Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

“Emotional Baggage Blamed,

As Mad Slump To Milton Defeat”

 

 

Sunday 30th May 2010

Result:  Lost by 10 Runs

Venue:  Warriner School, Bloxham

40 overs

Milton CC

134 - 4

A. Darley  1 - 13,  D. Emerson  1 - 17

FFTMCC

124 ao

A. Darley  52,  D. Edwards  22

 

 

 

Can it really be 4 years further on, from that fateful day in June 2006 when the Mad imploded in one of the great cricketing collapses? 9 wickets fell on that day, in 9 fitful overs, for a poxy 9 runs – and an inquest into the manner of the defeat carried on long into the off-season. Those that were present still carry some of the emotional baggage from that day; glazing over and becoming pale of skin when mention of that match crops up in conversation. It truly was pathetic.

 

 

J. Pearson and Joe Puppy (centre) had no emotional baggage before this day.

 

In subsequent years, it seems little was ever learnt from defeat at the Warriner School ground in 2006. Three more trips were made, and three more losses were incurred; yet on every occasion, whilst tasting bitter defeat, the Mad would rationalise that they were unlucky, and that they were actually a better and more skilful outfit than this Milton lot – that they really should beat them. This attitude was underlined in 2007, when the then skipper, I. Howarth, decided in all his infinite wisdom to partially reverse the batting order when chasing a meagre total. His arrogance was contemptible, and the Mad duly lost in embarrassing fashion with the skipper left stranded on 0 not out.

 

So there is history surrounding this away fixture every year. It is the acid test for assembled Mad. With Bloxham representing probably the furthest distance to travel to any away game (near Banbury), losing can make the journey back home almost unpalatable. So would a new decade usher in any change of fortunes? The cast on this Bank Holiday seemed to think so, especially under the stewardship of one M. Westmoreland – a skipper still bathing in the glow of the Mad’s superb comeback victory but a week ago. Optimism, reasonable weather, and a pre-match pint or two in a pub free of face-painted pagan festival goers all boded well.

 

 

N. Hebbes defends, with the famous Warriner School tree in the background.

 

After winning the toss, Milton raised a few eyebrows after electing to bat first on what appeared to be a bit of a green top. Midweek rain had left the pitch soft, and so there ought to have been plenty in it for the bowlers. This proved to be the case as opening bowlers D. Emerson (7-0-17-1) and J. Pearson (7-0-18-1) extracted bounce and seam movement aplenty, with M. Bullock pouching a smart catch in his unfamiliar role of first slip. A. Darley (5-1-13-1) also enjoyed conditions, his accurate spell rewarded by having C. Price (5) caught by J. Hoskins at short mid off.

 

Though the bowling throughout the Milton innings was neat and tidy, the Mad fielding was the polar opposite. At times, the casual observer would not have been criticised for thinking it was a bunch of visually impaired outpatients suffering from acute arthritis. In all, something like 8 or 9 catches were shelled or grassed, as Team Mad bumbled and hobbled around the pitch in a vain attempt to back their bowlers up.

 

 

M. Westmoreland (left) passes S. Dobner on his way to the gallows.

 

Despite a worrying blip of the yips, M. Westmoreland (7-2-33-1) bagged the prize scalp of A. Stanley for 35, and with S. Dobner (8-2-21-0) proving as miserly as ever, Milton never ever got fully into their stride. There were a couple of lustful blows late on off a below-par J. Hoskins (6-0-29-0), but runs proved elusive as the home team eventually finished on 134 for 4 off their 40 overs. An odd innings in a way, and several of the Mad players would query at the tea interval as to why Milton hadn’t given it more umpty when they had several wickets in hand? Maybe Milton realised it wasn’t that kind of a track to bat on? Local knowledge playing it’s hand maybe….

 

In reply, an insipid start to the Mad innings was furtherly compounded by the early losses of N. Hebbes (4), I. Howarth (0) and M. Reeves (1); and when the obdurate D. Edwards (22) was castled by youngster M. Tremlett, the Mad were tottering on a wobbly 35 for 4 off 17 excruciating dot filled overs.

 

 

“It would appear we’re in another fine mess….”

 

It was extremely hard going out in the middle, but M. Bullock and A. Darley held firm in chewing up a further 10 overs and pushing the score along to the lofty heights of 67. At this conjuncture, Matt (8) heard the death rattle and retreated to join his increasingly worried team mates back in the increasingly cold pavilion. It would be about this time that the prophets of doom became vocal, most of whom had experienced abject failure in Bloxham in the past. Two of these gentlemen had huddled in the shadows, mumbling under their collective breath about “here we go again”, and “what the fuck are we doing”. They then took it in turns to right the wrong and both came up short, S. Dobner bowled for 3, and the skipper caught for a less that laudable 8.

 

 

James’ Mongoose bat is less designed for protecting your bollocks.

 

One man who is never short of optimism, neigh some would say deluded hope, is J. Hoskins (9), and he provided a cheerful cameo before J. Laight managed to seam a ball from leg to off (apparently) to alter his woodwork. Things would have been extremely grim at this point, but for the Mad still possessing batsmen who were largely free of Milton Emotional Baggage (MEB). One of this number was the much maligned A. Darley, who despite a chronic lack of self-confidence, had merrily tonked the ball about whilst carnage ensued at the other end. After a drunken D. Emerson (3) had wobbled off stage, it was with great cheer that he brought up his fifty, a six into the pavilion to finally cast away his inner demons. He had rode his luck, for sure, but it wasn’t Andrew’s fault the opposition couldn’t catch a cold, and it certainly wasn’t Andrew’s fault that he was left to shoulder the Mad innings with Milton virgin, S. Pearson (1*), for company.

 

 

Left to do everything on his own – A. Darley (52) hoiks another boundary.

 

With just 11 runs needed for a most unlikely victory, and with Mad pessimism temporarily relegated to the makeshift crapper behind the pavilion, Darley (52) took one risk too many and holed out to a scampering N. Reeves at deep cow. There was a huge collective sigh, before the obvious recriminations started in which everything and everyone was blamed. Excuses ranged from tiredness, nausea, injury, bad luck, overt pessimism, alcohol, slow batting, a crap track, shit fielding, karma, bringing a black dog to the ground, emotional baggage from previous disasters in Bloxham, and having Ian Howarth in the side.

 

The players would summarily end the day with their usual post-mortem at the Black Boy pub in Bloxham, where ex-Fines Chairman, J. Hotson, did a wonderful job in raising enough money to have the entire team book into extensive sports psychology classes with world renowned professor, E. Veryfuckingtime.

 

 

‘Ducky’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  A. Darley’s enterprising fifty

Champagne Moment:  A. Darley’s six into the club house

Buffet Award:  J. Hoskin’s Bloxham pie with beef and onion gravy

 

 

 

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