Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“FFTMCC
And The Se7en Dwarves”
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Sunday 22nd
June 2008 |
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Result: Lost by 2 Wkts |
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Venue: Stratfield Brake |
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35 overs |
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FFTMCC |
135 - 6 |
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G. Littlechild 82,
J. Hoskins 16* |
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Lemmings |
136 - 8 |
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N. Hebbes 3 - 24,
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Antarctica
is generally regarded as the windiest place on the planet, although the winds
experienced at Stratfield Brake on Sunday would certainly be pressing a
claim. Without the rows of poplar trees that acted as a wind-break for Pembroke
College Sports Ground, the fields of Kidlington CC had their belly fully exposed
to the elements; and as a result, storm force winds reduced the match to a
farce at times as players spent every other minute replacing bails that had
blown off. Where were the heavy
bails? Do Kidlington CC actually own
any heavy bails? And if they did –
where the hell were they? And even if we did find any, would the Mad’s
armoury of pie-chuckers actually have the necessary velocity in their pies to
dislodge these heavy bails? So many
questions, and so few answers….
Headwear was consistently being
chased after…. * * * The
Lemmings have always been a favoured opponent of the Far From The MCC. Not
that the games are usually evenly contested and result in a grandstand finish
- far from it, the Mad have had some serious dickings over the years. It is
the spirit in which the games have always been played, and the affable nature
of our undergraduate friends which has always made the fixture a popular one.
Sunday was no different, and when Lemmings skipper Simon Baker lost the toss,
he generously allowed the Mad to field 16 batsmen. How exceedingly very
sporting of him. In addition to the ten regulars who made up the batting
card, there were seven dwarves in attendance as well: Cobby, Gobby, Stroppy, Stumpy,
Sloggy, Sulky and Gary – all sharing the surname of Littlechild. Under the
terms of this agreement the dwarves were to “walk” if they offered up any
sort of a chance that wasn’t taken by the Lemmings team, and at the end of
the innings their individual scores would be collated together for one
combined total which would be attributed to
Cobby (batting) was the dullest
of the Littlechild dwarves. Fronting
the Mad innings in the hurricane winds came Cobby and captain-fantastic, The
Mad innings continued to crawl, and a wild slog had the Titanick floundering
in shallow water and capsized for 5. Geoff Carter was next up at the oche,
and together with Gobby the score trickled along at little more than 2 an
over. Attempting to up the scoring rate, Gobby and Stroppy would both be
dropped (probably by S. Baker), but under the agreement they accepted their
dismissals in good faith and exited stage left. They were soon to be joined
by Geoff (11) who was castled after falling asleep at the crease.
Stroppy (batting) was much more
attractive to the eye. It
soon became apparent to the Mad that nobody else was contributing whatsoever
to the Mad total other than the Littlechild dwarves. Stevie D pissed around
for 3, Jake scooped another duck, and the returning J. Harris (1) was sent
packing after N. Hebbes upheld an appeal for waistline-before-wicket despite the bowler,
John festers in the scorebox
after his disgusting lbw decision. Time
for tea, and Mr. Small found himself relegated to the back of the queue for
fear of him devouring everything in sight before the rest of the players had had
their chance. This was a cunning strategy as it turned out, as it reduced
Adie’s intake to just a score of egg and cheese sandwiches, a dozen marzipan
cakes, and a bowl or two of Indian aperitifs – thus ensuring our
patriotically decked-out buffet service was ready for an extensive bowl. The
Lemmings were less accommodating when it came to the Mad’s turn to field, insisting
that only one of the dwarves were allowed to take to the field. Gary
naturally nominated himself, said goodbye to his tiny bravvers, and spent the next few hours cobbing, gobbing and
diving behind the stumps. S. Dobner (7-1-29-2) and
The drinks interval allowed time
to talk about dwarves. Although
the Mad stuck gamely to their task, they never really looked like they had
wrestled the initiative from the opposition… and as it panned out, they
didn’t. If they’d scored just another 20 or 30 runs then things could have
been so different, or rather if the dwarves had scored another 20 or 30 more
runs between them…. As it was, not even a stupefying one-handed catch at
square leg by Mr. Hoskins could tip the balance of the match. The Lemmings
would eventually limp over the line triumphant by 2 wickets, but only after a
drunken T. Smith kneed the ball for an extra couple in the covers… though
thanks for turning up at six in the evening, dude – much appreciated. An
enjoyable game, in spite of the weather. Snow White would have loved it. ‘Walter Disney’ |
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MOTM: All of the Littlechild
dwarves
Champagne Moment: J. Hoskin’s
one-handed catch at square leg
Buffet Award: J. Harris’
sugar dumplings