Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“2010 AGM”

 

 

Friday 10th December 2010

Result:  Drunk and bloated

Venue:  Royal Oak (Oxford)

7.30pm+

 

 

 

The Royal Oak pub on Woodstock Road once again provided the backdrop for the end of season Annual General Meeting. A backroom was cordoned off for the team, much like a zoo would make special arrangements for some of it’s unruly animals.

 

 

Mike Reeves faces up to another trophyless season.

 

This year’s event was the best attended in living memory, but only because most of the team have developed short term memories through alcoholic addictions.

 

Herewith the notes from the meeting below (the ones I managed to scribble down whilst juggling the responsibilities of getting pissed, spilling my drinks and speaking out of turn)….

 

 

‘Spam’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minutes of the AGM

 

 

1

 

Apologies for absence:

 

Steve Dobner  (Vice Captain)

Ade Fisher

Ben Mander

Antony Mann

Andrew Morley

Gary Littlechild

Steve Parkinson

 

Present:

 

Matt Bullock  (Chairman)

Dan Edwards  (Social Secretary)

Dave Emerson  (Social Secretary)

Nick Hebbes  (Director of Cricket)            

Ian Howarth  (Fixtures Secretary, Minutes)                                                                   

Jake Hotson  (Social Secretary)                                         

James Hoskins  (Ground Secretary)

Ian Leggate  (Fines Chairman, Social Secretary)

Mike Reeves  (Treasurer, Vice Captain)

Martin Westmoreland  (Captain)

 

Andrew Darley

Jake Hotson

Tony Mander

Patrick Mellor

James Pearson

Chris Roberts

Dave Shorten

Thornton Smith

Gareth Timms

 

 

 

2

 

Chairman’s Welcome:

 

 

Doc and Mr. Smith analyse the Chairman’s blurb.

 

The Chairman began by calling order after the team had finally prised themselves away from the bar. He then began and ended his opening speech with “welcome”. To the point, and without a single wasted adjective.

 

 

 

3

 

Captain’s Report:

 

After his second season in charge of the disparate Far From the MCC, Martin began by thanking the team and informing them what a pleasure it was to lead them into battle. The additional grey hairs on his head were testament to this.

 

 

Martin get’s his grubby hands on the silverware.

 

In an exciting finale, the team missed out on a winning season (percentage wise) by the small matter of 1 solitary run (their final game against the Astons tied). Martin gave mention to a few notable incidents – Mike Reeves coming of age with the bat with his knock of 85, Ian Howarth underlining his batting idiocy caught on the boundary for 99, and Dave Emerson’s wonderful hat-trick. Martin was keen to stand as skipper for 2011 and hopes for a winning year.

 

 

 

4

 

Treasurer’s Report:

 

In his first season as Treasurer, Mr. Reeves supplied the team with more numerical data than their tiny brains could hope to cope with. In breaking it down into manageable chunks, the club as a whole made a £195 profit for the season which bucked against the current ailing economy.

 

 

“Five plus four equals nine. Six minus two equals four. Etc etc you dumb bastards!”

 

Mike made mention of Ian Leggate’s fine efforts as Fines Chairman – a role in which a brutal £511 were raised. Subs and Match Fees are to remain static, although emphasis was placed on the team sponsoring all the matches next year – particularly individuals in full-time employment. It is hoped the club can secure pub sponsorship too – wherever that home pub might be.

 

The team are aware that costs of ground hire next year may rise.

 

 

 

5

 

Season 2011:

 

Moving forward, Fixtures Secretary, I. Howarth produced a sheet of paper detailing the near-complete list of fixtures for the following term. Mentions were made that contact had not yet been made with the groundsman at Brasenose, but this is not expected to be a problem; and that the team’s final fixture of 2011 – on 9/11 – was to be contested against Tetsworth CC – scene of the worst cricketing carnage in Mad history (chortle).

 

 

Dan admires Ian’s arse as the latter juggles his roles of Fixtures Dude and alcoholic.

 

A home pub needs to be realised for 2011, and this will be identified if the team can net some sponsorship.

 

The size of the Mad’s playing staff is considered to be optimum, and that they are currently not seeking any new cricketers. Enthusiastic hopefuls will be kept on file by the skipper, in the unlikely event of the team being short on a particular evening or weekend.

 

 

 

6

 

Umpiring:

 

The Chairman makes an impassioned plea for a greater degree of respect and understanding for umpires and umpiring in general. 2010 plumbed the depths for show’s of contempt and bitching after certain controversial dismissals, and it is expected of the team to demonstrate a much improved persona on the field in 2011 (particularly when batting).

 

 

A new £5.00 fine is to be levied on anyone showing dissent at the wicket. This was ratified by the Fines Chairman. Players are expected to keep their emotions in check, at least until they have left the field of play.

 

 

 

7

 

Tour 2011:

 

James Hoskins has agreed to stay in his role of Tour Organiser, and his decision to tour to take the team to the coastal region of Minehead once again was met with unanimous applause. The Mad have many fond memories of the area. James was also thanked for his sterling efforts in organising the trip to Sidmouth this term.

 

 

 

8

 

Committee Member Elections:

 

 

Dave Emerson - making a case for his new role as the Director of Cricket.

 

The following committee positions were as always up for re-election. The following results ensued:

 

  • Chairman – Matt wishes to continue as Chairman, no contenders.

 

  • Fixtures Secretary – Ian Howarth wishes to continue as Fixtures Secretary, unopposed.

 

  • Treasurer – Mike Reeves wishes to continues in his role and is duly elected, unopposed.

 

  • Captain – Martin wishes to continue as Captain, with Ian Leggate opposing him. Martin wins a landslide vote and remains as skip.

 

  • Vice Captain – Steve Dobner continues as Vice Skipper, with Mike Reeves resigning. In an impromptu free-for-all election campaign, Jake Hotson becomes the second Vice Skipper after Martin declares the position open to a vote (failed applicants were T. Smith, I. Leggate, P. Mellor, G. Timms and D. Edwards).

 

  • Tour Organiser  –  James Hoskins wishes to continue in his role, unopposed.

 

  • Fines Chairman – Ian Leggate stands for re-election and is sworn in after beating T. Smith in a vote.

 

  • Director of Cricket – Dave Emerson won a position on the FFTMCC Committee after securing the newly formed role of Director of Cricket, with a close vote against an exiting Nick Hebbes.

 

  • Director of Overseas Development – Nick Hebbes fills this newly created position and thus retains his membership of the Committee.

 

  • Social Secretary – Andrew Darley is ushered into the role unopposed after all three incumbent Secretary’s resign (I. Leggate, D. Edwards and D. Emerson). It is hoped Andrew does not buckle under the weight of such a historically maligned role.

 

 

 

9

 

FFTMCC Awards:

 

 

More trophies than the Generation Game.

 

The following awards (with accompanying trophy) were voted for and the winners announced:

 

  • Player Of The Season  –  Martin Westmoreland

 

  • Most Improved Player  –  Jake Hotson

 

  • Effort  –  Martin Westmoreland

 

  • Champagne Moment  –  Dave Emerson (hat-trick) beats off other candidates (M. Reeves’ six onto S. Dobner’s car, A. Darley’s six to bring his maiden fifty up, Martin’s one-handed catch on the boundary, and N. Hebbes’ six at Wootton)

 

  • Stan’s Fantasy Cricket  –  Thornton Smith

 

Lesser, and more humorous honours were also awarded (for instances accrued over the course of the entire season):

 

  • Buffet Award  –  Ian Leggate

 

  • Champagne  –  Ian Howarth

 

  • Most Ducks  –  Ian Leggate  (5)

 

  • Most Valuable Fantasy Player  –  Martin Westmoreland

 

  • Run out Specialist(s)  –  Dave Emerson and Jake Hotson (2)

 

  • Best Strike Rate – Jenner Collins

 

  • Slowest Strike Rate – Nick Hebbes

 

  • Hogging The Match – Jenner Collins (scooped all 3 match awards versus Blenheim Park XI)

 

 

 

10

 

Other Events for 2010:

 

Andrew Darley and Dave Emerson have promised to look into arranging nets for the Mad. Wallingford School has been muted as it has a bowling machine. It is also been agreed that nets are to only run for 4-6 weeks. Previous seasons have been drawn out with numbers dwindling after the first few weeks.

 

 

 

11

 

Any Other Business:

 

Martin declares there has been significant interest in club baggies and he’ll look into ordering some for the new year (pending costs etc).

 

Matt is applauded for his always captivating statistics.

 

 

P. Mellor disproves the myth he can’t eat with utensils.

 

The AGM then came to an abrupt conclusion due to players requiring more beer, so this particular item on the agenda was once again more or less ignored.

 

 

 

 

*

 

POTS:  M. Westmoreland’s runs and wickets

Champagne Moment:  D. Emerson’s hat-trick

Best Effort:  M. Westmoreland’s captaincy

Most Improved Player:  J. Hotson’s keeping and batting

 

 

 

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