Far From The MCC
~ Est. in 1998 ~
“Mad Gilkesy Of Tour Comedown”
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Sunday 22nd
August 2010 |
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Result: Lost by 6 Wkts |
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Venue: |
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40 overs |
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FFTMCC |
128 ao |
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M. Westmoreland 40,
M. Reeves 34 |
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129 - 4 |
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D. |
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The
assembled members of the Far From The MCC scratched their heads whilst seated
outside the Plough Inn in Appleton as Dan Edwards’ eyes rolled from one guy
to the next. “Erm,” started Martin, “…my backing up of Spam’s run out chance
was pretty good.” M. Reeves nodded his approval before suggesting his easy as
piss catch at square leg was slightly better than Jake Hotson’s even more
regulation catch behind. “Is that it?” questioned Edwards, “is that really fucking it? That we’ve got that bad that’s the best
The
Man of the Match vote was even more embarrassing to be fair. Candidates
included the aforementioned Reeves and M. Westmoreland for smacking some
pastry about (and then being dismissed against the first semblance of decent
bowling), and Dave * * * Earlier
in the day, a successful coin toss allowed M. Westmoreland the option of
batting first under rich blue skies and a warm sun. This he diligently did,
backing a strong batting line-up (on paper) to produce the goods. 7 overs
later and the Mad had been reduced to a pitiful 18 for 4. If Edwards (0),
Littlechild (2) and Howarth (10) represented the engine house of the batting corps, then there was clearly no
diesel in the engine or the starter motor was fucked. I. Leggate (0) cemented
the abysmal start by joining his mates in the garage at the second time of
asking (he was also dropped).
M. Reeves (34) continues his
recent good form with the bat. T.
Smith (9) departed soon after for an oil change, and faced with an inevitably
lamentable target to chase and such an early start to a day on the piss,
Appleton CC made an obvious decision to “bring on the pie – give these
fuckers some runs”. You can only hit what you face, but to bear witness to M.
Reeves (34) and M. Westmoreland’s (40) apologetic swiping of the donut wagon
was cringeworthy. Still, they did all they could, and at least they didn’t have
to make excuses to the wife for getting jam and sugar all over their whites.
J. Hotson falls narrowly short of
his maiden fifty as he’s castled. Back
to the cricketing world and the introduction of R. Uren (6.4-2-19-4) cut a
swathe through the remaining hopes of a Mad revival (if there were any hopes,
which there probably wasn’t). The skipper went first, caught in the covers,
before Time
for tea, and I’m happy to report the Far From The MCC showed no adverse effects
from a weekend on the pop in Sidmouth. Nearly every available morsel was gobbled
in record time, and anything that wasn’t eaten was devoured by the dog. It
hardly represented a big ask in truth, as the majority of the team had hardly
sated their hunger whilst batting.
The slips await any D. On
resumption of the match, the combination of E.
Hannibal Lecter ‘Hotson’ does a
good job behind the stumps. With
the game quickly fading out of view, hand-in-hand with positive enthusiasm
and energy levels, the skipper reasoned on giving a few overs to his Elite Pie Division. T. Smith
(2-0-10-1) was rewarded for bowling straight, and * * * Historically
the Mad have always been pretty inept in the wake of tour, and this day was
no different. Bolstering the ranks with a couple of fresh faces may have brought
some renewed vigour, but not on this occasion, with the new recruits combining
to realise two sparklers off an outside edge and a golden duck.
‘Del Boy’ Darley spotted the
abuse of the trotter. It
seemed somewhat apt that as the forlorn looking Mad troupe tried to lift
their spirits by fining each other to fuck at the pub, that Dan’s erstwhile
black Labrador dog was chewing off the remains of a pig’s trotter on the
floor (stolen from a pig roast). As ‘KP’ |
*
ne
MOTM: D.
Champagne Moment: M. Reeves’ easy
straight forward catch
Buffet Award: S. Dobner’s
whisky breakfast (with toasted buns)