Far From
the MCC fines 3.5.09 v Cholsey
(a) won by 10 wkts
25p unless otherwise
stated.
|
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
|
Dave E. |
Being
smug |
At Fines Committee |
|
|
|
Moaning
about his quad’s |
Apparent muscle
pulls due to late night on piss watching Ricky Hatton fight |
|
|
|
Impersonating
Adie Small |
Vociferous
appeal |
|
|
|
Insulting
Nick’s dog |
Thinking
it to be a stray |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Nick |
Late
arrival |
Even though he lives
locally |
|
|
|
Throwing
like a girl |
Apparent weak arm
etc |
|
|
|
Contact
lens avoidance |
Changed to wearing glasses |
|
|
|
Assaulting
JP in the field |
Collision going for
catch |
|
|
|
Contributing
fuck all |
Other than collision
/ catch he did nothing all day |
|
|
|
Overly
friendly with opposition |
|
|
|
|
Being
smug |
At Fines Committee |
|
|
|
Impersonating
GW Bush |
Declaring a
successful appeal against a fine before the votes were all in |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Jake |
Not
using gloves to stop ball |
Used his head |
|
|
|
Texting Thorn at 4am |
To get Thorn to ring
him in the morning to wake him up (for lift) |
|
|
|
Missed
stumping |
X2 |
£1.00 |
|
|
Ignoring
advice in field |
Help with his
keeping |
|
|
|
Disorientated |
Using wrong changing
room |
|
|
|
Delusional |
Thinking he was
still Fines Chairman |
|
|
|
Rain
Man impersonation |
Advanced
mathematical thinking and making no sense |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
JP |
Mincing |
Appeal |
|
|
|
Flashing |
Changing in front of
a family |
|
|
|
Conforming
to Aussie stereotype |
Giving advancing
batsman a send off after dismissing him |
|
|
|
Assaulting
Nick in the field |
Collision going for
catch |
|
|
|
Vocal
avoidance |
Causing collision in
field |
|
|
|
Bowling
with hat on |
|
|
|
|
Self-entrapment |
At Fines Committee |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Dan |
Impersonating
Men In Black |
Wearing dark
sun-glasses |
|
|
|
Solo
celebration after run out |
Nobody saw his run
out after batsman left his crease |
|
|
|
Slow
scoring |
Allowing |
|
|
|
Playing
football instead of cricket |
Heading ball at slip |
|
|
|
Average
protection |
|
|
|
|
Needing
knock on head |
To rediscover
batting form |
|
|
|
Off
with the cuckoos |
Not concentrating at
Fines Committee |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Dave S |
Failing
to deliver to the homeless |
Arriving on bicycle
with hamper |
|
|
|
Promoting
breast cancer |
Harping on about the
charity |
|
|
|
Multiple
kit |
Two boxes |
|
|
|
Stealing |
A box from the kit
bag |
|
|
|
Justifying
stealing |
The box |
|
|
|
Poor
umpiring |
Crap gestures |
|
|
|
Being
rude |
Gesturing with index
finger at Steve D |
|
|
|
Extorting
money |
Unsuccessfully (for
charity) |
|
|
|
Large
cob |
At Fines Committee |
50p |
|
|
Mini
cob |
|
|
|
|
Donation |
25p to Fines
Committee |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.00 |
|
Thorn |
Smoking
on pitch |
|
50p |
|
|
Eating
on pitch |
|
|
|
|
Impersonating
Merlin |
Opposition likened
his appearance to Merlin |
|
|
|
Impersonating
Phil Tufnell |
Shaggy twig-like appearance |
|
|
|
Bullying
Jake |
Ordering him to get
his pint |
|
|
|
Self-importance |
|
|
|
|
Lying |
At Fines Committee |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
James H |
Impersonating
Long John Silver |
Hobbling with foot
injury |
|
|
|
Impersonating
Steptoe and Son |
Appearance |
|
|
|
Crap
wicket taking delivery |
Bowling Chappers with a shit ball (which bounced multiple times) |
|
|
|
Pot
calling kettle |
Derogatory remarks
about Dave cycling |
|
|
|
Moaning |
About carrying kit
bag |
|
|
|
Mini
cob |
About his hat |
|
|
|
Sponsored
by his mum |
She bought him a new
hat |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Steve D |
Defrauding
Breast Cancer |
Not sponsoring Dave |
|
|
|
Blaming
Ian |
For shortcomings in the
field |
|
|
|
Insulting
Lego |
At committee |
|
|
|
Backing
up disaster in field |
“Hello sailor!” |
|
|
|
Blaming
Ian |
For overthrows |
|
|
|
Impersonating
a tree |
Rooted to spot in
field |
|
|
|
Mini
cob |
“70 miles for this!” |
|
|
|
Persistent
grumbling |
About Cholsey |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Martin |
Mothering
the team |
Sending out “motherly”
text evening before the match (x10) |
£2.50 |
|
|
Average
protection |
|
|
|
|
Wake-up
call avoidance |
Jake |
|
|
|
Farming
strike |
Whilst batting |
|
|
|
Being
overly nice to Steve D |
Giving him the “nicest”
fielding positions |
|
|
|
Self-importance |
Leading by example |
|
|
|
Cruelty
to Dan |
Not allowing Dan to
get to 50 |
|
|
|
Failure
to bring back Dave S |
Dave still hasn’t
completed a bowling stint |
|
|
|
|
|
£4.25 |
|
Ian |
Talking
drivel |
All day |
|
|
|
Delusional |
Forgetting he’s no
longer the skipper |
|
|
|
Moaning |
About getting a TFC |
|
|
|
Comedy
fielding |
With |
|
|
|
Comedy
fielding |
With Steve D |
|
|
|
Poor
bladder |
Urination behind a
tree during game |
|
|
|
Self-importance |
|
|
|
|
OCD |
Continual problems
during the day |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
|
|
|
£24.00 |
|
Duck |
£0.50 |
|
Golden
Duck |
£1.00 |
|
Out
Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
|
Dropped
Catch |
£0.50 |
|
Opening
Bowler No Wicket |
£0.50 |
|
Opening
Partnership Avoidance |
£0.50 |
|
Smoking
on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Drinking
on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Missed
Stumping |
£0.50 |
|
Missed
Run-Out |
£0.50 |
|
Fines' Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
|
Impersonating |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Major Cob |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Parkinson’s Cob |
£1.00 |
|
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman |
£0.50 |
|
Insolvency (maximum limit) |
£1.00 |