Far From
the MCC fines 25.04.10 v Wootton
& Boars Hill (a) won by 9 wickets
25p unless otherwise
stated.
|
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
|
JMO |
Goose |
Possession of |
|
|
|
Cob |
Whilst running |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Demanding
respect |
From a 13yr old |
|
|
|
Incontinence |
Pissing in outfield |
|
|
|
Blaming
Stevie D |
For dropped catch |
|
|
|
Dissing skipper |
For his fielding in slip cordon |
|
|
|
Missing
catching cradle |
Whilst throwing at cradle |
|
|
|
Stoning
opposition |
With missed aim at cradle |
|
|
|
Use
of hairdresser’s car |
Porsche |
|
|
|
Losing
interest in his bowling |
After just 4 overs |
|
|
|
Purposely
dropped catch |
So Mad had decent total to chase |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.50 |
|
Dave E |
Shitting
himself |
Awaiting a bat |
|
|
|
Failure
to bowl out overs |
Bowled only 7out of potential 8 |
|
|
|
Wearing
Long Johns |
In summer |
|
|
|
Impersonating
Albert Steptoe |
Long Johns |
|
|
|
Smoking
on the pitch |
|
50p |
|
|
Being
smug |
No duck |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Dan |
Comedy
fielding |
Allowing boundary through legs |
|
|
|
Cob
avoidance |
After lbw dismissal |
|
|
|
Dog
avoidance |
No Joe Puppy |
|
|
|
Bowling
avoidance |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Nick |
Taking
his time |
Doing everything |
|
|
|
Running
backwards |
He’s that slow |
|
|
|
Pub
avoidance |
Before match |
|
|
|
Maiming
opposition keeper |
Sweeping ball at him |
|
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Poor
positional advice |
JMO at slip |
|
|
|
Puik avoidance |
Avoiding Ben’s sick |
|
|
|
Average
protection |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Steve D |
Ryan
Air avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Overweight
and slow |
In field |
|
|
|
Threatening
behaviour |
Martin Griffin in a body bag |
|
|
|
Umpire
avoidance |
Doing a decent job |
|
|
|
Laughing
at Ian |
Whilst umpiring |
|
|
|
Socks
avoidance |
|
|
|
|
“Dobner
Clause” activation |
£1 maximum fine |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Mike R |
Hogging
game |
Fielding |
|
|
|
Cob |
Not batting |
|
|
|
Poor
preporation for game |
|
|
|
|
Wrong
pub after game |
|
|
|
|
New
bat avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Flashbacks
to 2006 |
Not batting |
|
|
|
Comedy
fielding |
|
|
|
|
Living
in the past |
Forming a Marlborough House fielding cordon with D.
Edwards |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Ian H |
Dropping
anchor |
With Nick |
|
|
|
Playing
maiden over |
With Mongoose bat |
|
|
|
Instigating
slow hand-clap |
With Mongoose bat |
|
|
|
Protecting
Nick’s average |
Seeing him to 50 |
|
|
|
Average
protection |
|
|
|
|
Throwing
bat |
With miscued pull |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
Missed
stumping |
|
50p |
|
|
Moaning
at JMO |
About his dropped catch |
|
|
|
Hypochondria |
Achilles |
|
|
|
Lack
of respect |
For Fines Committee |
|
|
|
Comedy
block |
Against pie bowling |
|
|
|
Flashbacks
to Minehead (tour) |
13yr old bowling |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.75 |
|
Dave S |
Kit
bag avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Pub
avoidance |
Before match |
|
|
|
Bovine
Mascot avoidance |
In kit bag |
|
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Accepting
shit equipment |
Bat |
|
|
|
Silly
attire |
Wearing ridiculous slippers and socks |
|
|
|
Denial |
Thinks he’s fashionable |
|
|
|
Boasting |
Living on Boars Hill |
|
|
|
Owning
the outfield |
Boars Hill |
|
|
|
Mad
ground avoidance |
Promise of making the Mad their own ground is still a
dream |
|
|
|
Trigger
finger |
Giving Dan lbw |
|
|
|
Large
cob |
|
50p |
|
|
Cob |
Throwing lighter |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.50 |
|
James P |
Standing
in vomit |
Ben’s vomit |
|
|
|
Impersonating
use of voice box |
After dropping catch into throat |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
Invoking
poor slip fielding |
Inducing edge to JMO at slip |
|
|
|
Club
kit avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Turning
up in kit |
|
|
|
|
Turning
up to pub in kit |
|
|
|
|
Taking
kit bag |
To ensure selection for next game |
|
|
|
Impersonating
a Kiwi |
Daniel Vettori |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
Moo |
Impersonating
Russell Crowe |
Beard |
|
|
|
Impersonating
the guy out of “the Joy of Sex” |
|
|
|
|
Dissing JMO’s
batting |
|
|
|
|
Missing
Bovine Mascot |
|
|
|
|
Thinking
JMO was a slip fielder |
Denial |
|
|
|
Putting
Nick on boundary |
He has a crap arm |
|
|
|
Impersonating
Adie Small |
Wicket celebration
x 2 |
50p |
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
£23.50 |
|
Duck |
£0.50 |
|
Golden Duck |
£1.00 |
|
Out Playing
Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
|
Dropped Catch |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Bowler No
Wicket |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Partnership
Avoidance |
£0.50 |
|
Smoking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Drinking on the
Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Stumping |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Run-Out |
£0.50 |
|
Fines'
Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
|
Impersonating
Billy Liar |
£0.50 |
|
Having a
Major Cob |
£0.50 |
|
Having a
Parkinson’s Cob |
£1.00 |
|
Insulting
the Fines Committee Chairman |
£0.50 |
|
Insolvency
(maximum limit) Known as
the “Dobner Clause” |
£1.00 |