Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Billy Bats For The Bods

As The Bods Are Battered”

 

 

Sunday 3rd June 2007

Result:  Won by 10 Wkts

Venue:  Stratfield Brake, Kiddlington

35 overs

Bodleian

101 ao

D. Shorten  2 - 14,  M. Westmoreland  2 - 11

FFTMCC

102 - 0

I. Howarth  59*,  M. Westmoreland  38*

 

 

 

There is reportedly a network of tunnels beneath the town of Oxford so cavernous and vast that, if one million librarians were to lie down head to toe, they still wouldn’t reach the labyrinth’s end. This rabbit warren of dark nooks and corners is reputed to house a copy of every book ever printed in the entire history of the solar system, as well as many of their authors, preserved in giant jars of alcohol and suspended from the ceilings in long macabre rows. This is the Bodleian Library, famous throughout the world, ninety-seven subterranean levels across six thousand acres, seventeen billion miles of corridor, ninety-six thousand flickering light bulbs, forty-four trillion books, seventy-nine thousand million academic journals, three billion tons of dust, twelve comic books, a stale sandwich in a paper bag, a pencil, a broken coffee machine, and an old woman with spidery hands and grey hair asleep at the front desk.

 

 

The Far From The MCC are thrilled to watch the grass grow.

 

It was from this gloomy and forbidding edifice that the Mad’s opponents issued on Sunday 3rd June, between them their brains teeming with decades of accrued cricketing knowledge and lore. Winning the toss, the Bodleian batted in reverse alphabetical order from Yousaf through Mackinnon, then alphabetical to Shaw, then reverse to Clarke, then alphabetical to Hudson, then reverse to Ball, then alphabetical to Kauffman, then reverse to Ackland, then alphabetical down to Hotson at eleven, guesting from the Mad. But after all that, they could muster only 101 between them, a total which Howarth and Westmoreland of Far From The MCC knocked off in under 17 overs.

 

 

Baby Calypso was introduced to the wonders of grass also.

 

In truth this was a mismatch, and once the Bodleian’s dangerous Yousaf was dismissed by D. Shorten (7-4-14-2) for 10, caught handily by J. Hoskins at mid-off, the librarians were always up against it. Milner (18) did some damage until sharply taken by A. Mann at mid-on, but top-scorer for The Bodleian was the Mad’s own M. “Billy” Clarke, who took 30 off his own bowlers before hitting into the safe hands of N. Hebbes. Not for the first time, D. Shorten was pick of the bowlers with his sharp cutters, and M. Westmoreland (3-0-11-2) has discovered the handy knack of picking up wickets in the middle order with his consistent away swing. Hebbes (2-1-2-1), A. Small (4-0-24-1) and J. Harris (1-0-6-1) cleaned up the tail. T. Smith in the field looked like a flamenco dancer on acid, and several times caught his sunglasses when the ball would have been preferable.

 

 

The dual scoreboard was surrounded by loads of grass.

 

Batting, the Mad made light work of it on an easy pitch, and Bodleian heads soon dropped. I. Howarth (59 n.o.) led the way, ably backed up by M. Westmoreland, who made 38* on his own account, and the best of the Bodleian attack, skipper S. Ackland, bowled only three overs. The Mad’s Mickey “Billy” Clarke bowled another three, but couldn’t pick up the wicket which would have given him bragging rights for the next ten years. And then it was finished; a six over midwicket, then a single, and both sides strolled off to watch them playing some real cricket on the adjacent ground.    

 

File this one under ‘convincing’.

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

Bonus:  "TFC Spotter's Report"

 

Statto's Scorecard

Match Fines

 

 

MOTM:  I. Howarth’s 59* and run out

Champagne Moment:  J. Harris’ catch in the deep

Buffet Award:  A. Small’s meringue tart

 

 

 

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