Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Edwards Denied Treble Ton

As KP Lifts The Gloom”

 

 

Sunday 16th May 2010

Result:  No Result - Rain

Venue:  Marlborough School, Woodstock

35 overs

FFTMCC

14 - 0

D. Edwards  12*

Wootton & Bladon

D.N.B

 

 

 

 

Be careful what you wish for and you might just get it. And so it came to pass on a bleak Sunday in May, that the cricket match between long-standing rivals Wootton & Bladon and the Far From The MCC was duly lost to the weather, but not before both sets of opposing players had emptied out a considerable amount of rainwater from their kit-bags, cobbed about the lack of protection from the elements, and moaned loudly about why they had “even fucking bothered”.

 

 

Hiding under the foliage as it start to piss it down (again).

 

The date was May 16th, and it just so happened there were twin distractions on this day. Oxford United had won through to the Conference Play-Off Final at Wembley, and England had made it through to the Twenty20 World Cup Final in the West Indies. Both events had their followers, and both events had substantially weakened the contesting teams in Woodstock this day. In fact, it was safe to say, that most of the guys who actually did turn up were probably in two minds as to whether they should really be making the effort to turn up or not. The forecast was crap, the cold was palpable, and enthusiasm was nowhere to be seen.

 

Play eventually got underway sometime after half past two, following a deluge of rain that had players scampering for cover under available foliage and trees. The Marlborough School ground didn’t have a pavilion as such, and with the gates to the ground being padlocked shut, leaving cars by the boundary’s edge wasn’t an option either. The gazebos from previous years were also absent, as strong winds had threatened to turn them into balloons and blow them into nearby Banbury. So it was just suck it up, carry your kit bag onto a vast open expanse of field, and pray the heavens didn’t open once more. Which of course they fucking did.

 

 

“Pick a team, organise things, make the effort, and it fucking rains….”

 

Martin Westmoreland had won the toss, and reasoned it may be fun to have a bat before it pissed down once more - at least this way it would buck the trend of chasing leather for the first couple of hours. Ian Leggate held a piece of wood over Wootton scorer Derek Hambridge, as he battled against the wind and drizzle as he recorded in pencil in his scorebook. He only recorded 8 balls however, before the drizzle became a deluge once more, and his scorebook resembled a piece of toilet paper in a urinal. His last act as cricketing scribe, was to note J. Greeves slipping on his arse at the popping crease whilst delivering a wide to D. Edwards (12*).

 

 

A man can never have enough Shooz….

 

Back in the changing rooms of the school, bedraggled members from both teams slopped onto benches and slung their soaking whites into pissed-through sports bags. It was about this time that people started querying the statistics of the match – all 8 balls of it. D. Edwards had apparently carved out three sumptuous boundaries in his undefeated 12 not out, whilst N. Hebbes had foregone attacking instincts during his toughed out 0 not out. Edwards was immediately recognised as Man of the Match, despite protestations from Fantasy Cricket Chairman, J. Hoskins, and due to said individuals moaning and blatherings, Edwards quaffed the Champagne to boot, for his square cut boundary off the first ball. Well done, Dan. It is perhaps some crumbs of comfort, because if Dan had carried on batting in the same aggressive manner which had realised 12 runs off the first 1.2 overs, then he would most certainly have notched his maiden treble-ton before the 35th over of the Mad innings – a quite an incredible achievement. Also, if we make use of the same formula, then Nick would still have been 0 not out – quite a special achievement in it’s own right.

 

* * *

 

 

Hugh Heffner and Danger Mouse head for Hoskin’s Sports Bar.

 

Following a brief pint at the White House pub in Woodstock with the opposition, the majority of the Mad ensemble then decamped back to James Hoskin’s house with a dressing gown wearing D. Emerson, to watch the remainder of the Twenty20 Final between England and Australia. It was a highly impressive display from England’s English bowlers, before their South African and Irish batsmen put the Aussies to the sword. Kevin Pietersen’s egotitical and attractive innings of 47 putting a glow back into the day, even at the expense of Hoskin’s continued whinging about his poor run-rate and failure to deliver.

 

 

J. Hoskins privately admires England’s maverick batsman, Big Kev.

 

So, as it transpired in the end, cricket turned out to be a winner, even if cricket was a total loser. Just a shame Dan didn’t have a chance to reach his 300….

 

 

‘TFC’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto's Scorecard

No Fines on this Day

 

 

MOTM:  D. Edwards’ 6 ball undefeated 12 not out

Champagne Moment:  D. Edwards’ boundary first ball

Buffet Award:  n/a

 

 

 

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