Far From the MCC fines 25.07.10 v Cholsey (h) lost by 1 wkt

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Mike R	Bike Avoidance
	Dropped Catch		50p
	Impersonating Ronaldo
	Show Boating Avoidance	Not flicking ball up with foot & catching it
	Injury Avoidance	Strangely in perfect health
	Being Out To A No Ball	Was at least tit height
	Failure To Influence Umpire	Not even a menacing stare
			£2.00
Dave E.	Quadratic Avoidance	Possibly due a to a dead leg incurred after hat-trick
	Parkinson Cob		£1.00
	Modesty	Despite getting the 1^st ever genuine MAD hat-trick
	Self-Importance
	Failure To Throw Bat Accurately	During Parkinson Cob
	Saying ‘W’ Word
	Donation		75p
			£3.00
Thornton	Drinking On Pitch * 2	Whilst batting & whilst fielding	£1.00
	Smoking On Pitch		50p
			£1.50
Nick	Trigger Finger	Pitched outside leg, outside the line, going over the top etc, etc…..
	Impersonating Ronaldo
	2 * Ball Avoidance	In the slips	50p
	Lack Of Reflexes	Should have a got a hand to at least one chance
	Not Covering All Slip Positions	Everyone else was on the boundary
	Pub Avoidance
	Stray Dog Avoidance
			£2.00
Ian L	Innumeracy	During fines committee
	Gavel Avoidance	Responsibility of Fines Chairman
	Renting Shoe	Thorn’s steel toe capped boots proving suitable replacement for gavel
	Looking Like An InterRailer	Long hair, small ruck-sack & no obvious home
	Causing Theme Tune Confusion	Trying to make an epic entrance
	Florence Nightingale Avoidance	Fetching ball whilst avoiding tending to Stevie D.
	Impersonating Builder	Showing crack
	Lack Of Subtlety	Whilst building
	Cob	Rizla were provided
	Attempted Fine Entrapment
			£2.50
James P	Trigger Finger	Pitched outside leg, outside the line, going over the top etc, etc…..
	Buckling Under Pressure
	Polite Cob	A result of good breeding
	No Ball Avoidance	Was at least tit high
	Setting Bad Example To Youth	Complaining of fatigue, despite being youngest in the team
	Turned Up In Kit
	Left In Kit
	Average Protection
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Over Average Protection
	Monitoring Statistics	Almost new as much as Matt
			£2.50
James H	Left In Kit
	Hairdressers Car
	Pre-Game Cob
	Defensive Mongoose	The Treasurer requires the loss of his wicket
	Duck Avoidance	Not totally defensive
	Denial
	Film Review Avoidance	Inception described by indefinite hand gesture
	Mongoose Multiplier * 2	Despite being defensive
			£3.50
Dan	Failure To Control Joe Puppy	Joe Puppy performing 12^th man responsibilities
	Joe Puppy Cob	He was only trying to help
	Abromavich Avoidance	Didn’t turn up in boat
	Libel Creation	Scandal on boat
	Self-Entrapment
	Cob
			£1.50
Andy D	Comedy Fielding
	Predicting Fines	Pissed off home
	Jinx	Already new he was going to bowl shite
	Cobing	On bowling shite
	Heart Failure	Sudden collapse in field
	Resurrection	Sudden recovery from collapse
	Donation		£1.50
			£3.00
Gary	Dropped Catch		50p
	Dissing Team
	Lack Of Confidence
	Cob * 2		50p
	Impersonating Sunday League Football Manager	‘Come on guys, this is important!’
	Stating The Obvious	‘Bowl into my gloves’
	Planning Dismissal	Caught or stumped (see above)
			£2.25
Stevie D	Major Cob		50p
	Unnecessary Language	Throughout the match
	Fine Entrapment
	(Dobner Clause Invoked)		£1.00
Jake	Wearing Ballet Shoes	Instead of steel toecaps
	Impersonating InterRailer	Long hair, small ruck-sack & no obvious home
	Emerson Crèche Avoidance	Failed to look after prized bowler in nightclub
	Self-Entrapment	Admitted to failure
			£1.25
Martin W.	Captaincy By Committee	Most of the team involved in deciding field placements
	Reevsie Cob
	Taking A Job In A 7-11
	Failure To Bowl Best Bowlers * 2		50p
	Cob
	Lack Of Authority
	Forming A Variety Of Coalitions	In a hope a decent tactical decision might be made
			£2.00
			£26.75

Special Rates

Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob	£1.00
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£0.50
Insolvency (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2

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