Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Winter Nets A Roaring Success,

As Mad Get Early Season Tonking”

 

 

Sunday 18th April 2010

Result:  Lost by 126 Runs

Venue:  Horspath

40 overs

Horspath CC

239 ao

M. Westmoreland  3 - 32,  J. Pearson  3 - 31

FFTMCC

113 ao

D. Edwards  49,  I. Howarth  15

 

 

 

An exhausting winter program of nets and exercise routines choreographed by Andrew Darley at the Oxford School in Cowley, had led the Far From The MCC to enter the 2010 season with high expectations of improved performances in all areas of their game. Hopes were further raised by the Mad’s resume of available players being bolstered by enthusiastic hopefuls, and the positive mental attitude eschewed by James Hoskins, insisting that this season the Mad “were going to remain unbeaten, and become the best Sunday team this country had ever seen.”

 

 

A new decade, same old toss.

 

Descending on the picturesque village of Horspath for the season’s curtain raiser, second term skipper M. Westmoreland was forced to revise his line-up due to the enforced absence of Essex team mate, S. Dobner. Steve, after failing to make his own party at Wembley stadium the previous day, had trotted out the same laughable excuse about volcanic ash and being stuck in Tenerife, and so Club Stalwart and drinking supremo A. Morley filled the void. Andrew’s inclusion in the team was perhaps ironic, since this would be first time he had actually played on his local Horspath CC ground, despite being a fully paid-up member of their club for several years. This took several of the team aback when the story unfolded, but when cheap beer and spirit prices were discovered later in the day, the penny dropped.

 

The ground at Horspath had long been the fixation of many of the Mad team – journey’s past the pitch on the little windy road between Cowley and Wheatley had often given rise to the question of “why do we never play here? It looks such a lovely place, and gosh, it has it’s own bar and I bet the beer’s cheap.” And thus it was, after protracted negotiations with fellow Fixture dude Max Eason, that I. Howarth was able to scribble Horspath CC down as hosts for the season’s starter.

 

 

“Right, kids – ‘ow best to fuck this up, eh?”

 

The unseasonably hot weather didn’t detract from Mad skipper Westmoreland’s intention of letting the hosts have first knock on a dry and manicured pitch. Martin’s reasoning was simple “this Horspath lot have strength in depth, and you lot can’t be trusted to set a decent total, so we’ll skittle them out for less than 400 and chase it down.” Without further a do, new ball opening pairing of D. Emerson a debutant J. Pearson set to work. It soon became obvious that if the ball broke the net of Mad fielders, it was going to rocket into the leafy hedgerows across the smooth flat outfield. This it did on several occasions, until Pearson took the first Mad wicket of the season, having G. Hamilton (11) smartly snaffled by keeper J. Hotson behind. When Emerson (6-0-40-1) rattled B. Hubbard’s (12) stumps, and first change bowler I. Leggate had S. Hay (21) caught at square leg off a beamer, things seemed relatively in the balance at 80 for 3.

 

 

Team Mad celebrate news that S. Dobner is still stuck in Tenerife.

 

Post match, a number of the Horspath boardroom staff would sympathise with their Australian cricketing coach opting to play in this game. Tasmanian, A. Gibbins, hairstyle moulded like Kevin Pietersen’s effort during the 2005 Ashes series (a plume of colour at the back), would now accelerate the Horspath innings upto the drinks break. He despatched anything in his half of the pitch - nominally opting for the houses behind the site screens, or the picnic and playground area by the clubhouse. It was a brutal assault, with M. Reeves (4-0-31-0) and I. Leggate (3-0-34-1) copping much of the bumming, as a swelled local crowd sat back on their collapsible chairs and enjoyed the show. It may have been the approaching drink break that distracted Gibbins, but after tonking an I. Howarth (4-1-27-1) delivery onto nearby Venus, he allowed the next ball to cut through his defenses and be castled for an entertaining 78. It’s doubtful Ian realised Mr. Gibbins’ full repertoire of cricketing skills, because if he did, he’d have maybe thought twice about the send off he gave him.

 

After seeing Horspath reaching 150 at the half way point, it was with great credit that the Mad were able to finally restrict their opponents to 239 all out in the end – all this despite multiple grassed chances. In finally putting his bowling yips to bed, Captain Westmoreland led by example in returning the quite exemplary figures of 8-2-32-3, backed up by a highly impressive debut from J. Pearson (7-1-31-3). N. Hebbes (5-1-29-0) shouldered some donkey work at the death, whilst D. Edwards (1-0-3-0) tossed down a curious over which seemed to baffle the opposition tail – maybe giving the skipper a hint as to where he can find a few overs in future.

 

 

Where has he been? Martin turned in his best bowling display in years.

 

Tea was an enjoyable and old-fashioned affair, with players from both teams sandwiched into the small clubhouse as they scrambled over the impressive buffet on offer. The vegetarians seemed happy enough, and if they’re happy, then the caterers have generally done a bloody good job.

 

On resumption of play, N. Hebbes justified his skipper’s confidence in him by “getting bored” of outside off stump bowling, and feathering a catch behind for a disappointing duck. Nick’s stay at the crease, albeit brief, was at least extended when he was asked to perform as runner for the achilles suffering I. Howarth (15). Despite Nick’s best efforts to run his team mate out, it was umpire J. Pearson who stepped up to the plate, awarding an lbw decision to a ball which apparently hit Ian’s bat before thudding into his pad. No doubt the latter will be moaning and chuntering about this dismissal for the rest of the season, as would anyone of Northern heritage.

 

 

D. Edwards (49) put up sterling resistance for the Mad.

 

T. Smith would also leave for a duck, before M. Westmoreland (12) steadied the ship with a few lofty hoiks to cow. Martin’s stay at the crease cut short when he was castled by Mr. Gibbins – the Tasmanian star deciding his off-spin was too much to the liking of “sloggers”, and thus now sprinting in off a 65 yard run up. I. Leggate (4) had the audacity to edge one for four, as did M. Reeves (10) before he perished to M. Meredith at the other end. A. Morley (0) didn’t edge any, and D. Emerson’s (0) growing reputation as the King of the Golden Duck was furtherly enhanced when he missed one of the straight balls he was looking at.

 

Watching this procession of Mad wickets to fall was the obdurate D. Edwards; the doughty opener serenely repelling the best that Horspath had to offer. A dot matrix system was punctured at various intervals as he smited the odd boundary here and there. It was a shame when Dan fell, just one short of a well deserved half-century – the redoubtable Mr. Gibbins (4-0-12-4) altering the shape of his timber. And the same star of the show accounted for J. Hotson, who became the Mad’s fifth duck of the day. This all left J. Pearson (0*) protecting his average and the Madsters all out for stubborn 113.

 

 

Warm applause for the Horspath team – they proved decent friendly rivals.

 

So a loss to start the season, but clearly a day where cricket was the winner. Beautiful April weather, combined with a lovely ground and hospitable hosts, all leave the Far From The MCC looking forward to visiting their new friends next year.

 

We wish them well.

 

 

‘The LBW Inspector’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  J. Pearson’s 3 wicket debut

Champagne Moment:  Comedy fielding (M. Westmoreland & N. Hebbes)

Buffet Award:  I. Leggate’s Wembley hot dogs

 

 

 

(...back )