Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Titanick Avoids Captaincy Icebergs

As Nomads Are Slain”

 

 

Sunday 11th May 2008

Result:  Won by 3 Wkts

Venue:  Duntisbourne Abbots

40 overs

Nomads of Swindon

143 ao

A. Mann  3 - 19,  J. Harris  3 - 40,  D. Edwards  2 - 7

FFTMCC

144 - 7

D. Edwards  24,  T. Smith  21,  M. Bullock  20

 

 

 

The unseasonally clement spell of recent weather provided a welcome relief for the Madsters, following the disappointment of cancellations against Wootton and Boar’s Hill and the mighty Cholsey.  The lack of recent action produced an air of expectancy and tension as we enjoyed our pre match pint – the players needed an outlet for the testosterone stored up since the previous season - although Messrs Hebbes and Parkinson had both clearly found that outlet (2 more new disciples for the ever increasing Mad communion). Close inspection of the new Dictator’s colour coded spreadsheet showed a welcome return to the fold for The Two Manders.

 

 

A welcome return to the fold for the Doc (right).

 

On arrival at the splendid home ground of our hosts, the Nomads, N. Hebbes proved To The Manor Born to this captaincy lark by immediately losing the toss, to maintain Captain Howarth’s fine record as a Losing Tosser. On an afternoon of scorching temperatures, it was no surprise to see the home team decide to bat. In the distance three key members of the much vaunted Mad seam attack could be seen to be missing the nets completely with all manner of ill directed missiles – this boded well. Not.

 

With no obvious outward signs of enthusiasm, it was down to A. Mann and S. Parkinson (8-0-23-0) to resume their rarely penetrative opening partnership. Nomads set off with the composed Alleyne and Preddy Mk 1 coping well with the creaking opening salvo. However the runs were not flowing and it was not a great surprise when A. Mann tempted Preddy into an indiscrete lunge with the ball sailing into the twitching fingers of Cap’n Hebbes. Alleyne, who had looked well set for a long innings mistimed a drive shortly after and the Mad were in the game. Parkinson continued to toil up the hill with no great luck whereas the wily Aussie was replaced by the parabolic loop of J. Harris. It wasn’t long before Calypso joined the roll of honour, by snaring the entertainingly positive Leighfield – who was given a chance by the normally reliable Moo Boy – the dropped catch was regulation; what was extraordinary was the speed with which the culprit sought to pre-empt the fines committee, by making his excuses before the ball had hit the deck – ‘Celestial Interference’ was the excuse proffered. Harris went on to take an excellent caught and bowled which contributed to figures of 8-1-40-3. Special mention should go to Ben Mander who took a quite frankly astonishing catch to remove Harrow – stubbing out a cigarette, before sprinting 30 yards, he launched himself to pluck the ball one handed just inches from the turf. This whilst wearing sunglasses and chinos. The batsman had every right to look aggrieved!

 

Second hand car salesman A. Darley (4-0-11-0) making his much awaited debut for the Mad soon got into the action and bowled with ‘good wheels’ and rhythm. He was another who, in fine Mad tradition, looks set to earn his fair share of Opening bowler; no wicket fines.

 

 

The half time cricket spread was similar to A. Darley’s (left) variety of bowling.

 

Previous correspondents have sought to belittle certain members of our attack, by labelling them purveyors of finest patisserie, especially the cream filled variety. This accusation cannot be levelled at T. Smith (3-0-25-2) and Mander Minor (2-0-12-0), both of whom bowled as if launching hand grenades into enemy territory. Sure, there were times where there was more danger of ‘friendly fire’ casualties, but it is this variety that makes the attack so potent. Cough….

 

D. Edwards, came on later in the innings to quell any hopes of a Nomad revival, his excellent bowling was rewarded with typically good figures of 3-0-7-2. The Nomad innings was soured, however, by an act of bullying by A. Mann (5.4-2-19-3) who intimidated an 8 year old by bowling him first ball. The harbourer of dark thoughts called him back on the instructions of the Best Cricketer in Cowley, (or The Hierarchy as he preferred to be called) only to bully him once more. The poor child had the haunted look of one who had witnessed something terrible. He had looked evil straight in the eye. Twice. The Nomad innings closed on 143 with Mr. Extras top scoring on 31!!!!

 

The Mad reply began in steady fashion with Hebbes and Edwards both looking to lay the foundation. Just when the partnership was starting to bear fruit, Titanick (9) struck ice. He was breached below the water line and sank. Edwards was joined at the crease by Doc Mander. Progress in the subsequent overs was sedate, before Doc struck the ball firmly back to the bowler’s good hand and set off for possibly the most suicidal run in English cricketing history. Edwards, quite rightly, stood his ground and the hapless Mander (4) was just short of regaining his ground being run out by a mere 17 yards. Even in his matrimonial absence, Howarth’s malevolent influence was clearly in evidence….

 

 

Running between the wicket is a problem for most the Mad personnel.

 

The Nomads showed a keen intellect as well as cricketing talent, recognizing that a player entering the fray with Moo Boy emblazoned on his shirt is not going to nudge and nurdle – three players were immediately posted at deepish cow. Ever the pragmatist, Moo immediately guided one through slip. Pure theatre. In typical fashion Martin got on with it and the Good Ship Mad made steady progress towards our target with these two in harness. It was, therefore a surprise when Westmoreland (14) perished, bringing Thornton to the wicket. Another player who is unfazed by impending crisis, Thorn played his natural game and was soon smashing the ball to all corners in a very enterprising knock of 21 which ensured we remained the necessary impetus.

 

Edwards (24) was next to go after being the rock around which the innings was built. Ben Mander (0) was unable to reproduce his heroics in the field, soon departing after a mistimed pull. At this stage the unproven partnership of old head, Beer Matt and the young thruster Del Boy was unleashed. Both showed cool heads and no little talent. Indeed Matt managed to exceed his 2007 season aggregate of runs in this one innings!! Just when it looked like these two would see us over the line with time to spare, Darley (17) showed just why the money men at the helm of FFTMCC were so keen to seal his transfer. When served up with the largest cream horn of the day he swiped ineffectively at a knee high full toss and was comprehensively bowled. He will fit in well.

 

 

A. Mann (left) finally loses the will to live watching Dan grind to double figures.

 

It was left to M. Bullock and S. Parkinson to see us through to our target, despite frenzied appealing, with almost 2 overs to spare. Bullock finishing on an excellent 20 not out and Parkinson on 17 not out.

 

So despite recent inactivity The Mad secured a very good victory against strong opposition, who have always proved very difficult to beat in the past. Thanks to our hosts for a very good game played in good spirit. Onwards and upwards.

 

 

‘Mincer’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

Statto's Scorecard

Match Fines

 

 

MOTM:  T. Smith and D. Edwards

Champagne Moment:  B. Mander’s superb catch

Buffet Award:  T. Smith’s chocolate mousse

 

 

 

(...back )