Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Neo Shines
As OUP Are Caught Out”
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Sunday 30th
July 2006 |
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Result: Won by 92 Runs |
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Venue: Jordan Hill |
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40 overs |
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FFTMCC |
211 - 7 |
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G. Littlechild 73,
N. Hebbes 28 |
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OUP |
119 - 9 |
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D. Shorten 3 - 16,
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“Brilliant!” “Amazing!” “Astounding!” “Phenomenal!” “Unreal!” “Truly awesome,
dude!” Those are just some
of the words that were directed at the Mad’s rusting * * *
The July of 2006 was just baked
in sunshine. Another glorious day
in a wonderful month for weather saw Jordan Hill swamped by travelling No-Mad
players and spectators alike. A quick head-count would reveal 27 members of
the Edwards clan, 16 Dobner’s and Barrow Boys, 2.5 Westmoreland’s, 1 pike, 1
stonehead, 1 captain’s piece, a scouser, a bird who liked the scouser, an old
couple nobody knew but who seemed friendly enough if you poured them some
coffee, and a few tennis players who flirted from court to boundary line. It
was a real crowd with packed terraces, and the noise was deafening when D. Edwards and
superman M. Westmoreland would front the Mad innings, and with the pitch
displaying alarming signs of bounce early on, they proceeded to a partnership
of 47 before Moo (16) was caught on the drive, and on his return to the
pavilion immediately threatened his retirement from the game due to missing
out on another century. Edwards (28) fell soon after after dragging one on,
and he returned to the
Hands up if you think the
skipper’s batting order is shit. There would now
follow a passage of play whereby England keeper G. Jones (nickname G.
Littlechild or Neo for short) and happy go-lucky cheesester N. Hebbes laid
the foundation for the would-be slog-fest that resulted later in the innings.
Mixing stout defence and the odd swish into vacant spaces, they added 94
before Hebbes (28) inexplicably gave himself out hit wicket after the OUP
were flummoxed as to how a bail had been dislodged. Whilst the Paper Pressing
Boys lauded the frigates excellent sporting conduct, his team mates were less
generous and some were heard to call him a fumb duck. Nick’s dismissal
was quickly followed by that of an out-of-sorts A. Cavanagh for 1, which
would bring the skipper to the crease. After instructing the mercurial G.
Jones to see it through, he was slightly surprised to see his keeper swish
across the line and leave for an excellent knock of 73 (finally Neo had got
past the nervous 20’s that had blighted his season thus far). Barrow Boy
Golden Child done good. It was all now left
for the late order cowboy show to roll into town (“hurrah” shouted the crowd
in Twenty20 mode with the music blaring from the speakers and baby Molly
being slung in the air once more). Howarth hoiked and cowed his way to a
merry 27, S. Parkinson mooed an agricultural 10, and S. Dobner and A. Mann
protected their averages with robust scores of 1 and 0 not out respectively,
all which left the FFTMCC on an impressive 211 for 7 from their allotted
overs.
“Any point me knocking this in?
Batting number ten and all that….” Tea, and not a bad
spread at all, with the egg flan particularly appealing. The half-time
entertainment would be provided by the Cob Brothers (Stevie D and Stevie P),
who exchanged the usual verbal sparring and barbed remarks concerning each
other’s inability to avoid cobbing. There was no defining winner in this
duel, but Mincer would later lay a marker down in the field whilst bowling…. With the sun slowly
disappearing behind the clouds the OUP innings began against a much-vaunted No-Mad
attack. S. Parkinson bowled with his customary nip and accuracy and would
realise figures of 8-4-19-1 (including a 2nd spell cob for
persistent crap down leg side), whilst the grim-thought harbouring
antipodean, A. Mann, had the OUP skipper (ironically named R. Mann – long
lost cousins?) scratching around before he gave Ant a casual caught and
bowled. I say casual, as that is the manner in which
Postcard perfect – the view towards the Jordan Hill pavilion. The Paper Boys had
made 37 before the next stunning catch occurred. This time it was far less
casual and the type that sticks in your head long after the game has
finished. S. Dobner (8-0-22-3), bowling with his new found zeal, found the
edge of Bowell’s bat and saw the 882 feet 8 inch R. M. S. Titanick somehow
turn starboard and pouch the ball one-handed at first slip! Pure reflexes,
and quite how anyone with a gross tonnage of 46,328 tons and a top speed of
23 knots could react so quickly was staggering. The horns subsequently
sounded on the vessel and ticker tape rained down on the party. Great stuff.
The champagne would later be smashed against his hull to mark the event. Debutant D. Shorten (7-1-16-3)
would now demonstrate his impressive accuracy in bowling seam up, and it was
all far too much for a below-par OUP as they succumbed to 65 for 8.
Unfortunately, this would signal a tepid last hour or so of the match,
whereby the Paper Boys, unable to overhaul the Mad total, would try and bat
the overs out (maybe to preserve some dignity – and why the hell not?) This
they accomplished despite the twirlings of J. Hoskins (7-1-24-0) and the
apple and custard pies D. Edwards (2-0-15-0) was tossing down, who both
failed to induce the obdurate Halls and Mills into any rash slogging. 40
overs complete, and with the crowd now safely tucked up in bed, the OUP left
the field under a star-filled sky with 119 to their name. The FFTMCC had
registered their 5th consecutive win by a resounding 92 runs and
one wonders just how good they have actually become? I would say we are
casually brilliant, dude.
Sun, booze and cricket – it don’t get much better on a Sunday. * * * Quote of the Day:
“Fannies!!” - S. Parkinson exclaiming a degree of dissatisfaction in his own
bowling after aiming 10 feet wide of leg stump at the tailenders. ‘Spam’ |
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No
Fines on this day |
MOTM: D.
Shorten’s 3-for on debut
Champagne Moment: N. Hebbes’
memorable slip-catch
Buffet Award: D. Edwards’
holy custard tarts
Hat
Lore: Many
hats are falling off heads whilst running