Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Allan Donald and an 11yr Old
Scupper Hotson’s Dreams of
Grandeur”
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Monday 20th
August 2007 |
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Result: Lost by 30 Runs |
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Venue: |
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35 overs |
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136 ao |
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A. Mann 2 - 5,
M. Reeves 2 - 14 |
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FFTMCC |
106 - 9 |
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I. Howarth 28,
N. Hebbes 22 |
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T. Smith and I.
Howarth sat on the Eastbourne seafront and gazed out to the grey and wet
skies that hung over the smudged horizon; a bottle of Lucozade and a can of
coke clasped to their mouths as they strived manfully to shift a morning
hangover.
A nondescript view of the “Hey, here comes ole
Big head” prompted Smith, as a shuffling figure in three-quarters and
flip-flops came into view from behind a copse of trees. “Morning guys” said
Reeves, as he sat on the stone beach wall. “I’m confused. I think I’ve drank
far too much this weekend.” “Ha ha” giggled Howarth sarcastically, “you must
have really enjoyed your first Mad tour?” Countered Mike “Yeah, it’s
been really special…. Not playing on Friday after being picked and
then dropped after you two guys fucked the draw up; having no cricket on
Saturday and drinking all day; having the game rained off yesterday so I was
reduced to hitting a tennis ball in a park, and then being chased about with
a kid with a water pistol; and today… jesus, I really can’t be arsed.” Smith
and Howarth nodded sympathetically as Reeves continued “but even playing no
cricket and coming down here to rot my brain cells all weekend, has to
be better than sitting on a muddy carpet in my home in Botley, and staring at
the brick walls surrounding me where the water levels reached…. Shit, did I
tell you about my car breaking down in * * *
“Ha ha. Us – opening? Ha ha. Jake’s a twat,
isn’t he?” After a thoroughly
disorganised journey through jams and packed A-roads, a convoy of Mad cars
eventually arrived at Worthing’s homage to the Cowley Marshes in After nominated
captain for the day J. Hotson allegedly won the toss, he invited N. Hebbes (5-0-23-1)
and M. Reeves (4-1-14-2) would then slow the opponents innings, and only
The Mad would make a great start to their run
chase…. It has to be said
that the standard of cricket teas on tour was excellent, and When it came to bat,
Mr. Hotson was confronted with a wave of lethargy in the Mad ranks when it
came to sorting out the batting order. Said Bullock “hmm, I’m not sure about
opening, I’m the Chairman you know – I have other responsibilities and I need
to concentrate my mind.” Martin and Ian chipped in that they were “happy for
other players who hadn’t seen much action to get a turn” and were “not overly
bothered”, and instead argued over who got to bat last and prop a plastic
chair up on the boundary. In the end, Jake ruled on a reversed batting order
of sorts; with various bowlers being divided into various batting pools, and
the pools being divided into pools that were not divisible by the number 15.
Mike (with bat) takes guard 5 feet outside
leg stump. What nobody from the
FFTMCC knew at the time was just how quick the 16yr old South African
opening bowler who fronted the Once the slip cordon
had stepped back some 20 to 30 yards, a backstop had been introduced by the
boundary edge, and a quivering M. Reeves played and missed half a dozen
times, the grim realisation of facing a genuine quick on a dirt-track with no
sightscreens and crap weather became apparent. M. Bullock (0), who had been
laughing at Mike’s ducking and weaving from the non-striker’s end, would then
see his stumps smashed to pieces and his brief innings brought to a violent
end. J. Hoskins (4) did squirt a boundary off the precocious Strackher, but 2
balls later he was caught by a diving 8th slip and left shaking
his head. G. Carter’s introduction to the line of fire was even shorter; as
he trudged back lbw after his front leg was broken in sixteen places after
being rapped on the pad. Whilst this carnage was taking place, shell-shocked
batsmen Reeves (5) and A. Mann (1) departed at the other end to leave the
visitors floundering on 19 for 5; and suddenly the Mad’s lowest score in
history became a distinct possibility.
Skipper J. Hotson is bemused by M. Strackher’s
slip cordon. Enter Mad Skipper
for the day J. Hotson to hopefully restore order. After watching Straker fizz
a couple past his stumps, Jake was elated to see his Worthing counterpart opt
to take the young South African tearaway out the attack and persevere with
more friendly bowling. Together with T. Smith (14), the pair succeeded
in passing the Mad’s previous lowest total before Smith clubbed one too many
to cow corner and was caught. N. Hebbes now accompanied Hotson (12) until the
skipper claimed the unenviable record of being dismissed by the youngest ever
bowler by a Mad batsman - the 11 years and 248 day old trundling A. J. Wood.
Now that was funny – ha ha ha. The Mad tail then
wagged, and so it should have, since the usual top-order had sat pitch-side
earlier watching the tragedy of this innings unfold with tears in their eyes.
Alas, the
“Nick – did you know you had 4 arms? You
freak.” So that was it. The
Mad were all out for 106 and the spoils of victory were went to More of the same
next year we hope. Albeit with rather less 80mph yorkers on the final day of
the tour…. * * * * -
Sport is as much a mental battle as a physical one - so if an
athlete's confidence goes, it can seriously affect their performance. In
extreme cases, the basic things seem impossible and no matter how talented
you are, the psychological barrier can be impossible to break down. The
condition is known as "the yips", but exactly what causes it
remains a mystery.
** - The pink PVC tour hat became the possession
of the last Mad player to drop a catch (so it was passed around quite a lot
then). ‘Spam’ |
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No
Fines on this Day |
MOTM: M. Reeves’
2 catches and 2 wickets
Champagne Moment: M.
Bullock’s slip catch
Buffet Award: M.
Westmoreland’s dairy banquet