Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Duckworth-Lewis
Cannot Save The Mad”
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Sunday 17th
August 2008 |
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Result: Lost by D/L Method |
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Venue: Marespool |
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30 overs |
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Mumbles CC |
190 - 3 |
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S. Parkinson 1 - 23 |
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FFTMCC |
122 - 7 |
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I. Howarth 39,
D. Edwards 33 |
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It
was with great thanks to the generosity and understanding of Mumbles Cricket
Club that there was any cricket played on the Sunday of tour. The consistent
barrage of wet weather had dampened spirits sufficiently for the players to
begin making alternative plans for the day. So the news from tour organiser
N. Hebbes that the game was “still on” was met with a mixture of surprise and
delight. Cramming everyone into a small pool of cars and a builder’s van, the
Mad left their seafront hotel and headed up into the hills of Mumbles for a
game of cricket.
The Marespool ground takes
another bucketload of rain. On
arrival at Marespool, the Mad were greeted not by Catherine Zeta Jones (whose
house is nearby), but by a rugged member of the Mumbles CC ground staff who
eloquently professed the weather to be “doing his fucking nut in”. Yes, it
had started drizzling again, and a brief inspection of the wicket saw small
pools of water developing at either end – enough so that water would squish
into your shoes. A few battle-hardened Mad saw fit to try the nets in attempt
to relieve the boredom, but these were cut short after some more Westmoreland
bowling yips prompted a further deluge from above. Saturday’s depressing
rainfall had washed out the entire localised league program, and with a
Mumbles XI as desperate to play as the tourists the match survived a 45
minute delay until the skies started to clear. Correct
calling of the toss is an integral part in making for a successful season;
being able to dictate the order of a match after analysing the pitch and it’s
conditions, and rationalising whether to have a bat or a bowl. The Far From
The MCC never have to appropriate any thought to this conundrum anymore, as
they never ever win a fucking toss
anymore. Today would mark the Mad’s 5th skipper for the season,
and not wanting to pull rank or upset the apple cart, Dave Shorten successfully
called the toss incorrectly and was informed by his Mumbles equivalent to
“enjoy yourself in the field”. Well done, Dave – you can’t beat a good
carting on a nice sludgy pitch in persistently miserable weather.
Jake’s new hobby is collecting
turds in a bag. It
soon became clear why the Mumbles elected to bat first; they were rammed to
the hilt with talented batsmen straining at the leash to whack a bit of
leather about; and boy, oh boy, would the Mad grant them that wish. A. Mann
(6-0-32-0) and S. Parkinson (6-1-23-1) did well in the early stages as Mumbles
pair R. Jones (51*) and C. Nelson (41 ret’d) set about propelling the run
rate, with Nelson in particular quite savage on anything short. In fact he
was quite savage on anything pitched up as well, and anything which didn’t pitch at all. I. Howarth (2-0-20-0) tried
all three of the above permutations of delivery and copped a right bumming much
to the amusement of a supportive
The Mad were thankful for not
hearing Ian moan about his batting. After
30 pulsating and nerve-shredding overs, the Mad bowlers had done their job in
restricting a Mumbles XI to a modest 190 for 3; now it was the batsmen’s turn
to come up with the goods…. There was no tea break, just a quick turnaround
whilst the clouds retained their water. Mr. Shorten scribbled down his
batting order before ordering Martin and James to leave the warmth of the
changing rooms for the great moist outdoors. The
reply didn’t start well as M. Westmoreland (2) was bowled a ball “he didn’t
see”, and J. Hotson (2) was bowled by a ball he did see; and when J. Hoskins (8) spooned a catch to cover it left
the Mad tottering on 18 for 3. And so it was with huge collective relief that
I. Howarth finally came to the party and scored some runs – joy for him, but
more so for the massed rank of watching Madsters sick to the back teeth of
hearing him moan about how “shit” his season had been. Mixing a blend of
booming drives and a few slog-sweeps, Howarth (39) guided the Mad to 58-4
before leaving predictably to a catch in the deep. D. Edwards (33) took up
the gauntlet with a bristling T. Smith (13), and despite the best of
intentions, neither seemed able to smack the ball off the wicket as the required
run-rate spiralled out of reach. D. Shorten (11) would provide an
entertaining cameo including another
memorable hoik for six, but the target was always going to be just too much.
J. Hoskins (8) swats the ball
away in the gloom. With
the match nearing it’s finale, the rain began to fall once more; water
soaking up in the jumpers of the Mumbles fielders and trickling off the brims
of their caps. After consultation with the bedraggled umpires, the game was finally
abandoned with the FFTMCC on 122 for 7 (S. Parkinson 5* and S. Hebbes 3*) –
the result of the match being decided by the Duckworth-Lewis method of
calculation. It didn’t take long for either Mr. Duckworth or Mr. Lewis to
come to the conclusion that the hosts had secured a comprehensive victory and
handshakes were liberally dispensed all round. It
summation: it was an enjoyable game despite the outcome and the weather, and
our gratitude must go to Mumbles CC for sticking it out almost to the end. We
wish them well in the future – a very amicable and amusing bunch of guys. ‘Spam’ |
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No
Fines on this Day |
MOTM:
Champagne Moment: D.
Shorten’s first ball six
Buffet Award: