Far From The MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

Selected Not So Present Players

 

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Name:

James Blann

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

- 

 

HS:

32

BB:

2 - 23

Debut:

1998

 

 

Every inch a cricketer, James played 9 games for The Jude, taking 7 wickets at 30.00 and scoring 96 runs at 10.67 with a high of 32 against The Baldons in 1999. Unusually fielding close, he had a habit of taking athletic catches. His brother Richard also played 3 times for The Jude.

 

 

 

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Name:

Simon Brandon

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

- 

 

HS:

86

BB:

-

Debut:

1998

 

 

Although playing only 5 times for The Jude, Simon made a huge impact with the bat, scoring 210 runs at 42.00 with a high score of 86. When he left the team, Simon was missed almost as much as his voluptuous girlfriend. Ah. What was her name again? Simon’s brother Michael also played twice for The Jude.

 

 

 

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Name:

Graham Bridges

Nickname:

Running Man

 

Attributes:

Obdurate lower middle order bat

 

HS:

16*

BB:

-

Debut:

2003

 

 

A keen athlete who loved running, Graham made 16 appearances for the Mad spread over the 2003 and 2004 seasons. Always enthusiastic in the field (where he could run a lot), Graham would often be seen bored in the field wishing he was running instead of playing cricket.

 

 

 

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Name:

Andy Cavanagh

Nickname:

QC,  Goose Man

 

Attributes:

Middle order bat,  Pie chucker 

 

HS:

15

BB:

0 - 10

Debut:

2006

 

 

 

Andy Cav’s laconic drawl and wry wit made him an amusing member of the Mad. After an uncertain start in 2006, hardly knowing when to appeal and when not to, Andy soon got the hang of it, and for several games the cry of “Howzat!” could be heard after just about every delivery, until that guy from OUP got sick of it and wrapped his bat round Andy’s head.

 

Andy began shakily at the crease, but found his feet towards the end, and looked positively batsman-like during his high score of 15. He took 5 catches in all. Just a shame that 2 of them were subbing for the University Offices.

 

Andy used to live in an orange house.

 

 

 

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Name:

Petr Cech

Nickname:

Czech Boy

 

Attributes:

Confused lower order batsman 

 

HS:

2

BB:

-

Debut:

2006

 

 

 

An apparent woodworker by trade, Petr shared his name with the Chelsea FC goalkeeper of that time, and spent his short duration with the Mad admonishing his team mates who asked him how his footballing career was going. It was with great sadness when he left this island for New Zealand in the fall of 2007, as he amused all with his dry wit and his child-like enthusiasm for a game he simply couldn’t comprehend. Thankfully his name is etched in our scorebook forever after he carved a couple through slips at Jordan Hill. So long Petr, we hope we see you again one day, and we hope your footballing career blossoms.

 

Petr is good in bed apparently.

 

 

 

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Name:

JP Collins

Nickname:

JP

 

Attributes:

Middle order hitter,  Nippy medium pace swing bowler 

 

HS:

27

BB:

3 - 30

Debut:

2008

 

 

 

JP debuted for the Mad towards the end of the 2008 season. An Australian by birth, he buggered off at the end of the 2009 season, much like all our other Australians before him. A decent hitter down the order, it was with the ball which JP really impressed, taking several useful wickets with his consistent medium pace. He was either consistently good, or consistently crap – but either way, he was extremely consistent.

 

JP couldn’t catch a cold.

 

 

 

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Name:

Lee Davie

Nickname:

Accrington

 

Attributes:

Top order bat,  Handy medium pace bowler 

 

HS:

97*

BB:

2 - 3

Debut:

1998

 

 

 

A fine player whose stint in the 2003 No-Mad team was kept to just one game by a horrific plastering injury. Lee has played 13 matches for Jude and the Mad, taking 12 wickets with his left-arm bowling, but it is with the bat he is the true star. His top score of 97* against South Oxford Social Club at Horspath in 2001 is still one of the highest Mad scores, and over the years Lee has managed to average well over 50 for the club. He is also very quick behind the stumps and in the field. A true all-rounder who won the coveted Player of the Year shield in 2001.

 

Lee returned to the Mad ranks at the start of 2005 and once again demonstrated his ability with bat and ball, but his appearances were all too brief. The club hope he can be persuaded to don the whites a few more times in future.

 

Lee is dodgy with a knife in his hand.

 

 

 

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Name:

Adrian Deans

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat,  Pie chucker

 

HS:

1

BB:

-

Debut:

1998

 

 

An Antipodean all-rounder of no little talent, in his only game for The Jude, Adrian was out for one, bowled a series of beamers and fielded like a turd, all while wearing whites three sizes too small. In his defence, Deans was just off the plane from Australia and hadn't played in several years, but on the other hand, the stats do not lie. Lately Mr. Deans has penned the sports novel Mr. Cleansheets to become the latest in a long line of distinguished Australian novelists.

 

 

 

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Name:

Simon Dickens

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Handy lower middle order bat,  Tidy medium pace bowling

 

HS:

17*

BB:

6 - 23

Debut:

1999

 

 

A regular with Stanton St. John Willows and long-time close friend of Lee Davie, Simon Dickens played only twice for The Jude, but in doing so took 9 wickets at 9.44. Against Marcham in 1999 he went so far as to register the figures of 6-24 which is still one of the best hauls ever for the Mad.

 

Simon was a ringer.

 

 

 

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Name:

Paul Drake

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Handy middle order bat

 

HS:

22

BB:

1 - 8

Debut:

2000

 

 

A veteran of 10 games for Jude and Mad, Paul was last seen heading off the field after the 2002 Bodleian game at Pembroke in a heavy sweat, and next day was admitted to hospital with pneumonia. Sorry Paul, we shouldn’t have begged you to play. Paul was an occasional bowler, and a useful batsman who top scored with 22 and averaged 10.

 

 

 

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Name:

Ade Fisher

Nickname:

Crash

 

Attributes:

RH Lower-order tonker,  The Guru of Pie bowling

 

HS:

41

BB:

5 - 15

Debut:

2000

 

 

 

An imposing character, well known and respected for many years around Oxford, The Mad (in those days, The Jude) first came into contact with Ade while he was captaining the now defunct Team With No Name, one of the old Oxford cricket teams which has sadly now gone the way of most old Oxford cricket teams. Back then the Team With No Name were a decent side, and Ade would cut an impressive figure as he strode to the crease at first drop and proceed to flay the inept Jude bowling to all parts.

 

When the No Namers disbanded, Ade set up base at the Marsh Harrier, and at one point even cobbled together a Marsh team, though in fairness they were a useless bunch of less-than-part-time misfits who even the Jude had no trouble caning. Soon Ade was forced to accept his inevitable fate and join the ranks of the Mad.

 

Ade was probably the greatest skipper that the Mad never had. His cricketing knowledge was deep, and he was never shy in offering it. Not one to suffer fools gladly, his forthrightness was a hallmark of his direct and engaging personality. Given time, he may well have turned the Mad into a crack unit of actual sportsmen. Instead they remain to this day the bunch of fools he was content to suffer.

 

As Ade said many times, bowlers win matches, and it was with his bowling that he made the greatest impact. His swashbuckling batting style became less effective as the Mad faced stronger opposition and he lost the desire to run, but his beguiling slow bowling often bamboozled even the surest of batsmen. His best figures of 5-15 are testament to that. Some there were who said that he bowled pies, but perhaps there was an element of jealousy in that friendly taunt. His lobbed tarts and flans were deadly against the tail, or indeed any batsman playing for The Marlborough Arms. If they were pies, then they were the tastiest in Oxford.

 

Ade was an indispensable member of The Jude and the Mad, a friendly landlord in times of need, and a fine man. He is sadly missed.

 

Adrian J. Fisher (1965 – 2011). Too well loved to ever be forgotten.

 

 

 

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Name:

John Harris

Nickname:

Calypso

 

Attributes:

Middle order batsman,  Off-spin bowler 

 

HS:

48

BB:

7 - 5

Debut:

2003

 

 

 

A keen footballer, John joined the Mad in 2003, and immediately fitted into the team with his laid-back nature and affable nature. Stylish with the bat, John never broke the fifty barrier, which perhaps his talents should have allowed. He will, however, always be remembered for his bowling – one spell in particular, in which he returned the quite amazing figures of 7 for 5 against the Marlborough House in 2005. He even added a direct run out to that tally – quite a day then.

 

John always preferred football.

 

 

 

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Name:

Brad Harsant

Nickname:

Bradders

 

Attributes:

RH Confused lower order bat

 

HS:

4

BB:

-

Debut:

2009

 

 

 

A long lost cousin of Lord Lucan, not much was known about Brad, apart from the fact he couldn't speak any Spanish and he was an electrician by trade. He may well actually be living in an expat community in Spain right now, because we can't actually get hold of him. His e-mails don’t bounce, so we’ll keep him on our books.

 

According to Statto’s History Folder, Brad has only ever managed one game for the Mad, and even if that’s true – it’s considerably more input than most of the characters that have graced these internet pages.

 

Brad plays cricket in shorts and is a stunt double for Geoff (when viewed from above).

 

 

 

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Name:

Steve Hebbes

Nickname:

Oops,  Asterix

 

Attributes:

Lower middle order bat,  Handy medium pace bowler 

 

HS:

33

BB:

4 - 7

Debut:

2003

 

 

 

Steve, brother of Nick, and the second half of a complete fennel. He is the inventor of the now infamous skidding delivery characterised by a complete lack of bounce. The Hebbes 'skidder', which tends to leave the batsman bamboozled and Out, is always accompanied by the embarrassed cry of “Oops!” Experienced observers of the game of cricket have long theorised that the Oops ball is most easily perfected by the vertically challenged.

 

A handy lower order bat, and a regular wicket taker, Steve was particularly impressive in 2003 when he bagged 19 victims. The Mad now miss his all round game after he relocated to Newcastle and then London, and then somewhere else, and somewhere else after that. Occasionally Steve guests for us when time allows.

 

Steve has an unhealthy obsession with fines.

 

 

 

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Name:

Neil Howarth

Nickname:

Harold,  Teach

 

Attributes:

Handy lower order bat,  Fast medium pace bowler 

 

HS:

14

BB:

0 - 13

Debut:

2003

 

 

 

Neil has only managed 1 game for the Mad, though he has done his stints at umpiring over recent years. Father of Ian, his nickname refers to his fiery bowling of yesteryear where he plied his trade in the Lancashire cricket leagues - his style likened to that of the infamous ‘Bodyline’ exponent Harold Larwood. A fine player in his pomp, he is now happily retired in Cornwall.

 

Neil likes a good old moan.

 

 

 

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Name:

Martin Hurley

Nickname:

Hurlers

 

Attributes:

Unconventional lower middle order bat

 

HS:

20

BB:

-

Debut:

1998

 

 

Martin returned home to Ireland in 2001 after a stint working in Germany, but before that played 14 games for The Jude. Martin’s unconventional batting style, influenced by his education in the sport of hurling, yielded 106 runs at 7.57 with a high score of 20.

 

 

 

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Name:

Dylan Jones

Nickname:

Drag’ On!

 

Attributes:

Lower order slogger,  Erratic medium pace bowling

 

HS:

14

BB:

4 - 17

Debut:

2002

 

 

 

Welsh import Dylan Jones played over 20 games for the Mad after his debut in 2002. Erratic, but handy medium pace bowling accompanied a fine penchant for throwing a cob. Dylan could always be heard muttering under his breath, or sulking about the then captain J. Hoskin’s many decisions both on and off the field.

 

Dylan liked a good sulk.

 

 

 

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Name:

Howard Jones

Nickname:

Howie

 

Attributes:

Top order hitter,  Medium pace  /  off spin bowling

 

HS:

14

BB:

4 - 17

Debut:

2002

 

 

 

No, not the 80s pop star, what on earth were you thinking? Howard, who actually preferred Joy Division, was a Jude stalwart of 30 games up until the beginning of 2002, and also made a few cameo appearances in 2004. A dashing batsmen and fine pace bowler prone to occasional lapses in concentration at the crease and in the field, he was Player of the Year in 1999 and overall averaged 24 with the bat. Although he twice took 5 for 9, his most impressive spell came against The Team With No Name at Horspath in 2000, when in a rain-ruined match he destroyed the opposition top order with 3-3 in 3 unplayable overs. He also held a then record for Most Catches In An Innings (4), against South Oxford Social Club in 2001. Howie has now relocated to Wales.

 

Howie was paranoid of drainage covers.

 

 

 

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Name:

Chris Legg

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Opening bat,  Opening bowler

 

HS:

49

BB:

3 - 16

Debut:

1998

 

 

One-time manager of Jude The Obscure in Walton Street, Chris was a founding player who was heard at the 2000 AGM to exclaim ‘I’m not playing under that f*cking Aussie!’ (who could he have meant?), thus casting the team elections into chaos and recriminations. An opening bowler and batsman, he took 16 wickets at 22.81 and scored 198 runs at 16.50 with a high of 49 against Isis at Cuttleslowe in 1999. Chris married an extremely beautiful nurse and buggered off up north to manage a sports store.

 

 

 

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Name:

Ed Lester

Nickname:

Scissorhands,  Steady

 

Attributes:

Top order hitter,  Medium pace  /  off spin bowling

 

HS:

33*

BB:

3 - 11

Debut:

1998

 

 

 

As a founding member of the team (under a different name) and past Captain, Eddie brought a wealth of experience to the team as an eminent hypnotherapist, although none of his teammates really need hypnotising to get pissed. Eddie’s best performance in 2003 was a remarkable 666*, against a team of imaginary fielders, hitting an imaginary cricket ball during an imaginary match. Ed’s tour organising prowess is legendary among tour organisers, and his ability to collect tour deposit money from recalcitrant players has come to the attention of local Mafia groups wishing to hire him as a debt collector. Alas, Eddie has now left us and plies his trade in New Zealand.

 

Eddie does not like the LBW law (particular at his level of cricket).

 

 

 

*

 

Name:

James Mander

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat,  Occasional bowler

 

HS:

14

BB:

2 - 15

Debut:

2001

 

 

Another Mander, is there no end to them? Ben’s cousin James played 6 games for the Jude during the 2001 season before getting sick of England and going back to Australia. Once opted out of an important Jude fixture at noon on Sunday in order to ‘go and get a haircut’. A useful all-round athlete who underachieved in scoring 23 runs at 4.6 and taking 3 wickets at 28.67.

 

 

 

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Name:

Antony Mann

Nickname:

THE Ant,  Blocker

 

Attributes:

Defensive minded batsman,  Left arm swing bowler 

 

HS:

58

BB:

5 - 25

Debut:

1998

 

 

 

So long the integral heartbeat, Antony Mann injected his mixture of warmth and dry sarcasm, and no little amount of enthusiasm into the club for over a decade. An intelligent man, whose astute observations of all around him, would appear in match reports or provide inspiration for the characters in many of his short stories. Ant nearly always topped the bowling averages, and his record haul of wickets was in addition to the many useful runs he notched for the Mad – usually whilst he grumbled and chuntered whilst batting down the order. He was almost the complete all-rounder, only tarnished by looking like a complete geriatric in the field.

 

It was indeed an epochal event when Ant left these shores for his homeland at the start of 2009. Some believe it was a cunning ploy to claim Lord Lucan’s club record of Longest Interval Between Appearances (2,185 days, 99 Matches). Some say he’s returned to report his personal study of English Madmen and lager louts to his fellow countrymen in Australia. Some say he just fled to avoid the shitty weather, but all were agreed, he will be sorely missed. He still contributes to the website, and we hope to see THE Ant sometime in the future.

 

Ant loves a good punch up at his book launches.

 

 

 

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Name:

Clare Norris

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Lower order blocker

 

HS:

8*

BB:

-

Debut:

1999

 

 

 

The Jude’s only regular female player, and not a lesbian. Clare was an Oxford Blue with a classical batting style who scored 25 runs in 15 games at an average of 2.5. Clare married Julian and went to Australia with Buzz and Lucy. We miss you too, Clare.

 

 

 

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Name:

Leo Phillips

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Middle order wicketkeeping batsman

 

HS:

44*

BB:

-

Debut:

1999

 

 

 

The team captain of the 2001 season who fled the country after a disappointing season with the bat. A talented professional violinist and true raconteur, Leo top-scored with 44 not out and in 13 matches compiled 209 runs for Jude and Mad at an average of 19. Leo is sorely missed. Come home soon, Leo….

 

 

 

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Name:

Sam Pollard

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat,  Occasional bowler

 

HS:

9

BB:

2 - 17

Debut:

1998

 

 

A Judester who played 10 games before not playing any more. He once hit 9 not out against someone. Sam ran the bookshop on Walton Street, then suddenly, one day, he didn’t. He now lives off the Cowley Road. That, or he doesn’t.

 

 

 

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Name:

Noel Reilly

Nickname:

Reillers

 

Attributes:

Middle order wicketkeeping batsman

 

HS:

3

BB:

-

Debut:

1998

 

 

 

Noel was landlord at Jude the Obscure in Walton Street until 2001 and co-founder of the original team. A constant source of spiritual inspiration for both Jude and Mad, Noel’s generosity towards the team in both its incarnations was unwavering. He played 3 times for the Jude, scoring 3 runs at an average of 1.00. His most impressive display came perhaps against The Beehive in Swindon in 2000, when his exertions in scoring a single proved so telling that he when he finally left the field of play it was on a stretcher.

 

Noel sadly passed away in the latter half of 2008. His son James said his father was "the perfect landlord". He added that, "he has been described as a chainsmoking intellectual Irishman, a bunch of contradictions and the archetypal landlord."

 

Throughout his career Mr Reilly could be unpredictable, banning people for the 'wrong hair' or for the 'sin' of drinking in another pub — but he always let them back after a few days. Close friend John Somer described him as "generous to a fault, cantankerous and wonderful."

 

Noel Reilly (1946 – 2008). He will be remembered.

 

 

 

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Name:

Nigel Sawyer

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat

 

HS:

1*

BB:

-

Debut:

1998

 

 

Bon vivant friend to Noel Reilly and Eddie Lester. Nigel accidentally played for the Mad on the 2002 tour to Cornwall, scoring 1 not out against the surly opposition, but is better known for hosting the Jude tours to Weymouth in 1999 and 2000, which thanks in large part to his efforts turned out to be the memorable weekends they were. Unlike the trip to Cornwall. Which was shit.

 

 

 

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Name:

Adie Small

Nickname:

Mr. Small

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat,  Medium pace trundler

 

HS:

10

BB:

2 - 23

Debut:

2006

 

 

 

Mr. Small was the first, and only cartoon character, who has represented the Mad. Nothing could knock Adie’s unbridled enthusiasm and optimism when he took to the pitch. Whilst batting would always prove an alien concept to Adie, he enjoyed the odd fleeting success with his bowling – his over-the-top celebrations on bagging a wicket could be likened to a footballer scoring at Wembley.

 

Adie scooped the Best Effort award in 2007, which many believe may have had something to do with voluptuous appetite – he never once left the tea-ladies with the burden of discarding any unwanted food. Adie left to pursue a career as a cartoon spokesperson for Disney at the end of 2008, we wish him well.

 

Adie’s run up to bowl took well over half an hour.

 

 

 

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Name:

Vicki Stone

Nickname:

L’il Dennis

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat 

 

HS:

0

BB:

-

Debut:

2005

 

 

 

Vicki Howarth, formerly Vicki Stone, used to get all the perks and advantages that you would expect from being the then skipper Ian Howarth’s better half: washing his cricket whites, massaging his bunion, listening to his post-match blatherings about what a great game he had and how fantastic his captaincy skills were. Following his sacking, her love of turning up on Sunday’s quickly faded, as she found sunbathing in the back garden with a decent book for company an unequivocally more fulfilling experience.

 

Vic only played in one Sunday game proper, where nobody told her how to use a backlift when batting, and where nobody explained where any of the fielding positions were. Her game did however, coincide with a certain John Harris taking that 7-for, so her name will be engrained on that famous scorecard for ever.

 

Vicki thinks cricket is shit.

 

 

 

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Name:

Mike Thorburn

Nickname:

Pisshead

 

Attributes:

Lower middle order bat,  Occasional medium pace trundler

 

HS:

44

BB:

2 - 17

Debut:

1999

 

 

 

A veteran of 17 games up until the end of 2001, Mike started shakily with many scores under 1 (somewhat less than his professed youthful average) until finding his feet and finishing with a high score of 44 and an average of 10.56. Mike was often completely pissed before, during and after games, which, while seeming to help his own performance, was not very good for anyone else’s. Mike was also a useful change bowler who could land the ball on a length, especially when pissed. Someone once saw Mike not pissed somewhere, but then it turned out to be someone else. He took 14 wickets at 21.71 before heading up to Manchester with his girlfriend to get pissed.

 

Mike was an utter pisshead.

 

 

 

*

 

Name:

Greg Le Tocq

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat,  Quick opening bowler

 

HS:

21*

BB:

4 - 9

Debut:

2000

 

 

A precocious young quickie who was young and quick, but not as quick as he thought he was, and hence, not so precocious. He found it hard to take batting seriously, but took 18 wickets in 11 matches at 13.39 with best figures of 4-9 against The Brewers XI in Weymouth, 2000. Greg went away to university in Nottingham.

 

 

 

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Name:

Fred Townsend

Nickname:

-

 

Attributes:

Lower order bat,  Quick opening bowler

 

HS:

4

BB:

5 - 24

Debut:

1998

 

 

Founding member of the Jude, Fred was an imposing spin bowler who was usually to be found at mid-on hoiking his cricket pants up to his neck. A mainstay of the team for 12 games – too few – Fred averaged a disappointing 2.56 with his batting, but was an important partnership-breaking bowler and took 10 wickets at 36.10, with a best of 5-24 against The Beehive in 1998. Fred’s son James also played twice for The Jude. Fred is currently living in Witney.

 

 

 

 

 

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