Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Forward Defensive Forgotten
As
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Sunday 13th
July 2008 |
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Result: Match Drawn |
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Venue: |
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Time |
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Blenheim CC |
164 - 5 |
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S. Dobner 2 - 27 |
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FFTMCC |
99 - 8 |
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M. Westmoreland 38,
M. Reeves 19 |
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The
Duke of * * *
It
would seem the Far From The MCC had come full circle as they deposited their
kit bags and two dozen babies on the front lawn of Blenheim Palace. Many of
the team could still remember the depressing and often squalid surroundings
of the Cowley Marshes in the rain, so to be sat on sweeping lawns and formal
gardens in the sunshine seemed somewhat surreal. In fact many of the team had
commented on how they had experienced brief sensations of being pop stars, as
they cut their way past Joe Public, manicured hedgerows and intricately
carved fountains with their sporting apparel. Pop stars? I suppose J. Hotson
could fit the bill with his Eric Clapton style shoulder-length haircut, but
the rest? …more like the misfits who surrounded Shane McGowan on tour a few
years ago… and in the case of Stephen Parkinson: read Bronski Beat. A
brief pitch inspection of the Blenheim track revealed it to be one of a soft nature – hardly surprising since
a year’s annual rainfall had deposited it’s arse all over Oxfordshire in
recent weeks. The decision to bat or bowl was once again taken out the hands
of skipper I. Howarth, as the now familiar walk back to his team mates was
accompanied by cries of “you useless tosser” and shakes of the head. Blenheim
CC began their innings in obdurate fashion as both A. Mann (6-3-6-0) and M.
Reeves (6-2-19-0) failed to make a breakthrough on the slow and placid
surface. However, Mike’s wicketless column could be blamed less on his
cutting edge, and more on a pathetic dropped catch by Essex regular
A swell of Mad on the lawns of As
the afternoon wore on, the Blenheim total would inch forward as N. Hebbes
(5-0-15-1) bowled intelligently from one end, and then accelerate as J.
Hoskins’ (4-1-27-0) spread of undercooked pastries were gorged on the other.
D. Edwards (5-0-23-0) was then handed the cherry when it soon became clear
that the hosts were not going to take any undue risks, and even an assortment
of fruit buns and caramel tarts lobbed down from 24 yards would fail to tempt
the Blenheimites into anything rash. Their solid and well-constructed
platform allowed their middle order free reign as tea became imminent, with S.
Parkinson (5-0-23-1) and I. Howarth (3-0-18-1) coming under fire as the hosts
looked to post a satisfying total to chase. Some fluid late hitting from J.
Easterbrook (46*) left the scoreboard reading 164-5 after the declaration. Tea
was taken, and the Mad mingled with their jovial Blenheim counterparts as
they discussed the merits of timed cricket
and what the Duke maybe doing? Whatever he was doing he wasn’t batting like an utter arse, but that is
exactly what three-quarters of the Far From The MCC would bat like on this
afternoon…. First
up was Eric Clapton; and after deriding the notion of scooping a golden duck
on the grandest of stages, Jake’s stumps were rattled after he played 3 days
to late to a ball straight in
nature. The aristocratic S. Parkinson (0) was next; and after kicking his
first ball away with almost arrogant distain, he was subsequently yorked by a
straight one whilst raising an
eyebrow and wiggling his backside to his missus and his father-in-law who
were pitch side…. One does sometimes wonder where Steve’s reputation as a decent cricketer was forged – or it
simply a rumour that has surfaced after he declined a pint of Stella at the
bar in favour of a Tia Maria? Whatever, his celebratory fan club seems to be
sparse of late….
Part I – excerpt from the The ‘ Wobbling
at 17-2, the skipper’s brain cell then misfired, and despite being given a
reprieve in the slips (and an acrimonious first ball let off it should be
noted), he opted to try and launch The
stage was now set for an
Part II – excerpt from the The ‘ It
seems somewhat strange then to report on the one batsman in the Mad ranks who
has garnered a reputation for peppering cow corner, as being the mainstay of
the Mad’s eventual recovery by utilising a sound and robust defensive
technique…. M. Westmoreland (38) would bat for nearly 20 overs, oblivious to the
cry from his supporting army to “give it the moo”, and together with M.
Reeves (19), N. Hebbes (10*) and D. Edwards (2*) would ensure the match would
end in a draw. It was hardly serve as an electric finale to the day, but
Geoffrey Boycott would have been showering praise on the spectacle. It is
perhaps also worth noting that the stalwart defensive genius which is A.
“Blocker” Mann did not bat. Nor did he mind. And nor did he cob. Because
nobody in the Mad ranks ever cob these days. Never. Because it is far too
childish a past-time (ahem)…. * * * So,
in summary, the fixture at Blenheim proved a highly successful and enjoyable
one (unless you didn’t bat). The Far From The MCC escaped with a draw despite
being second best for much of the day, and with both teams retreating to the
Star Pub post-match, a new friendship had hopefully been born. Here’s
to next year and hopefully the Duke can put aside his pressing engagements to
watch a little “Mad”-ness, and maybe buy our book? ‘Spam’ |
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MOTM: M.
Westmoreland’s patient 38
Champagne Moment:
The Grand Lawn itself!!!
Buffet Award:
J. Hoskins’ chocolate sponge cake