Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

“Nov 2009 to Feb 2010:

The 5-a-side Football Disaster”

Thu 12^th Nov 2009 – Thu 4^th Feb 2010

Result: Utter Bumming

Venue: Tilsley Park, Abingdon

8.00pm+

The Far From The MCC are nothing, if not gallant and open to most suggestions. One can only assume there must have been a lot of beer drunk on the evening in question however, when someone suggested that the Mad should maybe start a footballing franchise. Dave Shorten took this idea at face value, ran with it, and booked the team into a hyper-competitive outdoor 5-a-side football league, which bookended the turn of the year in darkest, coldest mid-winter.

Vodafone have sacked their sponsors for ever agreeing to this lot….

Several months later on, and when anyone mentions that 5-a-side football league, they are usually either slapped across the face or disowned for the day. But before we try and pin the blame on anyone for such a foolhardy venture, it is perhaps worth noting the statistics born out of the tournament:

FINAL Thursday SOLL Super League 2009-10 Standings
	P	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	P
Clin Farm	9	8	1	0	46	7	39	25
The A Team	9	8	0	1	60	21	39	24
Real Machines	9	7	0	2	49	16	33	21
Total Not Football	9	6	0	3	37	24	13	18
Waitrose	9	5	1	3	49	17	32	16
Spartak Mustard	9	4	0	5	31	24	7	12
OBUCCFC	9	3	0	6	40	29	11	9
F.T.W	9	2	0	7	27	65	-38	6
Isotopes	9	1	0	8	19	57	-38	3
Far From The MCC	9	0	0	9	7	105	-98	0

Maybe the Mad thought they were still playing cricket? Because they were the only team to concentrate on bringing their ton up – of goals conceded! Nine games played, and nine withering and bruising defeats. Lowlights included a 15-0 bumming to kick proceedings off against “Total Not Football”; a 17-1 whupping against a Murdoch led “A Team”; and a final Thursday where the Far From The MCC contested back-to-back dickings where they shipped 25 goals in total and fired none in return. Another sobering fact, is that out of the 7 goals amassed by our lads during the event, 5 of them were scored in one game against the equally pitiful “Isotopes” (which the Mad contrived to lose 8-5 after leading at half-time).

An alphabetical list of who represented this shambular outfit can be found below:

Player Name	Goals
Andrew Darley
Dan Edwards
Dave Emerson	1
James Hoskins
Jake Hotson
Ian Howarth	2
Ian Leggate
Dave Shorten	1
Thornton Smith
Martin Westmoreland	2
Wilson	1

There were no heroes out on the field, but there were 11 heroes for turning up over the course of the three months. Rumour has it that the governing powers at Tilsley Park are maybe organising a 30+ league later this year, but whether Mr. Shorten can persuade his squad to enroll in this is open to debate.

“Finally, it’s over guys!”

Positives? There must be some positives? Well, yes - hats off to Dave for improving the lad’s fitness prior to the cricket season; and it’s possibly also worth a mention, that if any of the participants find themselves on the unfortunate end of being sexually assaulted over the coming years, then at least they can draw on experiences gleaned during this tournament to help resolve any mental issues….

‘Spam’

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