Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Crèche Facility a Hit

As Mad Start on Winning Note”

 

 

Sunday 22nd April 2007

Result:  Won by 2 Wkts

Venue:  East (or West?) Hanney

35 overs

Hanney CC

129 ao

D. Shorten  3 - 17,  I. Howarth  2 - 6

FFTMCC

133 - 8

I. Howarth  36,  M. Westmoreland  20

 

 

 

The sun shone brightly on the first day of the Mad’s 2007 season, as players and their families convened at the Black Horse in East Hanney to ponder the gulf between East and West, and whether a place called simply Hanney actually existed, and if not, then why the host team that day was called simply Hanney and not East or West. The ground itself was a picture, not one of those weird Jackson Pollock ones with squiggly lines and stuff, but a nice picture that didn’t make your brain hurt with trees and allotments, and cute little rabbits and squirrels popping their heads up from the middle of the pitch.

 

 

Del Trotter banged out “out-of-date” contraband down the local.

 

As the game began and the Mad players settled down to 35 action-packed overs of high class cricket, the wives and their youngsters took advantage of the Mad Crèche which had been set up on a blanket near the clubhouse, a safe place for babies and young children to play while their fathers conducted more important business out on the field. Young Daniel Westmoreland got busy counting up all the things that he could find, then putting them into a small steel box that he had been given by his proud father. “He’s very good with numbers,” said mother Mel, “though we have noticed that when he tries to stand up, he does tend to fall over to one side in particular. His favourite bath toys are his ducks. In fact he has several of them already.”

 

 

Steve’s tales of football violence went down a storm with the kids.

 

Several were on hand to witness the first words of little Amie Dobner, including doting mother Kim. Amie, who was collecting up all the toy shopping trolleys and pushing them around, happened to bump into wee Daniel Westmoreland, then turned on him and shouted angrily, “Car park! Car park!” Meanwhile, little Eve Shorten, daughter of Dave, had brought her toy blocks with her and was busy building an extension onto the side of the clubhouse, while Dan and Clare’s Molly toddled around with a toy chainsaw, lopping the heads off dandelions. As for Libby and Florence Hadfield, at one point they went missing, then people thought they spotted them, but it turned out to be someone who looked just like them, then they turned up safe and sound. “They like ducks too,” said their mother Jane. After the game had finished, all the children were sick everywhere after eating and drinking too much, though there’s nothing to say that any of them will turn out to be anything like their fathers.

 

* * *

 

 

“I said – you run me out again, and you’re DEAD!!”

 

Winning the toss and agreeing to field, the Mad year began auspiciously with a wicket first ball for S. Parkinson (6-0-16-2) to a fine catch by D. Shorten in the slips. Parkinson looked in good shape and got the rewards, though A. Mann (6-1-28-0) was a little off the pace at the other end. Despite catching the edge once or twice, his ponytail seemed to be weighing down the back of head, and he had logistical trouble threading all his frigging hair through his cap. After going for six off his first ball, S. Dobner (3-0-20-1) threatened to chunter, but then pulled it back nicely and took the key wicket of M. Pearse for 20. Pick of the bowlers, however, was D. Shorten (7-1-17-3). Hanney had no answer to his fast inswingers, delivered at the peak of a slow-motion hang with the turf far below. Shorten missed a hat trick by a whisker, but destroyed the middle order and left it to skipper I. Howarth (3-1-6-2) to toy with the tail. Howarth was in good touch and hardly bowled any deliveries at the batmen’s heads. N. Hebbes (5-0-20-2) looked good too with his skiddy seamers that left the right-handers, and M. Westmoreland (3-1-10-0) was unlucky not to strike with his late swing. M. Bullock, after a punishing off-season fitness regime, took two catches in the field, while G. Littlechild made it look easy as usual, standing up to the medium pacers and taking yet another sharp stumping chance. D. Belprey (39) and K. Dixon (15) stood out for Hanney, but in the end they could manage only 129.

 

 

Hanney practice karate during the off-season.

 

The Mad might have expected to knock off the runs with ease, but made hard work of it in the end. G. Littlechild (9) went early, then M. Westmoreland (20) soon followed, with some choice words of advice to the punky guy who had dismissed him. There was attitude everywhere after that. R. Hadfield (1) did well to appreciably improve on his total run tally of 2006, but M. Bullock (3) would have been disappointed. Captain I. Howarth (36) and former coolie M. Clarke (19) set about rebuilding towards victory, but when Howarth went bowled to a jaffa from Harrison, the result was once again in the balance. With Clarke goaded by his own skipper umpiring at square leg into dancing down the wicket into a stumping, and N. Hebbes (6) and S. Dobner (0) also failing, there was nothing for it but for S. Parkinson (19 n.o.) to flay the Mad to victory, while a jittery D. Shorten (5 n.o.) watched from the other end. A. Mann did not bat.         

 

 

All in all, then, a child-friendly start to the season.

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

Statto's Scorecard

Match Fines

 

 

MOTM:  S. Parkinson’s fine all-round display

Champagne Moment:  S. Parkinson’s wicket with first ball of season

Buffet Award:  S. Dobner’s caramel tarts

 

 

 

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