Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Mad’s Pembroke Swansong

Ends In Lopsided Flogging”

 

 

Sunday 2nd September 2007

Result:  Lost by 6 Wkts

Venue:  Pembroke

35 overs

FFTMCC

165 - 8

I. Howarth  44,  A. Mann  32,  T. Smith  20

Tetsworth CC

166 - 4

A. Fisher  2 - 20

 

 

 

It is perhaps fitting that during the Mad’s game against Tetsworth, two swans were seen flying over the ground, heading north. It’s not known, however, if they were singing, or if swans do sing anyway. If they did, the lyrics would most likely be in ‘swan’, and nobody could understand them except other swans and Swan Whisperers, of which, as far as I know, there aren’t any. But this was the Mad’s swansong, their last ever game at Pembroke College Sports Ground, and as such it was also fitting that they should get royally stuffed by the opposition in a manner rarely seen since the bad old days when a good stuffing was always on the menu. Maybe they weren’t swans after all. Maybe they were ducks.

 

 

“Dad – this kept vanishing into the hedges when you guys bowled.”

 

When Tetsworth turned up around 2 o’clock on the Sunday, I was pretty surprised to see my postman among their number. At first I thought he was doing a bit of overtime and had taken the time to deliver my mail to me in person, but then I found out he was just a Tetsworth ringer. The poor bastard spent the whole game fielding on the boundary, not getting a bowl, then he didn’t get a bat either. Don’t expect he’ll be playing for them again, somehow. It was that sort of game, really. Swans, postmen, Kev tinkering with an Airfix model in the kitchen, saying how much hates cricket, the Mad getting stuffed as though they were playing the Lemmings in 2001. You too could be forgiven for hating cricket after a hiding like this, but really it was more funny than depressing, except for the depressing bits.

 

 

H. Shallow (keeping) can also keep in addition to averaging 100+ with the bat.

 

Despite that, it was a game of records. A. Mann (32) shouldered some responsibility, and along with I. Howarth (44) put on 93 for the first wicket. It was a record opening stand at Pembroke. For a change Mann almost looked like he did vaguely know how to bat, and in his last game of the summer, Howarth capped a great year, once again showing why he is the Mad’s premier batsman this season. With both openers gone, J. Hotson (3) did his bit to slow the run rate down until he got out (and break the only decent bat the club owned), and N. Hebbes (5) did his bit to speed it up, but you could tell by the way the Tetsworth West Indians were bowling off half a pace that anything the Mad scored was never going to be enough, even if it was 723. Which it wasn’t. T. Smith (20) went off like a cracker as usual, smashing a few boundaries and a squirrel, and M. Clarke (16) chipped in, but 165-8 looked low. G. Carter and J. Hoskins had added to their collection of wading birds, while A. Fisher (6 n.o.) and M. Bullock (5 n.o.) took what they could from the last few balls.

 

 

“Easy! Easy! Easy!”

 

165 looked even lower after A. Mann’s first over went for 12. He got a fairly lucky wicket and a right tonking (4-0-30-1) but was relatively economical, and that says it all. Tetsworth’s R. Wright (122), playing with his eyes shut and one hand tied behind his leg, showed the kind of boredom while smashing his century that is rarely seen at this level.  A. Small (4-0-34-0) bowled well but still got tonked, and Hoskins (3-0-34-0) achieved an equivalent tonking, though in six less deliveries. M. Bullock was out-tonked by everyone, and in conceding 0-38 from 2 overs, broke a record of a different kind. A. Fisher came on looking to be uber-tonked, but despite a promising first over of sausage rolls and jam tarts, his natural instincts were betrayed by the Mystery of Pie. A flan and a donut took two quick wickets, and his 2-20 showed that the Way of Pie is no respecter of reputations. The Pie will triumph, as many have prophesied. By the time H. Shallow came to the crease in the 17th over to hit the last two balls of the game for discouragingly non-aerial boundaries, the Mad were all glad that he hadn’t come in earlier. Apparently he can bat a bit, this guy. And my postman wasn’t even padded up.

 

 

The final team photo from Pembroke….

 

Pembroke, Pembroke, Pembroke. No more shall we see your blah blah blah etc etc. Nice ground, shame about the footbridge….

 

 

‘Blocker’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

Statto's Scorecard

No Fines on this Day

 

 

MOTM:  A. Mann scoring some runs at last

Champagne Moment:  Kev Groundsman getting a bottle of champagne

Buffet Award:  M. Bullock’s treacle tarts

 

 

 

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