Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Cricket The Only Winner
In Inaugural Tri-Team Tournament”
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Sunday 5th July
2009 |
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Result: Won by 5 Wkts |
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Venue: Cutteslowe |
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15 overs |
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OU Offices |
117 - 6 |
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J. Hoskins 3 - 25 |
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FFTMCC |
118 - 5 |
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M. Reeves 31*,
M. Westmoreland 30* |
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Sunday 5th July
2009 |
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Result: Match Tied |
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Venue: Cutteslowe |
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15 overs |
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FFTMCC |
88 - 8 |
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JP Collins 27 |
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Wootton & Boars
Hill |
88 - 7 |
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D. Shorten 2 - 6,
JP Collins 2 - 11 |
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Lllllaaaaaddddddiiiieeeessss
aaaannnndddd Gggeennntttlllleemmmmeeennnnnnnn. Welcome to Cutteslowe top
wicket and today’s fight, a competition over 15 rounds (overs.) In the blue corner we have the OU Offices, a
bunch of journeymen professionals, struggling to make the weight at the end
of their annual tour. In the red
corner we have the FFTMCC, a well organised outfit although bloodied from
some recent bouts. In the, err, …other red
corner we have Wootton and Boars Hill - the undisputed prize fighters and
favourites of the competition. This is a tri-team tournament organised by OU
Offices and the FFTMCC as part of the Offices annual tour.
Barbeque-tastic weather was in
evidence for the day. That
must have been an interesting Offices committee meeting…. “Well
I think we’ve got this year’s tour sorted out. The venue is a University
town. The nightlife is pretty good, beer’s a bit pricey, it’s not too rough,
transport shouldn’t be a problem, or accommodation”. “Sounds
perfect, where are we off to, somewhere exotic we hope?” “Just
one little downside.” “Yes” “We
um, live there….” “Not
exactly Penguins Stopped Play is
it?” The
format for the day was three, fifteen over matches. First up was the OU
Offices, led by Andrew ‘bomber’ Darley and featuring Dave ‘the diamond’
Emerson against FFTMCC led by Martin ‘raging cow’ Westmoreland. Ding ding, Round 1. The OU opening
partnership had something to prove. Could they score more runs against the
MAD in one innings than they’d scored for them all season? After a series of
speculative jabs (dot, dot, dot), Darley (0) could contain himself no more
and launched a haymaker against D. Shorten. Howarth dancing round the
boundary took a splendid catch and their skipper was KO’d. That’s the
champagne sorted then. A boxer’s professional career is short, they must
retire at 30. Thus it was that Emerson was curtailed, although many say he
was never the same after the
A stray dog finds the beer
dustbin. OU
finalised 117 in their allotted 15 overs. Adie ‘the crash’ Fisher declared
this a par score. He is never ever wrong
and therefore the game was finely in the balance. Ding ding, Round 2. For the FFTMCC out stepped southpaw Mike
‘Lance Armstrong’ Reeves and the more orthodox Dave ‘the honeypot’ Shorten.
Darley had his revenge on Shorten (4), getting up off the canvas to catch our
man. Reeves was joined by Captain Cow and together they launched a vicious
barrage against the OU sluggers. Both reached 30 in good time and both retired
hurt, Moo pausing only briefly on his way to run out I. Leggate for zero.
Diving, but ultimately also ducking
were T. Smith (golden) and J. Hoskins. Still
50 runs short of the target in stepped Mike ‘the truth’ Clarke (20*) having
been mysteriously ‘up north’ for the early part of the season. He was soon
joined by Adie ‘the fist’ Fisher (13*). Together they bobbed and weaved and brought
the MAD home with just four balls to spare. A thrilling encounter, the FFTMCC
narrowly winning on points.
Near to where the aircraft came
down at Cutteslowe…. Back
on the boundary the main event was warming up as James lit the barbeque. Burgers,
sausages, baps, sauces; yes these were all things the OU had apparently
forgotten to bring…. James was offering two types of burger, ordinary and
‘special’. The specials had a strange effect on those eating them - they
actually made you more hungry. At
least one MAD player had to visit the shops immediately after for Mars Bars,
strange…. Ding ding, Round 3 as the OU took on W&BH. Wootton
included a number of up and coming youngsters, still hungry for success, and
they posted an imposing 113 after their 15 overs. Crash again declared this
about par, so we were finely balanced (apparently). Ding ding, Round 4 and the OU seemed oddly subdued in their
innings, could it have been the dustbin full of alcohol, or the economy
sausages that they’d finally unearthed? They fell over 30 runs short of their
target in the end. The highlight of the innings was Darley finally connecting with a flighted
delivery which soon disappeared over deep backward barbeque for six – and
possibly the largest cheer of the day!
Dave prepares to watch Geoff bat. This
set up the main event very nicely, a shoot out between the MAD and W&BH.
Wootton starting with the distinct advantage of not having spent the previous
two hours sitting in the sun methodically working their way through the
alcohol dustbin. Ding ding, Round 5
and Moo kept faith with his opening partnership of Reeves and Shorten who
handsomely rewarded their skipper with a duck and a duck. Moo (12) and Crash (11)
belatedly got the innings under way, bobbing and weaving into double figures
(just). Right,
hands up who’s pissed? Keep those hands up if you think this is a game of tip
and run where you have to charge down the wicket after any contact between bat and ball. Keep them up still if you’d like to form the middle
order of the MAD innings. Congratulations Carter (1), Smith (7) and Hoskins (4)
you’re next into bat. Hotson,
Collins and Clarke, start padding up. Several
attempts were made at cobbing, bats were thrown and gloves were kicked, but
somehow they just didn’t have the rage, the intensity of a Parkinson or a
Howarth. There was just too much joie d’vivre out there.
“Yes, we do burgers to go. Burnt,
uncooked or spiked?” Special
mention here to Jake ‘takes it on the chin’ Hotson (2), who only seven days
after receiving six stitches during the Milton rumble was back in the ring.
Fantastic work by the corner patching up our man and keeping the swelling
down to score two precious runs. The
MAD innings was teetering on 54 for 8 when in stepped JP Collins and Clarke
to push us towards respectability. Maybe it could have been more, but Clarke
was hampered and appeared in severe discomfort. Had he been visiting the
flesh pots of ‘up north’ without adequate protection? Had he forgotten to disinfect
the communal box? Or just possibly for the 50 fucking millionth time was he
wearing boxer shorts? Whatever the reason, there was a lot of furtive
tinkering going on. JP gave the bowling a severe bashing for a more than
handy 27 as Clarke chipped in with a very useful 14. This took the MAD to 88.
Could this be defended? Crash didn’t think so.
James (4) returns to his barbeque
– post cob. A
touch of gloves, a look of mutual respect and ding ding we were into the Final
Round. D. Shorten got by far the best of the opening encounters, posting
a brilliant 3-1-6-2. Collins, Leggate and Hoskins all bowled very tidily,
each picking up a brace of wickets. The MAD’s cause was helped enormously
when W&BH skipper K. Howkins was retired (train to catch) on 1. With
the score on 81 Reeves stepped up to bowl the final over. With nerves
jangling all round this was reduced to two to tie, three to win off the final
ball. Suddenly everyone wanted to be a captain, but Moo held firm and placed
a field to allow one run, but no more. After 7 hours, 90 overs, 165 cans of
lager, 18 Mars bars, 2 cases of salmonella, 1 dog and 3 kids, it all came
down to this. Reeves bowled, the batsman swished and the ball ran straight to
Hotson. A neat pick up and the ball was already on it’s way to Geoff behind
the stumps as the batsmen started back for their second run. All he had to do
was remove the bails for a famous victory. This he did and the celebrations
began!
No, we don’t know who Wolvercote CC are either…. AHHH,
yes, one tiny detail. All he had to do was remove the bails, WHILST HOLDING
THE BALL, for a famous victory. Umpire Emerson (correctly) judged that the
ball was not in hand when the bails were broken. Well done to Dave for not
wavering in his decision despite the protests of his regular team mates. This
contest was scored a tie by the judges. A fair result which was celebrated by
everyone. So lager, sausages, sunshine, good humour, there was only one
winner on this day – J-MO’s burgers. ‘Cloughie’ |
*
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No
Fines on this Day |
MOTM v OU Offices:
M. Reeves’ runs and wickets
Champagne Moment:
Buffet Award: JP Collins’
Australian kangaroo kebabs
MOTM v W&BH:
JP Collins’ runs and wickets
Champagne Moment: JP Collins’
flat-bat six
Buffet Award: