. Mann (8-1-24-0) bowled well from the off, but got scant reward for the numerous balls that passed the outside edge, and N. Hebbes (6-0-30-1) was tidy, without ever being threatening. Martin (3-1-14-1) returned a scalp, as did Edwards (4-1-7-1), but the score continued to bound along regardless. The Lemmings upped their tempo as the game grew old, and fifties from Richardson (54) and Williams (57*) saw them home with nearly 4 overs to spare. The No-Mad had lost by 7 wickets, and had no cause for complaint really - their fielding had looked tired, their ideas looked short, and the Lemmings were… the better team on the day.

 

                       

 

Bloody Lemmings. Should just let them jump to their deaths off a nasty cliff face….

 

* * *

 

*  -  Umpire, N. Howarth, referred to the dismissal of M. Westmoreland post-match as being a “beauty, pitching in line, leaving him, and dusting him up.” One guesses Moo Boy’s luck must change soon….

 

 

‘Spam’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

MOTM:  D. Edwards for his 72* and wicket

Champagne Moment:  D. Edwards’ crazy wicket celebration

Buffet Award:  J. Harris’ strawberry soufflé

 

 

 

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