Far From The Madding Crowd

Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

“A Jerk In The Time Space Continuum

Dissects Match Report

And Delays Howarth’s

Sizzling Century Celebrations”

Sunday 12^th August 2007
Result: Lost by 5 Wkts
Venue: Pembroke
35 overs
FFTMCC	174 - 8
I. Howarth 112, J. Hoskins 16
Wootton & Boars Hill	175 - 5
A. Fisher 2 - 21

SNAP

Morler’s would be asked to judge James’ match report on it’s poetic content.

Life of a coin

1998: Minted - 50p - not your copper crap

Future ahead of me

Visions of Grandeur - maybe I’d make up that .99 of an Aston Martin Vantage

Or a house even

Everyone needs the .99

1999: Used as change in a pier-side fruit machine in Blackpool

Stacked

For Years

In a tube

A plastic tube

2003: Won by a Chav – Jackpot I will have you know

2003: Used by a Chav buying RIZLA papers in Tesco

2003: Some Barrow Boy “Change this up love, playing pool with the lads tonight”

Never even made it to the pool table

It cost a quid

Spent Four Years on a bedside table

A Pine bedside table

2007: “We need more baby puree – grab some change – there, on the table, we can get it on the way to the game”

It cost a quid

“Who’s got a coin? And it better be lucky”

Tossed

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - life at last

Blood rushing to my Queen’s head

Crash to the ground

How can ‘I’ be wrong – it wasn’t my fault?

Thrown

Into a wood

Near a railway line

Awaiting climate change, global warming, planetary meltdown and rebirth of the human race – 20,000 years or so – ho hum

Stacked, Spent, Changed, Tossed, Unused, Discarded, Waiting

It’s tough being a coin – it wasn’t even MY fault.

Rate that Morlers.

* * *

I. Howarth (112) practices his forward defensive.

SNAP

[Coin]

The toss was won, for a change. Still waiting. On my own.

SNAP

[Howarth]

I’m sure I must be near

Titanick and I put on 56 (N. Hebbes fine display of leg sweeps 12) and I didn’t hang about

Hoskers came in, and despite facing the Shoab of Wootton and Boars Hill he actually played some half decent shots (J. Hoskins 16)

I didn’t hang about

Did they clap the fifty. Shit, am I even on fifty?

I’m not bloody asking. The c***s will only fine me.

SNAP

[Bullock]

Hmmmm…there might be something odd here

I don’t know what he’s on - hold on

Was that a bye?

SNAP

[Edwards]

Duck, bowled by Crapper

This is gonna cost. (D. Edwards 0)

SNAP

[Bullock]

I love keeping wicket

Not quite sure what happened with the scoring

Note to self – check out CAMRA pubs in Eastbourne

I don’t know what Spam is on – too late now.

D. Edwards (right) tallies up his runs for the day….

SNAP

[Howarth]

Sod ‘em

Can’t even be bothered to clap – C***S! (I. Howarth 112)

[Carter]

Well I didn’t actually think I’d get a bat with Edwards and Howarth at the crease

I hope my car is still there. (G. Carter 7)

[Fisher]

Bowler Fisher? Fisher Bowler? Batter Fisher? Fish Batter?

Whichever way I look at it, it’s a fine

Self importance

I invented it

Live the dream. (A. Fisher 11*)

[Clarke]

Great

Two games

Two days

One weekend

One run

But I took a wicket yesterday

Castled – did I tell you? (M. Clarke 0)

[Bullock]

It was a bye

I don’t even like scoring. (M. Bullock 1)

[Morley]

It’s like the red arrows round here. (A. Morley 0)

M. Clarke (golden) de-pads after a mammoth contribution to the Mad innings.

SNAP

[Kev]

Ode to the red onion

Red onions are cool

Red onions rule

Red onions go with everything

Red onions make my heart sing

Was I just Kevved?

SNAP

[Shorten]

Twenty bloody nine batting number nine

What more do I have to do?