Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“History Rewritten
As Titanick Delivers Safely”
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Sunday 17th
June 2007 |
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Result: Won by 1 Wkt |
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Venue: Holton |
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35 overs |
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R. T. Harris |
117 ao |
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J. Hoskins 4 - 24,
D. Edwards 2 - 18 |
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FFTMCC |
118 - 9 |
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M. Westmoreland 29, N. Hebbes
22* |
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Since the dawn of
FFTMCC time, no matter where they play in the country it has so been decreed
that the pleasant pastime of Sunday cricket should be accompanied by some
form of human flight. To stay within this strange tradition yet again a
FFTMCC cricket match was supported by an air show. To quote an old Captain it
really was like the Red Arrows out there on this Sunday afternoon, only they
weren’t Red Arrows – they were Euro Fighters (yes, Ade is back). There is
only one thing rarer than a formation of Euro Fighters parading the
Oxfordshire countryside – and that is an Electrician in an R.T. Harris
cricket team. Yes it was the turn of the toaster repairmen to host the * * *
Another beautiful June day for cricket…. Play commenced at
the convenient time of 15:07 which was fine – after all, the As per usual our
skipper lost the toss and we were sent out into the field for our sins onto a
wicket which resembled a giant loofah sponge covered in algae. The bowling
started with gusto as S. Parkinson (7-2-26-0) and D. Shorten (7-4-7-0)
hammered in some good length balls to have the opening batsman frowning,
ducking and diving for cover as the new ball sunk into the pitch and sprung
up at them at all sorts of angles. Despite the consistent line and length
pursued by both bowlers somehow the wickets did not fall early. But the
pressure was on the Electricians right from the start as they were kept to a
miserly 33 runs in the first 14 overs – supreme economical work from the
opening bowlers.
“I should sponsor this shit – Blocker’s Sun Block, dude.” First change saw the
familiar strike partnership of A. Mann and J. Hoskins come to the fore with
an unnerving spark of confidence about their gaits. The scene really was set
by the opening bowlers as Ditta and Dotta for the Electricians sensed they
needed some runs and needed them quick. This was nothing but good news for
the new bowling partnership and it wasn’t long before Hoskins struck to send
both opening batsmen back to the hutch to go wire some plugs. Mann (7-1-16-1)
quickly followed with a fusing delivery after which it was plain sailing for
the bowling attack – once those electricians start arguing amongst themselves
it really is all over. Hoskins pulled off the miracle of a career best 4
wicket haul for 24 helped with yet another stunning diving turning whooping
slip catch from Titanick, followed up with classic wizardry from the
Spellcaster (3-0-18-2) and S. Dobner with some teasing bouncers to scare off
the tail end. Immaculate keeping from He Whom Stays Young (has he been fined
for that yet?) literally made sparks fly from the bails to gather two
stumpings which arguably should have been three – the line after all, is
his. The Electrician’s score stuttered to 117-8 after the allotted 35
overs. So just 118 required
for our first victory against R.T. then – piece of cake…. and very nice cakes
they were too. Shame they couldn’t fix the kettle.
The Mad openers left the crèche for the
crease (top right). The MAD openers
started off with gusto, spraying the ball around the park like the bouncy
castle of a wicket did not exist, and after the openers, G. Littlechild (12)
and M. Westmoreland (29) both treated the bowlers with utmost disrespect, and
indeed following pair D. Edwards (16) and I. Howarth (13) struck up a
convincing 75-2 the easy win seemed inevitable – the on looking team-mates on
the boundary stuffed more and more cakes down their gullets and started to
pack up the kit bag. But of course it is never that simple where the MAD are
concerned is it? The Skip sand wedged
one up into waiting arms and then followed a duck from the Big Headed one and
a cob from the Cobby (10) one – this time dispatching half his kit into
neighbouring gardens and watching the rest of the game from a neighbouring
county. S. Dobner (2) followed in quick succession and Hang Time (1) didn’t Hang
around for long (must have a match report to write?) and by the time tail
ender J. Hoskins (2) had entered the fray they had bought their Shoaib Akhtar
back on and all hell broke loose. 102-9 – surely the MAD couldn’t throw this
one away?
But wait – amid all
the turmoil of crashing wickets a steady ship remained. Funnels gleaming,
engines roaring through the mist of flying bails Titanick proudly held his
bat aloft. Each time an incoming batsman strode to the crease advice was
proffered and each time every batsman totally ignored the advice and strode
pretty much straight back to the hutch…. apart from one. Like a blast from
the past Blocker A. Mann (0*) held fast. The MAD still had 7 overs to
get the last 15 runs no panic cried Titanick – “Block away and ye
shall deliver” was the instruction. Block after Block
and the tension rose 13 off 6, 10 off 5, 8 off 4, 6 off 3, 2 off 1……. we
practice this in the nets all the time…. granted it’s usually runs off balls
instead of overs, but the nets are where the games are won….
Most of the Mad players agree Stevie P should
be in a fucking circus. After 19 of the best
Blocked balls in the history of the MAD, Titanick (22 n.o.) drove the
ball through the covers off the penultimate ball to steer the MAD home to
what surely must be one of the most tense victories of all time. The fuse has been
blown at last – R.T. Harris will join the ranks of beaten bogey teams and the
question must be asked – is this a neon sign of times to come? ‘Stan’ |
*
MOTM: N. Hebbes’
match winning knock
Champagne Moment: N. Hebbes’
diving catch
Buffet Award: D. Edwards’
strawberry gateaux