Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Mad Forced To Watch

The Director’s Cut”

 

 

Sunday 4th June 2006

Result:  Lost by 7 Wkts

Venue:  University Club (Oxford)

40 overs

FFTMCC

184 ao

G. Littlechild  41,  I. Howarth  27

Oxford University Offices

185 - 3

I. Howarth  1 - 15,  A. Mann  1 - 16

 

 

 

In a repeat showing of the previous year, at the University Club last Sunday the Mad found themselves obliged to watch as the same old story unfolded before their eyes. Said Mad skipper and film buff I. Howarth after the game, “We’re getting sick of watching the same thing over and over again. Everyone likes a bit of variety, and I think audience figures will show that, when it comes to our games against the Offices, there is a great need for an alternative ending.” On this occasion at least, to underscore the usual dull clichés, proceedings mid-story were enliven by the introduction of a new character, the Director, whose thematic interpretations of the main themes of the afternoon were significant, and who will long be remembered by those who saw him hit the crap out of the Mad’s bowling attack in a critically acclaimed way.

 

 

The swanky new background to the University Club.

 

Winning the toss at the University Club, pretty as a picture, with the sun beating down on a hard pitch and firm outfield begging for boundaries, where the shiny new conference centre and bar stands as testament to the oodles of money washing around somewhere at least, big splashy pools of liquid green that someone not me has managed to sink their greedy little hands into, Far From The MCC captain I. Howarth elected to bat.

 

 

Opener I. Howarth (27) lays a solid foundation for the Mad.

 

It mostly went swimmingly. N. Hebbes (6) departed early after the customary controversial lbw decision, but then I. Howarth (27) and G. Littlechild (41) settled into a productive partnership of 70, which provided the platform for useful contributions down the order. M. Bullock kept up his early season form with a handy 15, and M. Westmoreland made a handy 20. S. Dobner chipped in with a useful 20 as well before being handily run out backing up, while a handy 2 from S. Parkinson preceded a useful 15 n.o. from T. Smith, finding the middle of the bat for the first time in two seasons. Handy ducks from J. Hotson and J. Hoskins left the way open for A. Mann (16) to smack a useful four boundaries from five deliveries before holing out in the final over. Boon for UO topped the bowling figures with 4-44, while new man ‘The Director’ Roycroft bamboozled his way to 2-25. Joe Organ (2-36) picked up a brace with his fast and accurate seamers. Special mention also for A. Cavanagh of the Mad, who came straight from searching for conches and winkles on the beach to turn out for the Offices, took two catches, dropped another, and was generally surly and abusive to anyone who tried to engage him in harmless banter from behind the boundary rope.

 

 

M. Bullock (15) cuts the ball away.

 

But fairy tales are for fairies, and in retrospect, with hindsight, looking back on it now, 184 was never going to be enough. The UO lads romped home with overs and wickets to spare. Though Darley (5) went early clean bowled to the probing A. Mann (5-0-16-1), a huge f*cking black cloud then appeared in the sky and emptied it’s sodding guts all over Oxford. When the cloud buggered off and players returned to the field, the ball was a frigging sponge and the pitch was as flat as a bull dyke’s chest. Though Howarth soon brought on J. Hoskins (5-0-30-1) to slow the ball down, there was no stopping Director Roycroft, veteran of a higher standard than this, who hit 58 without raising a sweat before retiring to nurse a bogus injury and give the other guys a chance. Douglas opening hit 32, Blakey 36, and Organ remained on 32 not out. For a while, the Mad in the field felt like nothing so much as animals confined in a closed environment and subjected to a strange form of torture. (Note topical reference to animal research facility being built adjacent to University Club Ground). But soon enough it was over: I. Howarth (2-0-15-1) grabbed one at the end, but by and large bowling was a damp and thankless job, especially for the luckless M. Westmoreland (4-1-17-0) who found the edge 43 times in his spell of four overs.

 

After the game, umpired by the generous A. Fisher on a day off from his punishing chess schedule, the Mad went back to The Magdalen Arms to fine each other for being shite, accompanied by several of the Offices lads, always welcome and ever friendly. S. Dobner, however, went instead back to Stevenage to hang around waiting to be a Dad, and two days later, that very thing came to pass.

 

 

Amie D missed out on being born on 6/6/2006 (thank god!)

 

Congratulations to Steve and Kim on the birth of Amie Iris Rose, 12.21 pm, 7th June 2006, 6lb 9oz, by whose arrival we are once again reminded that there are more important things than winning. Though winning is nice too.

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

MOTM:  G. Littlechild’s 41 and sound keeping display

Champagne Moment:  M. Westmoreland’s energetic sliding boundary stop

Buffet Award:  N. Hebbes’ chicken and rice salad

 

Hat Lore:  There are as yet no hats – bring sun block

 

Fruit Inspector:  Cherry, Melon and then Walnut

 

Births:  Amie Iris Rose Dobner, to Steve and Kim

 

 

 

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