Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Mad Bandwagon Halted

As Flying-Ants Invade Pembroke”

 

 

Sunday 6th August 2006

Result:  Lost by 96 Runs

Venue:  Pembroke College Sports Ground

35 overs

Nomads of Swindon

220 - 7

M. Westmoreland  2 - 25,  I. Howarth  2 - 27

FFTMCC

124 - 9

G. Littlechild  47

 

 

 

At first it seemed like there was blossom being blown in the air. But then when do large oak trees start shelling blossom? Pretty soon it was like a snowstorm of the stuff – the skies absolutely full of this “blossom” as it floated in the wind around Pembroke College Sports Ground. But it wasn’t falling – no, this “blossom” was flying! And suddenly the cricketers of the FFTMCC and Nomads of Swindon would realise they were being engulfed by flying ants! Thousands upon thousands of these little fellas, all leaving their nests under Kev’s carefully prepared cricket strips to find a life somewhere else. Spectators (read 1 man and 2 dogs) had laughed as players flicked the air around their heads like deranged inmates at a local loony-bin, but as the cloud of these creatures gathered in volume, they too realised what was happening and started to duck for cover.

 

10 minutes later and they were all gone…. Weird. Horrible little bastards to be honest.

 

 

There was no blossom falling off the oak trees at Pembroke.

 

The sight of skipper I. Howarth hurling his “unlucky” 50 pence piece on the floor and leaving the field dejected was all the Mad required to realise they had been invited to field on another baking hot summer’s day. The track was as flat as a ballerina’s chest, and the Nomad’s of Swindon would make full use of it.

 

Last week’s impressive debut by D. Shorten (7-0-52-0) was in stark contrast to this, as the Nomadic opener’s gorged themselves on his suet pudding in reaching 50 without loss in rapid time. Veteran swingmeister, A. Mann (4-1-18-0) was perhaps unlucky to reap little rewards for his nagging length, and it wasn’t until the introduction of fellow left-armer, M. Reeves (5-0-31-1) that the Mad finally managed to snare a wicket. Unfortunately, runs continued apace, as M. Punslow (58) threw his wood at anything in his half of the pitch, and with luck favouring his bold approach, his compatriots adopted his style and saw the scoreline increase at a gallop.

 

Gardener D. Edwards (7-1-34-2) would bowl a decent line, with the ever-alert Barrow-Boy G. Littlechild collecting a neat stumping for his troubles. M. Westmoreland (4-1-25-2) would toil away including a wicket off the worst ball of the day – a waist-high jelly moose that Nomadster N. Preddy (34) slapped straight into the disbelieving hands of M. Reeves, and both A. Small (3-0-17-0) and I. Howarth (5-0-27-2) would try and apply some brakes to their opponents innings, with the latter claiming another superbly stumped victim by the broken-fingered, cockney-drawling U16 superstar from somewhere near the Watford Gap.

 

 

Sun beams into the Pembroke pavilion during the tea interval.

 

220 for 7 off 35 overs - real tight bowling, lads. Time for tea. And time to replenish the bath loads of body fluids left out on the parched Pembroke turf.

 

The Mad would not be dispirited in chasing down this total, after all they were coming off the back of a wonderful sequence which had seen them register 5 consecutive wins – so why not be positive in getting the runs required? However losing grinder D. Edwards for a duck, and allowing Nomad opening bowler Hussain the luxury of going for just 1 run off his first 4 overs wasn’t exactly on the agenda. And when M. Westmoreland (10) hoiked across the line and saw his stumps broken, and pinch-hitting part-time decorator A. Mann was pouched for 11 things were looking grim.

 

 

220 was a tall order for the Mad to chase.

 

M. Bullock (7) in partnership with the Essex-graduate G. Littlechild saw some sort of a recovery in reaching 71 for 3 - unfortunately the overs had continue to tick by as Bullock tried in vain to hit the skin off the pudding. Warnie was subsequently bowled whilst having a frustrated smear, so enter the captain to rescue the show. Before I. Howarth had even faced a ball, the Mad’s Watford U13 superstar showed the way as he danced down the wicket and smashed a half-volley past the Nomad bowler. Unfortunately for Gary, the ball zeroed in on his captain at the non-striker’s end and felled him after cracking against his elbow! This scene gave way to much laughter and japery from both sides as Howarth writhed around on the floor in agony. Jesus – Inzamam Ul-Haq demonstrates more agility in avoiding a cricket ball (or his own stumps)! Nevertheless, Howarth left the pitch in pain, 0 not out, after facing 0 balls, and played no further part in the game – and as far as a captain’s innings was concerned, it could be likened to being about as much use as a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy bollocks.

 

What realistic hope there was now left for the Mad quickly evaporated when Cockney wide-bwoy G. Littlechild was bowled for a doughty 47 soon after. With the run-rate having spiralled to nearly 10 an over, it was left to the tail to conjure up some escapology – alas Houdini had left the building some hours ago. A. Cavannagh (8) was bowled, J. Hotson (3) ran out, D. Shorten completed a miserable day whilst being caught for a duck, and A. Small likewise after an enterprising 10. This all left Botley Boy M. Reeves (7*) content to protect his average as the Mad were stranded on 124 for 9.

 

 

Time to pack up and sod off after the Nomads end the Mad winning streak.

 

There would be no reintroduction of the skipper, and there would be no 6th straight win for the Mad on this day in which they had been beaten comprehensively by a Nomad team who were willing to throw caution to the wind. If only the coin toss had been different?

 

Just like Barcelona beating Arsenal in the Champions League final, and Oldham winning 2 games on the spin in 1924, all good things must come to an end.

 

 

‘Spam’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

MOTM:  G. Littlechild’s 47 and 2 stumpings

Champagne Moment:  M. Reeves’ 1st wicket & G. Littlechild’s stumpings

Buffet Award:  D. Shorten’s suet pudding

 

Hat Lore:  People are wearing baseball caps whilst batting these days

 

 

 

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