Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“BBC Live Text Commentary
As Boars Hill Are Roasted”
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Sunday 25th
April 2010 |
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Result: Won by 9 Wkts |
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Venue: Wootton & Boars Hill |
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40 overs |
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Wootton & Boars Hill |
145 - 8 |
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M. Westmoreland 2 - 11,
J. Hoskins 2 - 14 |
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FFTMCC |
146 - 1 |
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I. Howarth 62*,
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1330:
Well then. A very warm welcome to all of our Radio 5 listeners. This is the
big one – especially for Martin Westmoreland in particular. After years of enduring
wretched fortunes in the Boars Hill arena, the skipper will try and
kick-start the Far From The MCC’s season after their tonking a week earlier.
1342:
We seem to have typical 1355:
The FFTMCC win the toss, and in a bit of a surprise have decided to chase a
target? Let me know you thoughts.
James “Fattori” Pearson limbers
up before the game.
From adepub on 606: “Good move for the Mad to bowl first for two
reasons: 1, they never have a clue about what kind of total to set and 2, I’m
always right.” From Notts_mincer on 606: “I have far better things to do in my
social calendar than lowering my cricketing horizons to listen to this
sub-standard babble. Did you know I used to play to extremely high standards
in Louth?”
1416:
WICKETS update – Wootton 5 for 2. Excellent start to the game here for the
team known as the Mad. D. Emerson and J. Pearson bowling beautifully in
tandem. Both of them rocking back the stumps. 1432:
It seems D. Mills and D. Godfrey have weathered the opening bowling attack,
and are now filling their boots. Pearson (6-2-14-1) drops short and is
smeared for a four, whilst Emerson (7-3-11-1) looks to be tired and is driven
to long off. Wootton have now passed the 50 mark. Looks like Martin is
turning to his second string of medium pacers, D. Shorten and
From Essex_Kim on 606: “Having been stuck in Tenerife with my
husband for what seems like an eternity, getting him out from under my feet
to play cricket today is a godsend.”
“Wonky - you’re going to try and
play cricket sober today? Hahaha.”
1438:
WICKET – Mills b Dobner 37 – Wootton 68 for 3. After a truly abysmal first
over from Dobner, he cleans Mills up with a beauty.
BBC
Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – one of the Mad players is chundering in the
outfield. Looks like it’s B. Mander, and it looks like it’s bile – a
greenish-yellow fluid now pooling in the gully area.”
1448:
WICKET – Ashton b Hoskins 5. Excellent bowling change by the skipper,
utilising his wily non-spinning spinner, J. Hoskins. A mesmerick apple
soufflé befuddling Ashton and clipping off.
1514:
A clatter of WICKETS – Wootton slumping to 82 for 7 after Hoskins (8-1-14-2) has
Jay (4) plumb lbw, and the skipper himself (3-0-11-2) rattles the timber of
Godfrey (23) and Abbott (1). The home team really are in disarray and in
desperate need of a partnership of sorts. Looks like another change in the
bowling here – Mad stalwart B. Mander coming into the attack.
J. Hoskin’s discards the contents
of his bread basket.
BBC
Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – the Wootton scorer has registered B. Mander in
the scorebook as ‘The Guy Who Was Sick In The Field’. Haha – now that is
funny. He obviously didn’t hear the bowler’s name.” 1540:
Wootton lower order batsmen, J. Rogers and young S. Morton, doing well here.
They’ve taken the score past a hundred and don’t seem to have encountered any
of the demons the earlier batsman reported in the wicket. Maybe the early
batsman were crap? Or maybe the bowling was good? No, I think the batsmen
were crap. 1523:
The bowling attack really has gone flat. M. Reeves (3-0-16-0) couldn’t
puncture a rice-paper bag, and Mander (2-0-12-0) looks like he’s all at sea
(forgive the pun).
BBC
Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – a clutch of locals on the boundary reckon
they’ve spotted Lord Lucan! I can’t say I’ve seen him, but I did see a
ghostly apparition earlier… spooky.”
Ant from 1548:
D. Shorten (6-0-33-0) is back into the attack, and immediately makes an
impression by throwing 5 wides down the leg-side. That really was poor, he
looks like a guy who has invested much of his spare time in mountaineering
rather than cricket.
Joy is forced to listen Dave’s
moaning about his bowling and umpiring display.
From Lil_Dennis on 606: “Cricket sucks. Stupid boring game for
stupid people, especially now my fella ain’t captain no more.”
1618:
WICKET – 1630:
The players have all left the field for the tea interval. Time for the kids
and spectators to amuse themselves with tennis balls and plastic bats.
Mel from Stanford in the Vale, text message: “Thank god my hubby
won the toss, or my Daniel would be sporting a black eye.”
From adepub on 606: “The Mad didn’t want to be chasing more than
150. It’s all psychological. Believe me, I know, and I’m always right.” 1649: D. Edwards and N. Hebbes look to be opening
the FFTMCC account. The pitch still looks in good shape, and with the dark
clouds having shifted over to the chav inhabited slum that is Didcot to the
south, we look to be in for an uninterrupted session of cricket.
The view over the cricketers of
the Didcot power station. 12th
over – FFTMCC 37-0 (TARGET 146). Well, after seeing the opening burst of
Abbot and Godfrey off, it looks like the Mad batsmen are going to indulge
themselves here. Edwards looks full of confidence with some elegant cuts
through the gully region, and Hebbes looks stoically determined to prove he’s
an opening bat.
Darley from Witney, by text: “Let me guess, Emerson is
slaughtered by now. He’s done his bowling and he’ll be on his 16th
can of Strongbow waiting to bat at number eleven? Haha. Call him a twat from
me. Toodle pip.”
1724:
WICKET – Edwards lbw Wiskin 14. Shock, horror! Just when we were all relaxing
into our cups of coffee and cakes, it appears Edwards has been triggered by
his team mate, Shorten. Looked a little high, and maybe a little leg-side,
and Dan did get a huge stride forward in – but whatever the argument, he’s
gone!
From Clare_AndTheKids on 606: “Who on earth gave my hubby out
lbw? Do they not realise he’ll be cobbing all week?” 1735:
A confident start by 22nd
over – FFTMCC 109-1 (TARGET 146). Hebbes and Howarth have now guided the Mad
past the century mark, and it’s all starting to look slightly processional as
Wootton give a bowl to anyone who can bowl in the hope of making a
breakthrough.
Thorn from pitch_Side, by text: “In the kingdom of the blind, the
one-eyed man is king. I know this is irrelevant, but I thought I’d recite it
for the thousandth time. Anyone got a spare can of Stella?”
I. Howarth (62*) recorded the
Mad’s first fifty of the season.
24th
over – FFTMCC 121-1 (TARGET 146). A push for a couple on the off-side, and
Howarth brings up his fifty. A fine effort recorded off 36 balls
29th
over – FFTMCC 141-1 (TARGET 146). Huge applause. Hebbes brings up the
100 partnership with a pulled six off J. Werrell. Take that. It also brings
the erratic opener his first half-century of the season. A much more serene
innings that one, containing 85 balls.
N. Hebbes (54*) pulls J. Werrell
for a rare six, and his own fifty.
BBC
Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – it looks like Howarth has bowed to pressure
from his team mates and has sent for the Goose as the Mad canter home.” 30th
over – FFTMCC 141-1 (TARGET 146). Howarth has just played back a maiden over
using the Mongoose bat. He’s either protecting his average or taking the
piss.
From adepub on 606: “Dickhead.” 31st over – FFTMCC 146-1 (TARGET 146).
Wootton have really struggled bowling on this pitch today, and Hebbes finally
loses patience as the Mad crawl towards the finishing line by cracking a
boundary through square off Werrell. That’s it folks – the Far From The MCC
have triumphed by 9 wickets!
1843:
So the Mad win their first match of the 2010 season, and their skipper
Westmoreland can take pleasure in the fact he wasn’t asked to bat today. 1858:
Signing off. The team have now been invited out on the piss in central ‘The BBC’ |
*
MOTM:
Champagne Moment: N. Hebbes’
six to reach his fifty
Buffet Award: B. Mander’s
sickly doughnuts